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This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-16 11:38:47 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The SWAG Method

Are man and beast, one in the same? If gestation’s allowed, you’re given a name At what point does a child emerge? Does it depend on the sake of the urge? Science is the origin of this query Is a zygote a human life or merely theory? The argument based on when life is viable Offers the option of when to be liable A blueprint is a blueprint, to build what end, Consequence or genetics is a message we send Damn Hilter’s desire for the perfect race, But, abortion can give it dignity and grace Life can be started in a sterile dish Fulfilling a heartache’s dearest wish Life can be stolen from the womb Discarded away in a hazardous tomb An educated mind draws this conclusion, So what of faith makes the confusion? Is life really to become a metaphor As justification for the life we bore? It is not religion that dictates this strife, But, tolerance, greed or apathy towards life It’s not politics, Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, We all suffer the loss of one tiny voice Why is it when it begins that is suspected? All life has real value when it's respected America’s children are dying to defend this, On foreign lands and in the surgical abyss I shall grieve each loss as it will unfold, With a hero’s recognition or the stories untold

Additional Notes:
The SWAG Method is a term used for making a "scientific wild ass guess".

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-05 15:57:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Excellent questions to begin this poem. You have given me food for thought and that is what poetry is all about making your reader think. You have created a freeform poem that is presented evenly. The question I see that runs throughout your poem is life, What is it all about? What is exceptable in how we deal with the life of others? Words used help to put stregth to the questions. Outstanding and this is the type of poetry this reader likes. Well done Andrea.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-10-01 08:03:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36667
This poem has good flow, the language is mature and it certainly asks more questions than it proposes answers. The treatment of life as simply a biological happening with no spiritual content is puzzling to me, and I'm glad the poem addresses this question. The poet clearly states her position, which is a brave thing to do. I wondered about one line, "Why is it when it begins that is suspected?" Is "it" missing here, (after "that"), or have I missread the meaning? A brave poem, and one I shall re-read. Rene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-19 09:13:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55000
Science or not my friend I feel you already know my feelings on abortion and the sadness it brings to the heart and the soul.......whether it be a young teenage girl having had her fun and now caught in the web of life or the young working woman who did not plan on this taking place now but perhaps later in her life......over and over one excuse or another might find one ready to destroy the life the Lord has given unto thee yet to me life begins at that prescious moment when indeed it began in thee.....as stated before your pain still shines through......in order for you to let it go please know you have been forgiven by the One who died to set you free.......your work shall now touch the heart and soul of many others in need of hearing your message and they will respond in kind as well. This has been strucutred very well and even though the words seem to ring out at times and that is a good thing for they keep the reader going to find the more meaning of this message......they also bring forth images which grab and hold......you are taking not only the unborn child but the already formed and living child and putting the two together as instruments of death in different circumstances....at least this is also a part of the larger picture I am receiving...in war times children are used as instruments in foreign countries....there is also the famine and sickness which ravage these countries taking such young lives. Again my friend you are filled with many words that are just waiting to escape your heart so I look forward to your next piece. Be safe and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gwenne D. Betner On Date: 2003-09-18 14:29:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Dear Andrea, This grand piece of work is magnificent! It is intelligent and introspective. You should feel amazingly proud and accomplished. I love your questions peppered throughout the poem, it constantly gives the reader pause. Everyone should be seeking answers to these questions. The beginning of your poem hooked me, your queries were thought provoking and genuine. The entire poem folded together effectively; to me it was impeccably rhymed and metered. My absolute favorite line is “We all suffer the loss of one tiny voice” it gave me chills up and down my spine. I have not read such a crafty, analytical, well-written piece of work in a long time. It truly is superb through and through. You have found your calling. Thank you for sharing. Peace - Gwenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Judy A Badger On Date: 2003-09-18 14:22:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Wow, Andrea, this is some piece in both the topic being discussed and the messages being sent, as well as the questions it forces me to ask and seek answers to! I thoroughly enjoy poetry that makes one think. And I love rhyme. You do both of these things well here. Just two little notes: last line, should the word 'or' be 'of'? Could be just a typo, but {of} makes more sense to me. And lastly, third stanza, lines 3 and 4, the rhyme sounds very forced, doesn't just flow like the rest. (For me anyway.) And I'm not fond of the words 'hazardous tomb'. They don't suit the rest of the piece. This is only my own lowly opinion. Nothing more. Just food for thought (maybe!) Anyway, I liked it and the things it made me think about. Good work. (The SWAG Method is EXCELLENT! Love it!) Judy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen A. Morris On Date: 2003-09-18 09:15:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hi Andrea, my this subject has sure gotten a lot of attention on this web site lately. Not sure how this happens so much. Anyway for your poem. In a lot of your lines, the rhyme is good. The problem I had was that some of the rhythm in the lines didn't quite work for me because there seemed to be too many syllables in the line. Let me see if I can give you an example. Now the first stanza goes very well in terms of rhythm. The first problem for me was in the second stanza with the word "consequence." If you notice in the lines before it, the first couple words only have 1 or 2 syllables. Then suddenly at the beginning of a line you use consequence and follow it up with genetics (also a lot of syllables). I read the poems out loud to see if there's any place my words do not come out smoothly. and it was fine in your poem until that line. Then after that there's a few words too where my tongue got in the way of speaking the poem. I'm not sure if I'm being clear. Hope so. Do you read your poems aloud to hear how it sounds? I'm not good at this, but when I think I'm finished. I read the poem into a tape recorder. Then replay it. Gosh, most of the time mine sound awful, so don't think I'm pointing the finger. I was trying to think of a substitute for consequence, but right off I can't think of one. In the first stanza the rhythm and rhyme go so well. I never noticed that emerge and urge rhyme before and thought that an excellent pairing. Well think I've said enough. Good Luck and Keep writing. Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-09-16 19:46:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.20000
Bless you, Andrea. And thank you. SWAG method indeed! Thats ingenious and so is this poem. Does it depend on the sake of the urge?---This is such a perfectly crafted question. Damn Hilter’s desire for the perfect race, But, abortion can give it dignity and grace---what an amazing insight that is. Makes the reader ponder the idea of the abused becoming the abuser. An educated mind draws this conclusion, So what of faith makes the confusion?-----another thought inspiring question. We all suffer the loss of one tiny voice----It's not politics or religion that dictates WHEN it becomes a baby. But science has proven it's at conception that life begins. Thanks for this well thought out poem. I applaud your honesty and courage to tackle this subject with such clarity. The six line stanza's with A/B, C/D, E/F rhyme scheme reads nicely and your rhymes do not seem forced at all. Your meter could be evened up very easily and even though it is slightly off this flows well. One suggestion I do have is to change the first line to read "one {and} the same" Also the first line of the last stanza reads a little rough. I'd omit the 1st "it" so it reads: "Why is when it begins that is suspected?". That seems much smoother. These two minute problems easily disapear in this noble sea of reason. Thanks for defending life. Jennifer

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