This Poem was Submitted By: Judy A Badger On Date: 2003-09-18 02:41:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Grand Dancing, impish eyes,
Her sparkling chin alive
With the glistening dewdrops
Of newly formed speech,
She presents one dog-eared daisy
From tiny fists clenched tightly
And mixed with Tootsie roll.
A sweetness more addicting
Than the candy.
My heart skips and tumbles
And tap dances in my chest.
How fitting that she should be called Grand.
Grandchild. Granddaughter. Grand.
A thousand times more blessed am I
Since the entrance of this little elf
Whose smile melts and mellows.
The true Wonders of the World.
Grandchildren.
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Copyright © September 2003 Judy A Badger
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 14:38:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41304
Yes this is the second poem I have seen this month regarding a grandchild.
Only a grandparent can understand the feeling that you have given us in your
words. This is a great tribute to that special someone and you have caught
the feelings within. I have a grandson and granddaughter, oh how special they
are and we slow down vocus and appreciate them. We are able to look at them
and remember our childhood thoughts, see a bit of them that is in their parents,
see a bit of them that are in ourselves and other generations.
I like your presentation on this and especially how you broke it apart with
the sweetness. My only suggestion would be in the ending for we know
that you are talking about a Grandchild, and that would be
"True Wonders of the World"
Just a thought. Well done. Thanks for sharing your special someone with us. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-10-01 10:40:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.44000
This is definitely a poem from a woman who loves the role (not the Tootsie roll) of being
a grand-parent. Love the line "with the glistening dewdrops/ of newly formed speech" lets us know
that this is a toddler, a young 1-2year old with her fistful of flowers and delight in the world,
eager to share with nanna. Yes, more addictive than candy. Thanks for sharing your "grand" wonder.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-09-28 22:14:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.09091
Judy, You have the true heart of a Grandmother. Bless you for writting this piece.
It speaks to my heart!
Perfect title. Gosh I wish I would have thought of this poem idea myself . lol
I can visualize her with your great imagry handing you the half crumpled daisy
with her sticky little hand. Such a nice tribute. You have immortalized her and
the daisy forever with this wonderfully fun poem. Makes me want to give my own
grandaughter a big hug and touch my cheek to her soft neck and smell her very own scent.
In stanza 3 I love the way she makes your heart do a tap dance. Very clever line!
a few of my favorite phrases are :
"glistening dewdrops Of newly formed speech,"
"dog eared daisy"
"My heart skips and tumbles
And tap dances in my chest."
Good work, Judy!
Thanks for submitting this one.
Blessings,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-19 10:55:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58333
Hi Judy,
Boy...this is a poem after my heart! I have seven grand-children,
two great-grand-children and another one on the way. Each one is so
special in their own way and sooooo easy to love! This is a lovely poem
about becoming a grand-parent...well written and full of emotion just as
we grand-mothers always are. I love "dancing, impish eyes" the word
impish can be used to describe any child..guess that is what makes them
so fun....."tiny fist clenched...mixed with tootsie role" this line took
me back to my own children...."My heart skips and tumbles and tap dances
in my chest"...this is my favorite line as I know my heart jumps around
in my chest everytime I see their cute faces. Then as they grow and
mature and do something wonderful that same chest swells so much you
are sure it will pop! Thanks for posting this poem...I loved every
line of it.
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-18 15:29:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Judy,
How wonderful your words are. I am blessed with grands...they are the best thing. Unconditional love at its perfect state. I loved the "dog-eared daisy" line and the dewdrops of speech. Your expession of delight is contagious. Befitting grands, grandchild, granddaughter and grand indeed. This is a pleasure to read...I could feel the squeezes from you...and will pass them on to mine. A very refreshing upbeat read. No suggestions except, enjoy the hugs and flowers.
Blessings,
Andrea
Oh...your email came back as undeliverable...please email me. I would like to get my message to you.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-18 11:31:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ah, yes - lovely. The moments you capture are poignant and remarkable. It is so difficult to do situational poetry well - our emotions tend to get the best of our poetic sensibilities - but you have done it! This piece is fresh, evocative and original.
Grand [good strong pun of a title]
Dancing, impish eyes,
Her sparkling chin alive
With the glistening dewdrops
Of newly formed speech,
Wonderful! Yes - new speech is something "alive"
and the dewdrop image captures the soft delicacy of that life.
She presents one dog-eared daisy
[Really lovely image - one thinks of puppies and flowers and
all things soft and adorable - but in a remarkably fresh way]
From tiny fists clenched tightly
And mixed with Tootsie roll.
"Mixed" is not quite the right word here, I think. Even if she is also holding a Tootsie Roll, one needs to pause stop to consider the logistics of it and that interrupts the flow – at least for me. . Perhaps something like…” tiny fists sticky with Tootsie Roll?”
A sweetness more addicting
Than the candy.
INDEED How lovely!
My heart skips and tumbles
And tap dances in my chest. [a little too ordinary for this extraordinary piece.]
How fitting that she should be called Grand.
Grandchild. Granddaughter. Grand.
Grand! Yes, and I am certain you are a grand - Grandmother!
[I am thousand times more blessed]
Since the entrance of this little elf [incredible 'el' assonance with elf/melts/mellows]
Whose smile melts and mellows.
The true Wonders of the World.
Grandchildren. [Yes, the "ordinary miracles " of the world - writ big when they are
standing in front of us with new words and bent flowers. Thank you for this splendid piece. Good to see your work again, Best, Rachel
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gwenne D. Betner On Date: 2003-09-18 11:13:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Judy, Your poem "Grand" brought back feelings of seeing my own babies grow. Oh, how I remembered that "dog eared daisy" I still get the head of a dandelion and I love it! Your line "And mixed with Tootsie roll" was just perfect! I feel like everything they touch is "Mixed with Tootsie roll". They are elves, I cannot wait to get to experience these feelings again when I have grand children. What a delicious feeling you have portrayed. Thank you and God Bless. - Gwenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-18 08:00:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
How beautiful and befitting to find this wonderful tribute to grandchildren this morning as the sun is peeking in throgh the bedroom window.......yesterday I became a great aunt once again thus my mom became a great grandmother for the tenth time....a beautiful little girl, name sake at that, Corinne......born in the grand State of Texas and here we are in Massachusetts. We have yet to see her little sister other then in pictures.......but the pictures have allowed us to follow the little girls growth for two years now and she is just as you say..........beauty in motion my friend. So enjoyed the structure and form given to this piece as with the word flow which has allowed for the images to reach out, take hold of your heart and keep those emotions flowing.....
My heart skips and tumbles
And tap dances in my chest.
adore the above two lines my friend.....I have a little granddaughter, Abby, she is a tad past two at this time and very active but she does make my heart skip, tumble and tap dance in my chest and all it takes is the sound of her voice, though the twinkle in her eyes lite up the room and when she comes over.....watch out............she is like a hurricane that sweeps in the night....hehehe....In all Jerry and I have fourteen grandchildren and one great grandchild.......on his side of course....hehehe.....love the expression dog-eared daisy as well....is that a special kind of flower where you are or something she has done to the pretty little daisy? Just curious I guess......Thank you for posting and sharing your emotions concerning your grandbaby.....Mom is also expecting two more new arrivals come the beginning of the year...one in January and one in February and we are all so eager for the January baby to arrive since this is number five for the mom and dad but only this one has so far survived......prayers surround her at this time for a safe pregnancy and delivery.........Again, thank you for sharing and be safe, God Bless, Claire
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