This Poem was Submitted By: Erica L. Badger On Date: 2003-09-13 13:20:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

The Complications of Life

The complications of life  Are threatening my childish soul. I feel it every day. It's creating a massive hole. It's taking away my innocence And feeding me with adulthood. I'm seeing the world we cherish  In a way I never thought I would. I see hatred, revenge and blame, Making peace harder to restore. People live with the complications of mankind Until living itself becomes a chore. Jealousy, greed and anger Have risen hand in hand. Then sentimental value's forfeited Creating a barren wasteland. Punishment is dealt without mercy, Yet the guilty tend to run free. Now the wrong action is taken  When eye to eye we cannot see. It's terrible to see so much bad And I struggle, at times, to find good. Growing up is changing my outlook Of the world I thought I understood. Now you can only find  Confusion breeding in that hole Where once a loving heart had lived, Completing this young soul.
Copyright © September 2003 Erica L. Badger

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-01 17:41:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
I really like this Erica yet the flow seems to make me halt at times. I will give you a few examples of what I am talking about but remember this is only one readers opinion. complications of life threatening this childish soul feeling it every day creating a massive hole taking away innocence feeding me adulthood seeing the world we cherish never thought I would see hatred, revenge, and blame Making peace, harder to restore People live with complications, of mankind When living itself, a chore Remember this is probably not the answer but only suggestions. Your last stanza is great I like it and wouldn't change the wording. Most everyone here knows my view about punctuation but again it is only this readers preference. I use to use punctuation at the end of lines about six years ago and a poet at another site who was published told me that it is assumed at the end of each line a pause and if you use comma's and periods you get a double pause with the delivery. Just a thought. Sometimes the punctuation is needed when you want to force a point but not always. Thanks for sharing. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-01 17:25:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.08333
It is a rude awakening isn't it. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Growing up is hard. It is even harder for you then it was for me because the world has changed so much over the years. Sometimes I so wish we could go back about 50 years ago to a simpler time when it seemed easier to tell right from wrong. There was not the crazy yammering and arguing that goes on now. It was just common sense stuff back then. People were polite to others. There was no such thing as road rage.... Sorry I kind of got carried away for a sec. I like your lament about growing up and maturing. I know what you mean. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to stay a child. Although anymore even that is way more complicated then it used to be. Being an adult is very confusing even for us older olders. The world is changing at a tremendous rate. I do alot of praying that your generation will be able to find some semblence of truth and goodness in this world today. Thanks for sharing this piece. The B/D rhyme scheme doesn't seem forced at all. Your meter is not even but it doesn't really seem to take anything away from the poem. You did a nice job with this. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-17 17:20:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58824
Welcome Erica to the link and I am pleased to have found your work on my posting.....first of all I critique from my heart and respond in kind....if you are seeking helpful hints such as those Brenda or others might be more capable of giving I am sorry I do not have that touch but I will tell you how your poem makes me feel inside. First of all I like the way you strucutred it, easy to read and the word flow keeps the reading moving along. You have a good rhyme scheme to this also which allows the reader to feel and see what is being set forth in your words......it seems to me that you are being slapped in your face with the way the world has been for some time now only in full force with the fear, hatred, destruction, war, famine, death, sickness, all of it and yes my dear it does make a hole in our heart and tears us apart......though as we grow we tend to learn that life does have its ups and downs and there are times when the down just does not seem to want to leave....those are the very hard and most difficult times. These past months have been hard in the my son in law was sent overseas....though a job he wanted to do and he served so well for my daughter and the rest of us left behind it was not easy to let go. Still, he has now returned and there are many more still overseas and they are not any safer today then they were when my son in law was there.....that is a part of life that to me is very difficult to not only take but to try and understand....your poem deals with every aspect of adult like.......each stanza stands out on its own for its worthy cause.....its not difficult to see that confusion would breed in that whole created by growing up. You have much to offer with your emotions and feelings and though I have no clue as to your age I feel you have been writing for some time.....please continue to post here at the link and share your knowledge with us. It is so important to put on those words when they do come to us......I thank you for sharing this with us, for the emotions it sets forth and the thoughts as well. Be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-17 11:01:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57895
Hi Erica, "The complications of life" an apt title to a poem that outlines the difficulty in becoming an adult. Welcome to TPL..hope you like us! I cannot tell your age from the piece..."childish soul" but you may be older than a child and are eluding to your naivety other than your age. I have joined the ranks of the 'seniors' but have always been somewhat naive. It was a shock to me as a young person when someone was cruel or something bad happened to a good person. I soon found out that the world is not a bowl of cherries...."Its creating a massive hole" this is such a true statement...."Its taking away my innocence and feeding me adulthood" I especially like this line....'hatred, rage, and blame...until living itself becomes a chore'...'jelousy, greed and anger...creating a barren wasteland.' Such sad words for a young person to learn....'yet the guilty tend to run free' I never unstood this either and it happens everyday in every walk of life....'growing up is changing my outlook'..I hate to see this in anyone to be hit in the face with reality never to return to that innocent state of mind. This poem has a lot of merit and you should continue to write as I feel you have a lot to say. BLessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-14 13:43:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.10000
What a wonderful poem of transition from youth to maturity this is! The poem is rhymed and sometimes metered, and moves well from start of the message to the end. The obvious facts of "life is unfair" are well presented and se see the development of the poet or poet's subject as she comes to realize "what is" instead of what we think "should be." I like the honesty of this poem. I would suggest that, "When eye to eye we cannot see." might be re-written to sound more natural. Perhaps the word "agree" would work in the rhyme scheme. I hope this young writer keeps on writing! Rene Fraley
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-13 23:17:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Erica! Rhyme has always been my favorite form of poetry and it is the most preferred way of transforming poems into songs- (have you attempted putting a tune to this?) This one speaks of the complications of life – the new looking glasses one wears through the course of growing up. I believe you are a very young person approaching the stages of adulthood – a person now coming to terms with jealousies, greed and anger, hatred, revenge and blame. The poem accounts for this realization- life is not a playground (I wish it was) and the darker realities seem to surface as we naturally move away from the gardens of innocence. Life seems confusing. It would. The unexpected confronts the soft heart with confusion. Where is all the love and calm of childhood, we ask ourselves? The advent of confusion is a reality. We have grown up. The soul has been gnawed into. The emotions you wish to bring forth through the poem, do speak loud and clear. Well done on that front. As you continue to write and grow as a poet, you might want to look at a few more things. Since this is rhyme, and assuming you enjoy this form as much as I do, we must always make sure that our rhymes don’t seem too forced (and this piece of advice is for myself as well!!). (soul-hole: free-see, etc). It is obviously unavoidable sometimes but we are always at liberty to balance the forced rhyme with slant rhyme. For example –‘soul – road , enough – shove, etc. This was nice, Erica. You have expressed your emotions vividly and conveyed to us, your feelings in keeping with your chosen theme. That is most important in poetry writing. I hope to read more in the future. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: C Arrownut On Date: 2003-09-13 17:45:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Erica, I enjoyed your poem and could definitely relate to it. Basically, I was pretty sheltered until my divorce. After that, I felt shocked by a lot of things I had heard about, but had never seen. That passed after about five years. Now it's just lately the shock has started up again. As for your style, I like the rhyme, but thought it a little repetitious, perhaps just varying in one or two stanzas might help. Also, I think the title could function as the first line, rather than repeating. Or you might just see if you could vary one word in the first line. Overall, I thought it a good write and an excellent read. Thanks for sharing it. I could remember some old times through it. Does us oldsters good to be reminded that youth wasn't always as great as we'd like to think. Thanks again.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!