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This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-22 11:33:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Strapped

When the eyes were closed I felt sensation as the wind carried me to new heights above the deck and in my nest now Strapped to the Mast... Lashed to yonder yard arms lips tipped with thoughts of salt cheeks singe with the heat of sunlight adrift on a sea of fury I venture on Embraced in a mist from Aphrodite past the throne of Neptune into the calming waters next to the isle of wonders I journey on I clench the fist of thunder sail with the Flying Dutchman drop into a massive cyclone engulfed by swirling waters I continue on Strapped to this Mast Thrown, bounded by the abyss fathoming the sea I emerge, rise up from the depths to the surface once more In search Will the albatross fly above find a resting place upon this shoulder use it as a nesting sanctuary In need Alas the thoughts, drained except for one that has bound me to this yardarm Love...

Additional Notes:
I wrote this two years ago and a comment was made that there should be more...so I added a few stanza's hoping that it is not to much; but satisfy those who might have wanted a little more depth. Remember there is no escape from it...

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-10-07 23:01:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
Hi Thomas, I like the exotic and lyrical style of your lines and words here Thomas…this is like a thousand haikus scattered in your entire poem. I enjoy the simplicity of your title “Strapped” with its emphasize on the rope of the flag around its pole. In the first stanza: “When the eyes were closed I felt sensation as the wind carried me to new heights above the deck and in my nest now Strapped to the Mast...” --- I can see a certain “National Flag” while people singing its anthem. And sometimes the sensation is revealed from that intimate and patriotic moment. I like the tingling effect of “yonder yard”. I also enjoy the last lines (like “I venture on”, “I journey on” and “I continue on”…your format is effectively stylish. In the following stanzas… I can also see a proud flag in top of a sail or ship together with its pilot in journey and path of life. I like the nature like effect of “calming waters” and “next to the isle of wonders”…even the “I clench the fist of thunder”. These are unforgettable imageries. Kudos on your interesting work here Thomas! I find the “flag of your love strapped in the pole of your heart”, wavering proudly your passion. For me, this alone is very romantic and masterful. As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-10-07 10:14:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Ah, yes perhaps it is love itself that keeps us "strapped to the mast" and "grounded" but what a pretty cost it is! Splendid poem, Tom. It is about time one of yours got to the top of my critiquing list. When [perhaps "my eyes"- to bring us right in?] eyes were closed I felt sensation as the wind carried me to new heights above the deck and in my nest now Strapped to the Mast... fine strong chorus Lashed to yonder yard arms lips tipped with thoughts of salt [interesting ] cheeks singe[d] with the heat of sunlight adrift on a sea of fury [good strong metaphor] I venture on Embraced in a mist from Aphrodite past the throne of Neptune [nice classical sea references] into the calming waters next to the isle of wonders I journey on [I like the subtley changing refrain I clench the fist of thunder {WOW} sail with the Flying Dutchman drop into a massive cyclone [powerful writing here} engulfed by swirling waters I continue on Strapped to this Mast Thrown, bounded by the abyss fathoming the sea I emerge, rise up from the depths to the surface once more In search this becomes more and more powerful as the poem continues. It is a really epic poem Will the albatross fly above find a resting place upon this shoulder use it as a nesting sanctuary In need Must be a really broad shoulder indeed! Splendid image, Tom Alas the thoughts, drained except for one that has bound me to this yardarm Love... Yes, Love, that powerful anchor which keeps us home [and also keeps us sane] wonderful piece - epic in it story, splendid in language - hope you wil come to join us again some Wed. soon. Best "Rachel"

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-10-01 12:48:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
Hi Thomas! Your additional notes explain why I had a feeling of familiarity when I read this in September! I am glad to have this expanded version, but don't remember exactly how you closed the original poem before revision. There is such a sense of "rightness" about it; whatever you've changed or added seems to have enriched this offering. You share this journey, this venture, with readers. The speaker is no ordinary seaman, we learn. When the eyes were closed I felt sensation as the wind carried me to new heights above the deck and in my nest now Strapped to the Mast... Wonderful assonance in "felt/sensation/deck/nest" and especially "Strapped/mast" enhance the first strophe. I read this aloud, and changed "the" to "my" as I read it, almost unconsciously. There is almost a detachment from suffering evident in the article "the" instead of the possessive pronoun, "my." The speaker realizes that surrendering to his conditions allows the "wind" (often a symbol for spirit) has "carried me to new heights." It is only because of his willingness to embrace the experience that it can lift him "above the deck" I believe. Alliteration and assonance of "yonder/yard arms" is just one of the poetic pleasures contained within this piece. Deft use of sibilance, as well, with "salt/sing/sunlight/ sea" as well as "lashed/lips/tipped." You make it possible for the reader to feel dry, cracked lips "tipped with thoughts of salt" and to feel the singe of "the heat of sunlight." But most powerfully, as a reader I felt "adrift on a sea of fury" to be a kind of credo. Regardless of circumstances, we may rise above them, if we are willing to "venture on." I am greatly inspired by these words. Embraced in a mist from Aphrodite past the throne of Neptune into the calming waters next to the isle of wonders I journey on What a mystical, metaphoric journey - and what incredible imagery - especially "next to the isle of wonders." I clench the fist of thunder sail with the Flying Dutchman drop into a massive cyclone engulfed by swirling waters I continue on This intrepid speaker, like the ordinary human, "continues on" in spite of thunder, engulfment in a cyclone, and the other passages on this metaphorical passage through life, with its storms. He (or she) will "continue on" though aware of the things which might hinder his progress. Strapped to this Mast I like the way you have separated this line, as it emphasizes the limitations of the speaker. Having no choice, he nevertheless embraces life, to "rise up from the depths" in his search. Thrown, bounded by the abyss -- WONDERFUL! fathoming the sea I emerge, rise up from the depths to the surface once more In search Will the albatross fly above find a resting place upon this shoulder use it as a nesting sanctuary In need In the early 17th century, mariners believed drowned sailors were reincarnated as albatrosses and feared that killing them would bring bad luck -- the theme of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's epic, "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner." Here the speaker seems even willing to allow on to rest "upon this shoulder" and nest there "in need" rather than kill the bird as the "Ancient Mariner" did. But not through fear of bad luck, you show us, but through willingness to do what needs to be done, with compassion and awareness. Alas the thoughts, drained except for one that has bound me to this yardarm Love... Aa Coleridge wrote "He prayeth best, who loveth best/All things both great and small;/ For the dear God who loveth us/He made and loveth all." Your original work, with allusions to this beloved classic, reminds us that it is truly love which anchors us, and "binds" the speaker to the yardarm. I sense that the speaker is courageously enduring the many trials of life despite being "Strapped to this Mast" for the sake of loved ones. For after all, this poem seems to show us, what we endure is closely connected to *why* we endure. One always makes a conscious choice, you seem to show us here, to stay the course. Love is that one force which connects us to one another and to the Creator of all. Masterfully done, Thomas. Kudos! Best wishes, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-26 08:38:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.49091
Blow me away and take me to places I have yet to envision within the comfort of the wide open seas.......yet here I shall remain within the comfort of your arms for I have two great loves in my life and my dear your love holds me here........ Is not what life is all about my friend? Love, the sharing of one's life with the ability to allow one to still grow in their other interests as well. This is such a nice read Thomas.......great flow of words chosen allowing images and feelings to just keep erupting over and over again......each reader will find within what he or she feels and that makes this a really nice read.......thank you for posting and sharing with us.......I love the ocean and appreciate your comparing it to what lies within......be safe and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-09-23 15:50:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.88889
Tom, How dare you read my diary and write a poem about it! :) jk Wow Tom, this has alot to like. First the Title is fitting and draws me in right way. The stucture is very appealing to the eye and well thought out. The imagry helps me to feel what you are going through. The sea jargon is very fitting and adds a nice touch. In the 1st stanza you carry on the alliteration of "s" making the sound of wind in my mind with your words. very nice touch. And you carry on that "s" sound allit. all through out the entire poem. I like the phrases you picked like "yonder yardarm", "lips tipped with thoughts of salt"--that is espeicailly nice, "I clinch the fist of thunder", "engulfed by swirling waters", "fathoming the sea", "nesting sanctuary" Thanks for sharing such an outstanding poem. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-23 15:30:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62963
Hi Thomas, I am completly taken by this piece. I must admit I was not sure what your meaning was until I read the last word..."Love" and then the light bulb in my head turned on and I thought 'how could it be anything else but love that binds us'...comparing it to a mast or yardarm is just brilliant. Our whole lives we are bound to a love of one sort or another and even tho we are blown, singed, calmed, engulfed, thrown, and drained it is still the most compelling instinct we own. This poem is well crafted and I like the form you have used here. Also it is filled with emotion and turmoil inisting the reader continue on until the last word. Some loves are more tumultuous than others which gives them more meaning and intrigue. Life and the loves of our lives can only be boring and mundane if we allow them to be. This love, of which you write, is anything but that! Loved it. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Julie Ann Ruengert On Date: 2003-09-23 03:39:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
This is a poem written in a style I am unfamiliar with. It flows nicely and it describes one heck of a boat ride. There was visual and tactile imagination. You were in a furious sea, then it became calm so you could concentrate on your beautiful surroundings (isle of wonders) and it became a journey. Then the storm started again, much worse. Strapped to that pole being thrown into the sea and brought out. You were searching for life--maybe the storm was so bad that you were searching for some life form, a large bird in trouble from the effects of the storm. After a storm like that I would be totally drained---but you seem to love it despite the fact that it wore you out. You could say bound by the abyss instead of bounded. Then use a different word for bound in the last stanza ex--constrained. These are just some suggestions. If you are bound to a mast in a storm, there is probably is no excape from the abyss. Good imagination!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-09-22 20:20:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas: It's grand to see one of your poems again but this one has me stumped because I am not sure who the "strapped" character is. Since it's written in first person, I will assume the poet, for whatever reason, has found himself in this situation. Typical Thomasism: graceful, esoteric, elusive. Your form itself is pleasing: the manner in which the stanzas are laid out on the page. Free verse is my favorite and I'm fond of poems that make me think. "When the eyes were closed I felt sensation as the wind carried me to new heights above the deck and in my nest now Strapped to the Mast...." I like the idea and phrasing about feeling sensation altho eyes were closed...the wind tossing you to new heights and finally to the mast where you are strapped. I do not know if this is punishment for a misdeed or a self-protective measure in a sea of fury. "Lashed to yonder yard arms ....nice alliteration..... lips tipped with thoughts of salt ......grand imagery.... Cheeks (singed) with the heat of the sunlight adrift on a sea of fury I venture on" You paint a vivid picture of weathering nature's fury. More than a storm and if you are aboard the Flying Dutchman, I guess you are destined to ride this ghost ship forever. This is positively intriguing and very unique and creative in its theme. S3 provides a surcease from the tortured waters and storm as you are kissed or embraced by a mist, sail into calming waters, next to the isle of wonders (I love the phrasing and the notion of such a place) and continue your journey. "I clench the fist of thunder ....exquisite... sail with the Flying Dutchman .....what a torment..... drop into a massive cyclone engulfed by swirling waters I continue on Strapped to this Mast" This stanza has the most excellent linguistics of all. The euphony of: fist/flying/engulfed and the TH and two CH sounds are magnificent. S5 details the drop into the water likely due to the cyclone and swirling water which bespeak a wind of considerable force. You rise from the depths to wonder if the albatross above will come to rest upon your shoulder, using it as a sanctuary. If it's not horrid enough to be strapped to the Flying Dutchman, destined to go on and on, now you have an albatross around your neck! "Alas the thoughts, drained except for one that has bound me to this yardarm Love..." Wonderful ending, Thomas. It would require a strong emotion such as love for you to journey on, continue on, venture on. (Nice reiteration there). I'm not sure I understand the poem as you meant it as I'm not well schooled in mythology but once you post it, the reader will see what he sees, regardless of your meaning. I find the poem beguiling and bewitching, casting a spell of eerieness and other-world matters. It is a noir mood until the ending when the epiphany reveals that the courageous acts emanated from love. Akin to the sun emerging after a storm. I also believe your poem is symbolism personified and applicable to other persons in other situations wherein the hardships are endured for the sake of love. I may be quite wide of the target but in any event, I enormously enjoyed it and will assuredly return to it again. Kudos for a great work of art. Best wishes, Mell

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-22 19:26:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
I know the style is not exactly the same, but as I read this I thought of "The Hounds of Heaven". There is a sort of magical quality to the imagery. I had the sense I first had when opening a book that by the very title seemed to promise adventure, sensations and wonders. I thought of the creative force that traps us all as writers as if we are bound to write as we are bound to breathe. I thought of the storms of emotions bound up in all kinds of love, and I was really happy I picked this poem to critique. The writing is exquisite. The imagery is strong, vivid, the flow is good as is the use of space on the paper. I would not change this. The reason people thought there should be more, I'm sure, is that it's like a good story one can't stand to see end. Thank you so much for this poem! Rene

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