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This Poem was Submitted By: Ken Dauth On Date: 2003-08-11 19:23:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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At last Sunrise

Still, one more sunrise breaks the horizon Lifting lightly bottomed clouds and me I shift not, my head resting back Each ray is marked deserving As I outline this days end Cool air filtered to Warm me slightly And set pall Bearing Dusk

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-08-29 02:35:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.65000
Hi Ken, This is a wonderful imagery of sunrise to sunset. I like how you format your sentences into something like an upside down ladder that results into a vision of sun’s ray that is about to shimmer. Or vice versa - sun’s ray that is about to rest. I like how you captured this enthralling moment! As what you have mention “I shift not, my head resting back”, I can sense that you have enjoyed every minute the light touched your epidermis, its tender and soothing effect. If you were sick (and laying in the bed) during that time when you made this poem, I hope the warmth it brought to you was able to heal you physically and emotionally. Sometimes, the innocent beauty of nature has healing powers that appease our soul. And that is what I see whenever I witness a grand sunrise. “Each ray is marked deserving” --- As if, every beam is carefully savored, cautiously cherished. Unforgettable site! Kudos on your inspiring work here Ken! Overall, I find this skillfully done! Your “choice of words” are perfect! Simple but delightful! Thanks for posting this in TPL! I sure enjoy the read! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-08-17 21:51:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.92000
Ken, that is so cool! Perfect form that adds to the beauty of this piece! This is creativity at it's best. From sunrise to sunset your words are measured and powerpacked. I have always been one to go for the least amount of words as possible and this one proves my point that it makes your words hang in the air with meaning when done right. The natural breaks are perfect also. Brava for a work well done. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-08-17 21:44:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.71429
Ken, This is a great testimony to daily living. But, then it makes me stop and think...is daily living such a chore? Should I feel this ambivalent? Andrea

This Poem was Critiqued By: George L White On Date: 2003-08-14 10:39:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Hi Ken, This one stands alone well. “Still,” sets the tone immediately. It’s ending was also perfect as the vision was created in descending terms to create the last. IN general the piece made me feel like a single breath, breathing in….. breathing out. Wonderful. Possible suggestion for formatting? At last Sunrise Still, one more sunrise breaks the horizon Lifting lightly bottomed clouds and me I shift not, my head resting back Each ray is marked deserving As I outline this days end Cool air filtered to Warm me slightly And set pall Bearing Dusk Thanks, George

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-08-13 20:59:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Ken, Very interesting format that catches the eye and just demands that your read the poem! It must be extrememly difficult to make the words fall into just that pattern, but you did it well. REads just like it should, with each line descending until it is finally dusk. Just like the sun setting. Excellent work. Sherri

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