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This Poem was Submitted By: Callie Cothren On Date: 2003-09-14 14:58:08 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Glorious Day

The rising sun beams its light through the leafless trees Casting long shadows on an earth still damp with dew. The day awakens with the promise of great beauty While the stars of night fade slowly from the sky. The sun climbs higher chasing away the shadows Giving warmth to the wind that gently moves the trees. The day moves slowly through its hours As the sun sails across a clouding sky. At day's end the sun disappears slowly into darkness Painting the sky with brush strokes of purple, pink and blue. The sun leaves us with darkness and her promise To return in all her glory when a new day begins.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-10-05 16:33:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80645
What a glorious day I have today after reading your poem, Callie! I think this is my first time to critique your artistry so I am full of excitement. Your title, "A Glorious Day", is enticing! What makes it a glorious day! I can think of the blessings you received and all the dreams that are fullfilled that day! I can even think of the spiritual attention like the Glorious Mysterious! Just cropped in my mind because of the gravity of excitement it gives to this reader! The rising sun beams its light through the leafless trees Your first input gives a glaring imagery. I almost bring myself in the scene where I am the focus of the spotlight in a hot concert! I am wondering the significance of chosing the leafless tree! It seems to suggest barren/maybe poverty! Well, maybe, I can think you are pointing out that even in the midst of scarcity, there still glow a glorious day! Great! A little comment, why not simplifying "sun beams" into a compund word "sunbeams". Just a thought! Casting long shadows on an earth still damp with dew. -'d' sound makes a nice alliteration! It's really a wonderdul wonderful cockcrow when you describe: The day awakens with the promise of great beauty The use of personification reinforces the idea of a glorious day. I especially like the energetic personification of the sun here: The sun climbs higher chasing away the shadow It's very enegetic, playful, suggesting a fresh and youthful heyday! I am basking with splendid colors here: At day's end the sun disappears slowly into darkness Painting the sky with brush strokes of purple, pink and blue. I just love to see what it imagery it vividly paints! And you just ended the poem promisingly! I hope to have that kind of day all the days of my life amidst the odds! Thank you so much for sharing this very enlivening piece! Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-05 15:48:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Nice visual in first two lines and the presentation of dawn is shown so well in the next two lines. I see the progression of daytime then to dusk and evening to await another day. Words are descriptive and your thoughts are clear to the reader. The only suggestion that I have is in regards to the title for I see multiple days not just one. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing a well crafted poem. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-09-28 22:37:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.09091
Callie, I like the way this is A day in the life of a sun. Very nice. From sunup to sundown this poem is full of imagry. You start with the sun shining through the trees at the beginning of the day. I like the way the sun "BEAMS" its light through the trees. I can picture that it is late autumn. "an earth still damp with dew" sounds like the light is glistening on the dew drenched earth. The idea of watching the stars fade from the sky is very appealing. Also the idea that the sun chases away shadows gives it human characteristics. I can feel the warm breeze on my face. I can see the sun like a little sail boat with this little sail made of clouds helping it to fly.lol and the sunset of course. I love sunsets the best. I have a jillion pictures of sunsets. Thanks for this lovely piece that kept my interest to the end. I have no suggestions for improvment. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-18 09:22:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.16667
Callie, I like this outburst of joy for a new day. It is very refreshing and upbeat as it reminds us that each new day brings its own special events. I would suggest dropping the punctuaton at the end of each sentence and set these lines to read outloud. This is something that I was taught just recently as well. I now appreciate the value of this advise more and more. I think the "Painting...blue" line could read a little smoother, if perhaps it was more like "Brushing the sky with strokes of purple..." or something like that. You may want to consider replacing the words slowly and darkness with other images. This is only this reader's thoughts. It is a happy and hopeful piece. I love the last two lines...tomorrow's promise is a great thought to end a day with. Thanks for a sunshine break. Andrea

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-17 09:25:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi, Even though this poem spins an entire rotation, from darkness to light and back again to darkness, it would be a mistake to pin the poem’s central theme on the changing phases of time. Hence, it wasn’t the poet’s intention to depict (through words) an appearing and a disappearing sun, but the PROMISE OF A NEW DAY. The poem might even symbolize hope and continuity. The poem flowed well from start to finish and the end, in particular, wasn’t something that could be cowed down by the full- stop sticking behind it. Instead, it did give the reader a sense of more to come ( a new sunrise). I would even go to the extent of asking you to leave this sentence open in keeping with the message of the poem. The depiction, by way of imagery, was simple yet effective in conveying the smooth transition. Heavy imagery might very well have made the read cumbersome, no matter how brilliant. I thought of the story of Christ for amoment. Was this also an angle through which you chose to write the poem. I guess not because Christ left the world, not with darkness, but light and of course – a promise to return. Good job!

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-14 20:07:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Dear Callie, Welcome to TPL we are happy to have you. I am very fond of poetry about nature and find myself writing poems with that theme. One reason why I like this piece is that it has a positive theme..literally paints a happy and "rosy" picture of the earth from sun-up to sun-down. We poets have a tendancy to write about sad or morose events that carry with them a lot of emotion and pathos...I am among the poets that do this! So it is so refreshing to see a poem written, that reminds us of the beauty of where we live and what a precious gift that is. In this time of war, doom, and gloom, we tend to forget how fortunate we really are, and your poem tells us to stop and see the beauty of it all. You have written with great imagery which puts the reader where they need to be to see the wonders of sun-up and sun-down...a lovely sight which we should never take lightly. Good job...keep writing. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gwenne D. Betner On Date: 2003-09-14 19:28:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thank you Callie for sharing such a lovely poem. Simple yet intricate. By simple I mean you have taken a 24-hour period and managed to narrow it down to 12 sentences. Intricate because you were able to capture separate moments of the day that can have great impact on ones soul. "Casting long shadows on an earth still damp with dew" I love this line. I have awoken some mornings and wanted to right about them but I could not form the right words that capture it. This Line truly captures your morning. "Painting the sky with brush strokes of purple, pink and blue". I often look at the sky and think it is a canvas as well. Very nice ending to your Glorious Day! I thought at first perhaps it might do well if your poem was broken into stanzas. But no, I am wrong it works just the way it is. I can feel your Glorious Day. Good job poet.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-14 15:51:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Welcome Callie this is a first of your poems I have been able to read and I must say you certainly do paint a lovely picture with the flare of your pen......A Glorious Day is a befiting title for this one indeed......from beginning to end it certainly allows one to take in all the glory of a day filled with warmth, sunshine, beauty and the fading sunset with its lovely shades of purple. pink and blue....... The sun climbs higher chasing away the shadows Giving warmth to the wind that gently moves the trees. I particularly enjoyed the above two lines and the warmth to the wind that gently moves the trees......lovely feeling and lovely motion as well....and in closing the painting of the setting sun does indeed give promise of yet another day filled with beauty to come in the morning light. Thank you for posting this fine piece and sharing the feelings associated with beauty of God's creation. Be safe, God Bless, Claire

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