Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-08-19 10:44:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Waiting in the Cradle

Amanda, tender in her skin Extends a leg - and I suppose The tiny dimple in her knee As apt to change the universe As was the sight of Helen’s face And Cleopatra’s nose

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-04 15:11:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.12500
Rachel what inspired you to write this poem? I see the start of a new life and how this one individual will effect all that they come in contact with that is magnified in the universe. In other words effecting all. I also see beauty in this presentation by your last two lines. That is my take on it. Love short exchanges of poetry that have an emphasis on life. Hope to be by Mugsby's within a couple of weeks. See you then. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-09-02 23:02:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi rachel, I skipped down to this which is about #48 on my list. Delightful piece, truly. Perfection can be found in the tiniest of details, and what we remembermost clearly, may be a part of the whole, rather than the entirety. Juxtaposing Amanda with the glorious Helen and Cleopatra is a great way of conveying that she, a mere infant, is as filled with potential as these ladies once were, and can rock the world. That dimple might someday be priceless to the one person who can celebrate it in art, discover a cure for melanoma or write the unforgettable novel of a lifteime! Even the rhyme works. This is a fun read, and I suspect was written with much enjoyment. (Who's Amanda?) All the Best, Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-08-20 08:12:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.01923
Good morning poet....what a lovely way to start my morning......Amanda, waitingin the cradle....the opening lines put a smile on my face knowing Amanda to be oh so young with her baby soft skin and the dimple in her knee.......tiny as it may be its there for a reason and who knows what? to make a mark on this workd of ours,..nicely done...enjoyed the structure for the words just kept flowing, the thoughts of Cleopatra and Helen added to the closing lines......thank you for sharing this with us. Be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-08-19 18:27:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rachel, This is so eloquent in its simplicity and and beautiful in its charm. I absolutely love the title. It speaks of truths far beyond the reach of own lives, yet somehow evident to those who look as closely as you. Imagine, the universe pivoting on a dippled knee. Hmmm...it does indeed. Another wonderful reflection from a shining source. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-08-19 16:26:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.90000
Dear Rachel, This is such a sweet and loving poem to Amanda and let me tell you why I wish I had written it. My grand-daughter gave birth to a little boy on Aug. 12th and we are all so thrilled! Your words, even though few, tell the whole story of how a child is welcomed into a loving family. I am just sure that 'tiny dimple in her knee' may very well change the course of history! This Saturday I will fly to Ft Worth to stay with my grand-daughter as her husband and my daughter both must return to work. I can hardly wait to get my arms around that little boy and I am sure he is just as beautiful as they all tell me he is. I just have a feeling he might inspire me to write a poem but after reading this piece I am afraid I won't do him justice! I am so glad you shared this little bit of Amanda with us. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-08-19 15:36:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.06667
Short but sweet, Rachel. I always say, why use alot of extra words if you don't have to, And you have wasted none. I like the name of this one. "Waiting In The Cradle" says plenty right there. I love the touching way you introduce Amanda as a newborn-"tender in her skin". That is lovely. When you look at that sweet soft baby you are reminded that she has her whole life ahead of her and you know, right there in that one preceous moment, that she has the ability to be "SOMEONE", to do something great with her life. New life is so promising and so inspiring. The structure of this poem makes it flow well and I like the no-punctuation stance for the same reason. Rhyming would only mess this up. Nice poem, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Galen never received one at bir Arrowhead On Date: 2003-08-19 15:07:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hi Rachel, I enjoyed your poem. What I gather from it is that Amanda is a baby. Perhaps because babies so frequently have dimples in their knees. I also gather that each individual (symbolized by Amanda) throws a pebble in the pond of the universe and its ripple along those of many others changes the course of life and destiny of the human race. I caught the rhyme in "suppose" and "nose." I don't recall much was ever said about her nose, but in a sense if her nose symbolizes her inherent ability to understand and manipulate men, it makes sense. Of course, I could be way off track. So how'd I do? Anywhere near the mark of your intent?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-08-19 12:48:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.46512
Rachel, "Amanda, tender in her skin" is a wonderful description of a new little person in our world. This piece is a slice of life that fills a parent's palate. It is so amazing how a snug little bundle can inspire so much hope and joy. Well put and full of loving emotions. Andrea

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!