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This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-10 07:55:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Silhouette

Gnarly twisted tree Bent not broken as storms pass Showing your wisdom

Additional Notes:
Putting one back - don't panic, I can only do 2/day (lol)!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 09:16:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
I see the roots on this one Andrea in your first line or could it be the life twisted in various directions? I see the strength of the tree in the second yet maybe the downpours have passed and no longer the tears. Finally the wisdom gained by making it through lifes challenges. This is what I saw. Well done Haiku format you have kept the meter and have delivered the thought. No suggestions for a job well done. I lied maybe the title, seems so obscure. Just a thought but again really an excellent piece. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dan D Lavigne On Date: 2003-09-30 08:39:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Wonderful description. Reminds of my Grandfather who raised me. His body was aged beyound his years. "Gnarly twisted tree" Very nice use of sound contrast between the softness of the "N" and the sharpness of the "T"'s "Bent not broken as storms pass" Out lasting the trials and enduring lifes cycle. "Showing your wisdom" Nice complement to the whole piece. Summing it all up to a nice ending. Very nice 5-7-5 cadence Solid Haiku with substance. Thank you, Dan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-26 00:13:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Hi Andrea, There is depth in your words here Andrea. When storms pass like the recent “Isabel”, it is expected that trees and other structures are destroyed, broken or bent. Now, that the imagery you picture here is more on the “twisted and bent” and not totally broken, you immediately turn to your humble praise and thanksgiving of God’s wisdom. For me, the “showing your wisdom” line symbolizes His mercy and compassion. It also shows His perfect will to everything. Kudos on your fine work here Andrea! Again, you grace the site with your profound yet entertaining craft. Truly, this is an inspiring poem that keeps reader ponder in God’s unique character and plan. I just hope I interpret this right and appropriately. “Silhouette” is a nice title that reflects God’s mysterious ways. Another excellent! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-09-24 20:57:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Andrea, You open iwth a nice image. We have seen this tree before but what will you do with it. The next line or thought has been examined many times? What else could you say that would show us the tree's wisdon and let us see the world anew? Thanks so much, Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-15 18:50:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Well it appears to me that others are doing more then two a day but if that is all it takes to make you happy and content then please do so......as with all of your work my friend you have this one down to a "T" as well 5-7-5 format.......most trees that bend and do not break are indeed most fortunate as the years have been good to them as well....allowing the spring in their trunk to react in kind...hehehe kinda like us humans as well......we twist, turn, bend and for some that fall break as with a storm that passes in the night.....but in this case your tree has stood the test of time and remained tall not only in stature but in wisdom as well......interesting version I would say....perhaps way off line but it works for me.....thanks for posting, be safe and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-12 15:16:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
I love this one! The form is met for a Haiku but due to the subject I thought it might be a Serenyu (I don't know how to spell it. Sorry!) The nature image is presented so the reader can see the tree in his/her mind, the spower of the storms implied by that image, and the twist in the third line was a surprise to me, but seems as if I should have expected it. I am reminded of a poem whose title and poet I can't remember about reeds in a stream or lake edge that survive when the great Oak falls. That image has been with me most of my life as a real teaching about life, and to me this poem is surving the same purpose. Thanks Andrea. Rene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-09-10 10:02:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
love the beginning...."gnarly" is such a textured word! I envision the pines along the California coast that cling to the cliffside...."bent not broken" very true I think more of perseverance shown than wisdom as regards the tree itself, but wisdom to cling to the rock...the very foundaton stone of Christ I can see as metaphor.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-10 09:16:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
LReally like the "Gnarly" descriptive of the first line, automatically brings to mind, aged, a tree that has withstood all the trials and ravements of weathering storm, which is upheld in the second line, stating the intention of thought, which we know leads to wisdom by experiences, as can be applied to humans also, so I find the thought profound, allowing the reader to think about what it takes in the process of aging. Very nice haiku. Hi Andrea, nice haiku, Western style, meets the count, nice use of descriptives, upholding your intent. Glad to see the resubmission, gives me a chance this time to comment, although I have to try and type with one ey closed, really having trouble focusing on the lines as I read, but this haiku being short makes it easier on the old cockeyed eyes, ha ha. Keep it up, you have the measure pat, and have the right to post two a day, if you can afford it, it would seem to get to be a bit expensive though. The sicussion is past now, you know and understand, we all learn every day Andrea, and even though you, or I may think something is just fine, it may not have the appeal for everyone, sp sometimes what others suggest gives us the opportunity to see it from a differnt angle, I always take to heart the suggestions made, and visual their concept, and lots of times it makes darn good sense. Part of the understanding process, we all learn every day, regardless of how old we get, we have to be open to learning. Even Masters worked at perfection, and took to heart what the general concensious was. We just learn, thats all one has to go accept the recommendations and see if they apply. We leave in a varied world when things affect some differently, but we have to respect that they are just tryibng to help. I think you understand that concept, and that's good. You keep reaching girl those sunbeams are there for you also...My best regards, affectionately, Jo Morgan

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