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This Poem was Submitted By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-08-09 11:35:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Petunia's First Flight

A bob, dip, curtsy, then a swift uplift from a wind draft. My thumb on the string, I watch the soaring might of my hand-made kite, Petunia. Two balloons released for good luck pre-kite flight and I admire the verve and pluck of my purple flyer. A five- feet tail, beribboned in the same shade, trails like the end of a parade. My Petunia is a singing shadow in the sky and I ease more string to conjure her higher. Alone, I embrace the sweet moment, having left work early for stolen time with my flower-power flyer. I feel refreshed, renewed, filled with an elan of purple hue. A change of pace-- to lessen the stress in my days and as I up-gaze, rave reviews for the brave Petunia.

Additional Notes:
My inner child is alive and well.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-05 09:25:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14444
Love the uplifting feel of this first stanza you have me flying a kite next to you. What could my kite have instead of having ribbons as the tail...all I can think of is baseball cards...lol. Now for the depth of the poem that you have given this reader, the need to release the pressures of life, to change the pace and reflect on that which is important, to recall what we learned as children. Funny how we always come back no matter what age. Another excellent poem Mell. How can I make any suggestions to a poem that brings me back into the importance of getting away. Great presentation with thought within this one and structure I wouldn't change 4 stanzas equal in length followed by the purpose. Thanks again for sharing. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-09-01 22:31:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.33333
Dear Mell, I am glad to see that your inner child is alive and well. Mine loves to play with bubbles, so it is a wonderful time when the grandkids come over and we have bubble time. You are so right, it is a stress reliever for me, not only to blow bubbles, but to play! Most of all to just play. I have felt better this summer and have been doing a lot of that with my grandkids. Have you been not well? I kinda picked that up on the forum. Hope you and Gary are doing fine now. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-08-19 00:11:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Mell: I read this earlier, with much enjoyment. It reminds me of a poem I wrote some time ago, which features an 'emergency' kite in the trunk of my car. That yours is handmade and purple makes it even more memorable. When I wrote my poem, I was still working, and can certainly relate to the need for 'stress relief'! This work is affectionate and endearing - and as such is certainly a keeper - and filled with the delectable sounds which so enjoy in your poetry. A bob, dip, curtsy, then a swift uplift from a wind draft. My thumb on the string, I watch the soaring might of my hand-made kite, Petunia. The verbal action is droll and vivid. Miss Petunia displays her 'verve' as well as femininity with such motions as 'bob, dip, curtsy' as she makes her maiden voyage on the air stream. I know you live in Texas, and wonder where this takes place, as I envision the scene at the beach, which is where all of my own kite-flying adventures have taken place. Two balloons released for good luck pre-kite flight and I admire the verve and pluck of my purple flyer. A five- feet tail, beribboned in the same shade, The very feminine 'two balloons' symbolism is probably my imagination, but then I see symbolism in everything. <smile> "purple flyer" brings to mind a "red flyer" wagon I used to journey in. Your splendiferous Petunia lifts this reader above daily concerns for a loftier view of life. The feeling I gained from this poem is one of desiring freedom and regaining a sense of it in a playful manner. trails like the end of a parade. My (This almost seems to hint of an ending. . .?) Petunia is a singing shadow in the sky and I ease more string to conjure her higher. Alone, I embrace the sweet The terms "shadow" and "conjure" almost suggest that this kite-flight marks a kind of closure for the writer. The kite soars above her ordeals, decked in royal purple, singing her way skyward. I cannot help but imagine that the speaker is releasing sadness along with the kite. moment, having left work early for stolen time with my flower-power flyer. I feel refreshed, renewed, filled with an elan of purple hue. A change of pace-- I love the "flower-power flyer" phrase! It reminds me that you are a self-described 'hippie' and someone who knows how to turn to beauty for refreshment, generously sharing it with readers. Invoking it might be closer to what I want to say - 'conjure' really says it better. <smile> to lessen the stress in my days and as I up-gaze, rave reviews for the brave Petunia. I noted the v's throughout this piece (and many other deft allits) and felt myself remembering a song from long ago, and the 'v' signal of WWII symbolizing victory. I love the fresh term, "up-gaze" for it is pure "Mell-ifluous." "Rave reviews" for this refreshing poem! May Petunia and her creator enjoy many more joyous flights. All my best, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Drenda D. Cooper On Date: 2003-08-16 19:07:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, your inner child is not only alive and well, she is in rare form--absolutely "harmonic". Your hallmark style is evident in this one..those run on rhymes that seem to just flow off the top of your head effortlessly and "unforced"...however, I know that it cannot be as effortless as it appears...unless, of course, you are truly some sort of "word genius"..and that is definitely a possibility that should not be discounted. The title is appropriate and piques the interest of the reader's "inner child." Right away the rhythm and the wording are action packed, yet light and airy, and the internal rhyming is flawlessly crafted. The mood the poem sets is "uplifting" to say the least..HEHEHHE! "A bob, dip, curtsy, then a swift uplift from a wind draft. My thumb on the string, I watch the soaring might of my hand-made kite, Petunia. Two balloons released for good luck pre-kite flight and I admire the verve and pluck of my purple flyer. A five- feet tail, beribboned in the same shade," I am sure that "a five-feet tail" is in no way incorrect..I just have always used "five-foot" (it might be a cultural or "southern" thing) "trails like the end of a parade. My Petunia is a singing shadow in the sky and I ease more string to conjure her higher. Alone, I embrace the sweet" Nice simile here--followed by superb metaphor--I like the way you use words like "conjure her higher." ...that is what makes you such a poetess.. "moment, having left work early for stolen time with my flower-power flyer. I feel refreshed, renewed, filled with an elan of purple hue. A change of pace-- to lessen the stress in my days and as I up-gaze, rave reviews for the brave Petunia." Now I knew "elan" from working cross-word puzzles...but an "elan of purple hue" is an altogether wonderment thing.. This lovingly written poem certainly lessens the stress in my days and I have rave reviews for the brave Petunia and nothing but KUDOES for the talents of Mell...I cannot think of a better reason to steal a little time off from work....Loved it and you too!!! ..........drenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-08-13 10:46:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, This is so much fun to read. It demands to be read aloud. The rhythm is perfect. The rhymes are sublime in their natural occurance and placement. The alliteration is spell binding and hypnotically poetic. Ohhhh....you know all of this. I'm not talking to a Junior in college here. This poembrings back such memories. I had a kite. All God's chillins had a kite. How is it I forgot about that kite. It was blue with white cresent moon. At a certain time of evening the blue blended with the sky and in appeared as if I were flying the moon. Man O Man! What a memory that is. Your poem so perfectly captures the experience. Your childhood is indeed alive and well and evidence that we don't so much grow up, as grow in. I have to go get a kite...be back soon. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-08-13 01:36:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Mell, This is stirring! Again, you take us readers to the higher place, elevating our spirit to the “seventh heaven”. This is truly a “cloud nine”! “Petunia’s First Flight” --- I love the title! I like the simplicity of it! Its beauty radiates in its simplicity. I find it very personal and very special to the author. Though, a bit tricky also because “Petunia” refers to flowers and “First Flight” is quite unfitting. At first I was a bit confused but when I read your first stanza and found the word “kite”, this just got me more excited! I know this was something more than I expected. “A bob, dip, curtsy, then a swift uplift from a wind draft. My thumb on the string, I watch the soaring might of my hand-made kite, Petunia.” --- This is visually attractive! I find the rarity of “bob”, “dip” and “curtsy” appropriate and cute for the kite. I personally enjoyed the word “soaring might” and the kite’s name “Petunia”. “Two balloons released for good luck pre-kite flight and I admire the verve and pluck of my purple flyer. A five- feet tail, beribboned in the same shade,” --- I find the two balloons as “pre-kite flight” ceremonial…it is like “ribbon-cutting” for children! Endearing! The description “purple” fittingly supports your kite’s name “Petunia”. It may have been your basis on why you named it “Petunia”. “trails like the end of a parade. My Petunia is a singing shadow in the sky and I ease more string to conjure her higher. Alone, I embrace the sweet” --- “My Petunia is a singing shadow in the sky…” is truly exquisite! This is my most favorite part, poetically done! “moment, having left work early for stolen time with my flower-power flyer. I feel refreshed, renewed, filled with an elan of purple hue. A change of pace—“ --- This is just wonderful! It just getting better! “Flower-power flyer”, I can’t help but visualize those cute “Power-puff Girls”. The rhyming of “flower” and “power” is contagious. The line “I feel refreshed, renewed, filled with an élan of purple hue. A change of pace ---“, you just know how to entertain your readers, keeping us not get bored, truly “a change of pace”. “to lessen the stress in my days and as I up-gaze, rave reviews for the brave Petunia.” --- Yes, your “Petunia” is truly an inspiration! I like how you described it as “brave”, it just make it such a little wonder. Thanks for posting this for our enjoyment! “My inner child is alive and well.” --- Oh, we can feel it in every word, in every line of your work here! It even rouses our own childhood memories! Thanks! Kudos on your wonderful work here Mell! This is skillfully done! Double congrats to your previous winning…for me, this is another top notch! Outstanding! As always, Erzahl :)

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