This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2003-09-08 18:23:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Lies and Vices

I took the smugglers’ highway for many a year it’s a road hidden well by trouble and fear; each dollar is earned through a paranoid sweat that’s why my money spends salty and wet. I sold my first nickel-bag back in Sunday school we all learned so young just how to be cool; the money was good but bad money can’t last 'cause money made easy is money spent fast.      Cocaine has a conscience, karma and voice, an alluring cash bonus but not a good choice, for on the smugglers highway it can cry out to cops and won’t remain silent during chance traffic stops. Always calling to you when left hanging around, paranoia’s way up but the profits are down. Always good to be popular and have lots of friends but coming over at three A.M. man, it just has to end. There’s no money in chiva, keeping it all for your stash, in just a few months, you’ll have lost all your cash. Funny how it takes every bit of your wealth,    to ruin and wreck every ounce of your health but heroin’s like that it must have it all  it lies little whispers and forever will call. Yea you will walk in the valley of doubt That ancient chiva bastard, won’t let you out. I drove the smugglers highway with south of the border herb, why is that against the law? A law that’s absurd. Uncle Sam pushes cigars, chew and cigarettes,  each kill thousands everyday but we’re not sick of it yet. Once on your deathbed and your life begins to drain don’t dare use marijuana to ease your nausea and pain.  Fight for right and what you believe, don’t tell me what to smoke, a war on drugs is a war on pot, now that’s a shameful little joke. A war on drugs starts with the drugs that kill the most each day, tobacco and alcohol are the very worst is what our doctors say. This war of lies is a financial drain, with no results at all, endless families are torn apart, how come we’re not appalled? When Sam speaks about dope he refuses to deal in facts as bad as booze and tobacco are, he’s still pocketing the tax. Locking up addicts is futile and is going on far too long; calling prisons industries of growth is plain and simply wrong!  The wasted billions of tax dollars thrown down the drain,   spend it on rehabilitation and ease these people’s pain.  Punishment has never worked, everyone has a vice, whisky and opiates are both alike, they kill and they entice. Alcohol’s made our roads unsafe and made good homes go bad, once we waged war on liquor and lost, the hypocrisy’s so sad. You can’t watch sports or have much fun without beer or alcohol, use something else you’ll go to jail, our government’s got some gall.    So I drove that smugglers highway for thirty-odd years, I drove it for friends whose stories move me to tears. Both over fifty, one has aids and one has cancers, as to what eases their pains I trust them for the answers. While the government denies them a great medicine; kind buds make the rounds from kind friend to kind friend. When it comes to liberties the sick and poor want some too, why is it such a fight for the freedoms denied me and you? Quit asking for our children’s lives in wars both far and near, don’t use the liberation lie when we’ve more problems here. As the soldiers come home when your dirty war is through  if they choose the wrong vice will you imprison them too? Quit wasting our dollars on some heartless cold jail, if you’d support these Americans then fewer would fail. All the souls that are lost keep bringing tears to my eyes for our own futures sake we must stop living these lies...                                                                                                       

Copyright © September 2003 Mark D. Kilburn


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-05 08:32:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56667
Mark first let me congratulate you on the winning poem last month it topped my list. Well done. Now for this poem you have given me a story of experience sometimes a little to much, yet I don't know if being vague helps either. Remember this is only this readers opinion. Example in your first stanza you might want to hit home sooner your point: traveled the smugglers’ highway for many a year roads hidden well by trouble and fear; each dollar a paranoid sweat money spent salty and wet. sold a nickel-bag back in Sunday school learned so young just how to be cool; money was good but bad money can’t last 'cause money made easy is money spent fast. (my favorite line in this stanza) Even though I showed a paired down version it is still to much for this reader to get to the most important lines the money was good but bad money can’t last 'cause money made easy is money spent fast. Always good to be popular and have lots of friends but coming over at three A.M. man, it just has to end. When it comes to liberties the sick and poor want some too, why is it such a fight for the freedoms denied me and you? All the souls that are lost keep bringing tears to my eyes for our own futures sake we must stop living these lies... These are a few of the thoughts that show me the thoughts you are expressing your poem gives me far to much to comprehend but that is only this simple minds opinion. I did like your poem for the power you show. I always give an honest opinion. Tom


This Poem was Critiqued By: Erica L. Badger On Date: 2003-10-04 11:53:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi, Mark! When I read this poem I felt like you had a lot of anger and feeling about this topic. The lines that say "I drove the smuggler's highway" threw me off a bit. (I think that's because I don't really know what the smuggler's highway is.) You know, I don't understand either why alcohol and cigarettes aren't against the law as well because they kill more than all other drugs. I think it would be better to help all the addicts rather than use our tax dollars to do something that won't make the problem any better. And kind of off the point of your poem, but I really liked the line "money made easy is money spent fast". I don't know if this is a well known saying or if you made it up, but I think it's so true. Thanks for sharing this. It's a good read that really gets you thinking! Sincerely, Erica
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-24 13:17:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.43750
Hi Mark, This is such an insightful and heartfelt piece that I don't know where to start. I do so agree with so much of what you have written and I have no idea what it would take to make people stop taking drugs, drinking and smoking. These things are like 'friends' to the people that use them and I think the users think they cannot function without them. I know people that have to drink at social events just to have a good time...personally I don't drink just because it makes me feel drunk...don't laugh it is true. However, it does not bother me to see other people drinking socially. I too wonder why the feds wont make marijuana legal for medicinal use...it is well documented that it helps cancer victims. The odd think it says right on the doctor's liscense that he can dispense it..so what is that all about? I have a grandson who is in this senseless war and my late husband was in Korea so I feel first hand very strongly on this isssue. You have addressed so many problems here and you have put it to perfect rhyme which I admire you for as that is not always easy to do. In the first stanza you state that you sold your 'first bag' in Sunday scholl so I can only assume that this poem is from your own experience. You have apprently licked all your demons and I admire you for that, as well. I enjoyed this read from beginning to end and thank you for posting it. Gives all of us something to think about. Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-10 16:38:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Wow Mark, what a strong statement (the truth be told) in poetic fashion combined with great sequence, and pretty measured cadence. Most I'm taken with the message, if it's written from a personal experience, it's a horrif way to have to live, you point out the money to be made, but money that isn't saved but rotated back in the drug culture. I don't believe I've ever read a poem so pointly honest, your truth are apparent. Yes, Uncle Sam slams this insideous habit, drugs do kill when used improperly, but so to does the Alcohol, I believe more insideous then drugs, for it is a liesure time activity, enjoyed and abused by many, when they get behind the wheel, so out and kill innocent victims, and is the punishment so great for what is classified as a manslaughter charge, for these people to be slapped on the wrist and allowed the freedom of society, where it goes overboard, the punishment for growing weed, throw them in jail, in some cases to serve outlandish unfair punishment. Hard drugs on the other hand are more threating, for they are used as liesure drugs, and many people suffer death because these drugs control their existence. In a way it affords the opportunity, the same as hiding and avoidance, and once it controls in puts many in jeopardy. Pot on the other hand would afford relief to many in abject pain, where as the acceptable is the drugs by the medical community, where as smoking a joint affords a relief much prefered I belief, but it's denied the War on drugs you know. We are so screqwed up in society, the people in charge misise their power to seek their aims, not in the mode of what the public may need to here. They use our money, yet take money from lobbyist, that literally screws the public. Yes, you poem speaks the truth, but we'll never be afforded, the intent of whats good for the public, we live in a convoluted conception society, ruled, rather then ruling, for many times the will of the people is thrown aside to favor some political whim, it's really a system that needs to look at the truth, but how can people know whn they adsorb being constantly lied to, and fed bunk. I better get away from this it's making me angry, and my rethoric may just come through, for I do believe we've been lied to for so long, the public believes the lies now, convoluted it really is. Anyway, the poem speaks the truth, from a first person point of view, and it's presentation is excellent, it'sa strong state, worthy of merit, I appreciate this opportunity to comment. I guess a part of Hippy outspokeness remains in these old old bones. I do think this is a great submission, enjoy to read and partake it. Great rhyming sequences Mark, that's for sure, My best always, Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-09 07:59:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good morning Mark: This piece speaks such truths indeed it makes one stop, read more then once and hopefully listen to the messages within the lines.......alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, from a very young age many are involved and it stays during life and to break away is most difficult for those that have the hold do not want to let go and allow anyone to breathe life as it should be. I know I started smoking cigarettes at age 17 and it was only to impress this boy with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair.....of course one date did not lead to two but one cigarette certainly did since the next young man smoked just as much. I wish I never took that first puff for it was with me most of my life.....of course no one does twist your hand when you light up a cigarette like some might do when you smoke a joint or take a different kind of dope that holds on and strangles you at the same time......Deep sadness does run in families for many of these vices .....your structure is good, you tell it like it is and your words flow like the river it is meant to be.....perhaps for some a river of tears, a river of lost souls, a river of despair, and to someperhaps a river of hope knowing when one reaches the bottom there is no other place to go except up and out.....I stopped smoking three years ago during life flight and after open heart surgery knowing in my heart God loved me and was giving me a second change at life and I was not to slap God in the face by lighting one cigarette ever again..............I did see others go outside after such surgery and lite up and my heart broke for them for they would be back within these walls sooner then naught. The pain, aggravation and sorrow to their family would intensify in the months and years to follow.....our soldiers returning home might have taken up a few bad vices while over seas...I know my first husband came home smoking marijuana and he does so to this day though he does not look well these days either. We are in contact once in awhile as he values my opinions I guess.....once loved it is hard to let go. I know we talked more then once about his smoking this drug and he indicated it did ot harm him.....already caught in the trap I guess. He also drank which added to the fuel damaging his body. By watching their dad though none of my children smoke drugs or regular cigarettes. That is a plus for them. I believe our government has failed to help the men and women that have given of their time and life to fight for a freedom which we still are looking for. We are American's, we live in the land of the free, but are we honestly free like we think we are? Only each one of us can answer that question honestly if we choose to do so. You be safe my friend, this one must have taken much food for thought on your part, perhaps you have lived some of it, perhaps not either way it is worthy of praise and should be posted for others to see. Take care, be safe and may God continue to Bless you and yours, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-09-09 02:49:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The poem is very significant to all of us for it gives awareness and teaches us to live in simple way without indulging into these vices and lies. The practicality of the ideas are very remarkable. I made me remember my childhood days that my parents were always counselling me and teaching the right virtues and attitudes in life. The future is very elusive that is why we need to have good attitudes struggle and triumph in the end. The poem is reinforced by the use of rhymes in every two lines and they perfectly runs till the end. The idea of selling a nickel-bag is essentially apt here: "I sold my first nickel-bag back in Sunday school". It's a good way of starting the thoughts of vices and lies begginning in small things of during the childhood days then going to the older days. The idea is practically true especially here: the money was good but bad money can’t last 'cause money made easy is money spent fast. Money is a means to a better living but it is spent in bad ways then it could be the source of ruin in our lives. The use of proper noun here "Uncle Sam" -Uncle Sam pushes cigars, chew and cigarettes, - suggests origninality. And it is a good point. I like the use of imerative here: "Fight for right and what you believe, don’t tell me what to smoke, a war on drugs is a war on pot, now that’s a shameful little joke." - because it invites the readers to participate on the idea. It creates an impact. You use some of nice assonance like "government’s got some gall" -the sound of 'g' is nice. Just a little comment on this line: Alcohol’s made our roads unsafe and made good homes go bad, -i think the apostrophy is not necessary. Mark, you made it all. It takes wisdom to come up with this great poem. Everyone should consider this as a guide to better living. Thanks. Jordan
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