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This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-12 09:38:02 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Allegiance

Eagle of the sky Taking wing with might and grace Freedom to embrace

Additional Notes:
In memory of the victims of 9/11.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-10-01 18:11:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34615
A patriotic haiku...only suggestion consider strengthing first line...words like "of" and "the" add no weight and in a Haiku you want to avoid too many of these not add much punch words. Eagle of the sky----perhaps, eagle framed in sky, etc. Taking wing with might and grace------really like the might, grace Freedom to embrace ------even though rhyme is not the thing in haiku, it punctuates here

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-26 00:14:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Hi Andrea, Another timely topic that focused on the 9/11 event! I like how you concentrate on the heroism part of 9/11 and not the tragic part of it. You allow your readers to see the good and unforgettable things that can spur even in the lowest and the worst moment of our times. “Eagle in the sky” --- For the third time I have read “eagle” in associate to the planes. Truly this is an emblem of America’s freedom. This only shows how people of America and the world recognized its importance. “Taking wing with might and grace” --- This symbolized the heroic action made by the passenger of the fourth plane. Yes, there was still a great accident that happened there but we cannot deny the victory of courage and selfless act that envelope that moment. Truly an inspiring testimony to tell the world! “Freedom to embrace” --- The most striking part of the poem! This emphasized that what matter most is “freedom”. Kudos on your fine work here Andrea! “Allegiance” is a wonderful dedication to those heroes (passengers, firemen, the Mayor, the President, the policemen, the citizen of New York) we can be proud of. Thanks for posting this in TPL. Inspiring! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-25 14:20:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Really nice Andrea enjoy these Haiku forms. Your first line if I understand correctly is giving me the tower reaching the sky, if that is the case would it be better to say eagles. We must all remember that take and give our allegiance for this was the sadest day in American History. Which president was it that said we only have to worry from within our shores (was it Jefferson). You have kept the structure and the thought is expressed. Thanks for sharing. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-14 08:35:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Lovely tribute to all the victims of 9/11 Andrea and the image of the Eagle in flight with its wings expanded out in true form graciously floating in the sky above with grace and beauty.....the flare of your pen has created such a majestic image....you have the 5-7-5 in perfect form as well. Thank you for sharing this with us and for remembering the victims and the families as well of 9/11. For those of us who had friends within the walls as they crumbled I thank you. Be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-13 10:14:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Andrea! A soaring eagle…….absolutely befitting. An eagle would symbolize strength as well as grace. It represents victory, determination and resolve. Given its huge wing span you liken its flight with an embrace of the sky (which, over here, represents freedom). And Sept 11th, with all its unacceptable, unforgivable misery, did play out into a new found impetus of determination and resolve to conquer the perpetrators of the crime, not only immediate such as Bin Laden, but also the many other beasts who plot to kill and terrorise, the world over. The victims souls’ steered this new dawn of delivering our world into the hands of peace and they together make up that eagle, that promise to prevail good over evil. Let us not forget the families of the immediate victims- they are victims too. They make up they represent the eagle you speak of and every peace loving individual around the world who not only condemns terror, but fights it by living as an example. Peace, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2003-09-13 05:25:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Andrea, good to see you posting. This haiku is true to standard form, line count of three and syllabic count of 5-7-5 and it is titled, which is not the standard for haiku...the fact that most are not titled always amazed me; I suppose the desire is for the poem to draw introspection, causing the reader to identify with the theme and thus name it in their minds with what they draw from its meaning. I think that you have captured what most hearts felt after the attacks of 9-11, an allegiance to the freedom that we share in our country and your use of the 'Eagle' as symbolic of our country and the freedom that we embrace is apt. I have one suggestion that, perhaps, would give this poem a powerful 'double meaning,' which is hard to do in the restricted form of haiku [so much to say, with so little structure allowed]...it is only a suggestion: 'Eagle of the sky soaring wing of might and grace freedom to embrace'.....the use of the word 'soaring' would allow it to be an action word [verb] for the 'Eagle,' as it soars high in the skies symbolice of our freedom, and also an adjective for the 'wing of might and grace,' its wing of might and grace, something that one could hold to as one embraces the freedoms we embrace....just a thought. You theme is presented in a clear, moving manner...long may the Eagle soar in the skies over our land of freedom! Thanks for the read, Beck

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-12 12:32:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Andrea, This is a wonderful haiku...you filled all the requirements. Keep in mind I am new to the art of haiku but I do believe this is one of the best ones I have read so far. I has a beautiful message..keep writing! Bblessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-09-12 10:38:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Andrea, these keep getting better and better. I really enjoy the imagery in this poem as well as the symbolism of the eagle taking flight to embrace freedom. Keep writing and keep posting. This is a very moving tribute. Sandra

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