This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-09-03 22:45:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Lunar Spoofs

New moon wearing your veil  to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep. Crescent moon slice pieces of night, cut silver slivers for ghost trees to devour. Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight? Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin Full moon -- oh! Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases.

Copyright © September 2003 Joanne M Uppendahl


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 22:10:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45098
The various moons to view and watch. That is the type of poetry I like to read and write, showing the various cycles that make up a object in this case the moon. New, Cresent , Half, three quarter, full. Each stanza supports the moons position. Thank you for sharing. Each phase presents a part of life. Well done. Tom


This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-10-07 10:46:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joanne, This is a quick at-work take. I skipped down and finally found one of your pieces! I love the way the moon is personified as a woman which, of course, is fitting for such a feminine influence. The new moon becomes Maiden, veiled and energetic. "Sea children" is lovely! Crescent moon slice pieces of night, cut silver slivers Great sonic elements here! The subtlety of the crescent slicing night is delightful; I sense a scimitar, cutting through darkness and scattering stars. "Ghost trees" suggest all the trees that have ever lived beneath the night sky. Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight? This makes me chuckle. A moody moon is so like a woman under the influence of her own biology! She's unpredictable, hot or cold, in or out. Isolating "tonight" indicates that one's emotions are fleeting, changeable from moment to moment. Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin Ah yes, there are always the mundane tasks to accomplish. Neat short-i assonance/n consonance in pinning/rinsed/spin. (Something in me wonders what would happen if "spin" became "cycle" which would add a double meaning, and imply the start of Cronehood as well as the recurrent female "monthlies" which are about to end ... menopause, heaven forbid!!). But that is probably too obvious. This is a poem crafted with a light hand. In the end, ripeness is all. The full moon embodies every aspect of womanly qualities. She is the "real thing", the totality of all her earlier incarnations. She appears to be fixed and solid, not subject to mutability. Yet we know this is not the case, and possibly this is reassuring, because inertia is far too dull! The "changeling" is a magical being, slipped into the place of a mortal child; we need this magic as each month follows its course. We cannot be fooled except in an intellectual sense, for the heart understands change, growth and fulfillment. This is a most enjoyable and entertaining piece but, as always, there's a subtle message underpinning the imagery and obvious theme. Your writing is such a pleasure to read. All the Best, Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-09-29 00:09:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Dear Joanne, And finnaly, I get to a Joanne poem!!! I like very much what you are doing here with the phases of the moon. New moon wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep I love ther personfication here. I can really see her reaching down. I like also seeing pearls as little moons in the sea. Crescent moon slice pieces of night, cut silver slivers for ghost trees to devour. I like the idea you capture here that the moon can be hidden behind the scrawniest of trees. Silver slivers is a bit hard on my ear. Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight? The word play here is fun. First I think of fake cream and then Moon moodiness. Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin Coming into this section we still have the images of white--sheets in the wind--but now the moon is more domestic female. Full moon -- oh! Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases. As the title, hints this is fun. I always like your short or long lines but because you are bound to this waxing and waning structure. I have this aching desire for you to really "go off". Really meditate. It is not needed really but I do see that oppurtunity in this poem. I love oppertunity. Myself started to obbessed on who that darn Moon Goddess was found this website. I don't think any of these ladies is at all needed in your poem but I could resist sharing. http://www.eternal-moon.org/goddess.html
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-25 14:00:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
Hi, Joanne, I love this conversation with the phases of the moon! New moon wearing your veil [lovely image] to stir oyster beds,[why would wearing a veil stir oyster beds. A little unclear to me on the literal level] rouse your sea children from sleep. [ah, yes] Crescent moon slice pieces of night, [great] cut silver slivers for ghost trees to devour. Wonderful! It manages to be mystic and clever - no mean feat! Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight? very seductive, this moon! Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin Sheer lunacy![sorry - the devil made me do that ] Really I love that section Full moon -- oh! [yes! That exclamation captures the awe splendidly] Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases. Indeed! What a tease! Another fine astrological poem, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-19 21:33:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
Hi Joanne, This is truly entertaining! The comical side of you really radiates within the poem…and for me this is such a treat! Again, I found myself amazed by your appreciation to the beauty of the firmaments. :) “Lunar Spoofs” --- The title alone is a slice of humor! I like it! :) After I have reviewed and researched recently the “phase” and “cycle” of the moon because of my haiku “Tide”, your poem refreshes me again of this unique beauty that only emerge during nighttime. It is truly a wonder to revisit and to rekindle that moment. And to present it with light and jesting manner is just a fresh feeling. “New moon wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep.” --- I like the images portrayed here! I like the use of the enchanting word “veil” that covers the mystery of the moon…and the more it is hidden, the more it became mysterious. I can sense the effect of the sea and the tides at this phase…you immediately focused on the common effects of the moon to the body of waters of the Earth. Even in this faceless phase of the moon, the tempting beauty of it is truly undeniable! :) “Crescent moon slice pieces of night, cut silver slivers for ghost trees to devour.” --- I like the eerie imagery you pictured here! The “crescent” phase of the moon is my favorite part. It made you think that there is a unique shape orb hanging on the sky, knowing that it is only the reflection and angle between the moon and the sun that creates this “smiling” form - a “sinister smile” that haunts the darkness. I like the playful use of “silver slivers”, which adds a little wit to your poem. “Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight?” --- I like the questioning type of this stanza. How it automatically focused on the indecisive nature of the moon. How it reflects the character of human beings too (especially to women when it comes to “mood”). I hope you are not offended in any way. I am just speaking somehow in general. :) “Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin” --- Yes, the sheets are obviously a bit visible in this last-minute stop. Though not complete, the anticipation for a complete phase is very much felt. And to associate it with “sheets” during “a busy laundry” is very original! You sure know how to surprise your readers with your unique ideas and wittiness! :) “Full moon -- oh! Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases.” --- At first, I perceived these “changeling sisters” as the sparkling stars that continuously twinkles in the beauty of the night. But as the word “renounce” and the word “fooling us” and “put-on phases” were connectively used, I perceived these “changeling sisters” as the first four (4) described phases of the moon that for a moment exposed their “moods” unlike the “full moon” (I like your “oh” there) who reveals her whole true identity and face – unafraid and confident! Kudos on your fine work here Joanne! Again, another top-notch poetry for us to enjoy! I like how you distinctively identify each phase and mood of the moon and how it affects you as the “moongazer”. Inescapable imageries! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-09-11 00:03:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
I like the tone, the whimsy, the entire voice of this poem. Well done, Joanne. Good form breaking the moon down to its phases, a structure that worked out quite well...I like the slices of the crescent moon, the new moon's veil...all of it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-10 10:15:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Adorably phrased, each type of moon, significant of changes, not only in season, but human participation. I do believe you just managed to convey the full senses of how things change with the different season, the pull of the different moon on the movement of of the tides, that compell human charactistics to blend and move with the surges, the differences the moon place on human being, which are comprised of a great deal of water. Oh how closely, if we realized the effects the plants excercvise on us. Beautifully presented, allowing the feeling to come to the forefront of all the moons faces. Love it of course, anything cosmics you write of excites my senses. You never fail to get me in deep thoughts, this poem well constructed, laid out in defined patterns, does bring me to look at the moon during all these phases and become mesmerized by the strength and beauty of the cosmos, I can't blindly just accept the moon as just being there, all the moons bring thoughts to what preceded us, and understand it's always affected, pur moods, our health, and affords us strength, though a dead plant it excercises the life we experience. There I go again,m but I can't help but relate and write back how your poems affect my senses, this one does, and it's a joy to join in and read...because I'm always aware of the moon, and spend a lot of night hours wondering, as I see it in the sky, it certainly makes this reader think,My best always Joanne, Love, Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-09 17:23:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I really like this poem Joanne! It is clever, moves (flows?) along smoothly, the imagery is wonderful. I went back and re-read, trying to find a favorite line or stanza, and am stumped. In stanza 1, the imagery is mystical and i loved it. In stanza 2, the imagery is more concrete, but still magical. In stanza 3, the humor brought a light touch to the poem and a smile to my lips. In stanza 4 I was entranced with the thought of a solar system spin cycling moon and in stanza 5, the homor returns, the joy is felt and honestly, I was dissapointed the poem ended. I wouldn't change it but I would like to know if I'm correct in thinking that the next to last spin is equal to the next to last phase? Did I get it right? Thanks for a lovely read, Rene
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-09-08 22:34:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Yo Jo- Still dancing in the moonlight. She with the yellow galoshes and the old hoe. You see her one night, her nose quietly whistling, Ghosts dance to her tense exhalations, Stars light her way home.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-08 22:20:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Joanne, I really do love this poem about Luna who can be ever so fickle as you have poetically stated...."New moon" here she stirs oyster beds and rouses her sea children from their slumber. "Cresant moon"...slice pieces of night"...love this line, the minute I read the words I received the image and thought..."yes it does slice!"..."cuts silver slivers".. beautiful......"Half and half moon"...."make up your mind"....I love your humor here..gives a jaunty feeling about the moon...."Three quarter moon" ...here again you use humor to define this moon..."busy with laundry".. clever...then "Full moon"..."Renounce your changeling sister for fooling us with put-on phases." Perfect ending to the story you wove in such a masterful way. Loved it and glad I found it before it disappeared from my list! Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-08 08:51:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
my dear friend....with each moon effect you bring joy to one's heart ... New moon wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep. love the beauty presented with the New Moon.......as if playing a game of hide and seek, wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, sea children from their sleep.....how lovely ........and one can see the little sea children stiring as well....bless your heart..... over and over again your bring forth such wonderful feelings, images and encounters for as I stand on the deck outside my living room and gaze into the night sky I find the harvest moon with its haze of warmth around it and the golden shades that follow while the fireflies dance in the field and the little criters sit in the meadow fearing not a sound they hear......I long to dance some night under that harvest moon, perhaps naked in the open field just to feel one with nature again.......wow...better stop while I still have my clothes on ......lovely my friend, your words, the structure, the intense feelings presented and yes the joy felt within one's heart as well.....you never disappoint with your reads. Be safe and God Bless, Claire......bless you for posting and sharing this with us.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-09-04 11:00:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Joanne, From the title forward I was smiling. "Lunar Spoofs" indeed! You know I have always suspected the moon was having us on in phases, but the perfect poetic proof from your deft hand has lifted all of this above mere suspicion. New moon wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep. I love this image of a veiled moon playing covertly with the tides. Hiding like a child behind a tree not quite wide enough. How marvelously your verse, "gives the moon away". Crescent moon slice pieces of night, cut silver slivers for ghost trees to devour. I have this picture of a "left-handed moon" hanging in my writing room. Barely visible in the low contrast are these bare trees, hardly lit by this slice of a moon. (What with my being left-handed and all, I always viewed this "portrait" as the moon's evidentiary statement of left-handedness in the universe.) This verse so perfectly fits this picture, that I have printed it out and placed it under the frame, giving full credit you of course. I hope you approve. Half and half moon-- make up your mind-- are you in or out of the mood tonight? This one made me chuckle aloud. So many things came to mind. Is the moon half-full or half-empty? LOL! A half-moon has no mood other than what we contribute. And is it coming or going? You capture the vagueries of this astronomically noncommittal moment so aptly. Three-quarter moon busy with laundry, pinning up sheets rinsed in your next-to-last spin This one took some reflection. I had to close my eyes and picture a 3/4 moon. And then...I busted out laughing. OF COURSE! I could almost see the wind blowing the sheets. I love the reference to the "next to last spin". Full moon -- oh! Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases. I hadn't seen "changeling" used for so long that I had to look it up. Very interesting and exacting choice Joanne. Beyond mere fickle it seems that it also means, "A child secretly exchanged for another." How brilliant. How beautifully poetic. This verse put it all together in a ball, as it were. You always do this. It is as if the poems you write reveal themselves in phases, much like the moon, always coming full view into our conscious awares. Come clean Joanne. You aren't really from here, are you? Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2003-09-03 23:07:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joanne! You are not going to believe this, but I just wrote a poem about the moon and I used 'silver sliver' to describe its shape! Of course, my poem is not as good as yours! LOL I have a way to go before I can top yours! I like the way you take the moon through all its various phases...then let it shine in its full glory in its full phase! 'Renounce your changeling sisters for fooling us with put-on phases.', as if it was only tempting [spoofing] us with its partial fullness. I like this one! Beck
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