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This Poem was Submitted By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-27 00:12:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Haiku - untitled

copious color trees dress in season's attire autumn is abound

Additional Notes:
A Jane Day forum post inspiration

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-09-28 23:55:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Dear Andrea, Thanks so much. Abound is such a lovely and fun word. Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-09-28 20:41:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45000
I like this little haiku. My only suggestion is to mention "colors" in it...I want to see the colors pop out at me, however, there is little room in a haiku to be too verbose...perhaps "crimson" "saffron" or something else prior to attire...or to continue "dress" metaphor in next line...ie autumn's fall fabrics,etc.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-27 15:48:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.46154
Hi Andrea, Well I don't know what inspired this haiku but I just love it. So appropiate for this time of year. It brings forth a lovely image..."opious colors"...they certainly are that and we should all stop a bit every day so that we don't miss them before they are gone and "old man winter" covers them with his frosty wand. blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-27 13:07:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42105
True Haiku with season as the thought. Love the abundant colors sceme to print the picture immediately into view for the reader (only suggestion would be instead of color make it colors), I see orange, red, etc. In your second line you let the reader know we are talking about the leaves for they are the dress of the tree, well done. It also enhances your first line. Finally we verify that this is autumn and it is everywhere. Excellent Haiku, and only the one recommendation for a job well done. Thanks for sharing. Tom Will email you regarding the style comment, just haven't had a chance. I am terrible on emailing back.

This Poem was Critiqued By: carole j mennie On Date: 2003-09-27 08:34:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
Hi Andrea--You've got the 5/7/5 syllable style down. Good job! However, a Haiku should also make sense gramatically. 'Abound' is a transitive verb suggesting 'plenty' or 'abundance' so while you might say 'fish abound in the stream,' you can't say 'fish is abound.' You need a replacement. (Autumn is afoot; ablaze?) Good job. Thanks for the opportunity! Best--Carole

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-27 08:25:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.49153
I too am here in New England and I must say we have very few trees that are turning yet. This week I gathered beans from the garden and mom and I bagged and froze seven filled for winter use.....the carrotts are still underground and I should get those this weekend. The longer it holds off here in Tully I feel the longer we will enjoy fall.....though to the west of me I am sure the colors are beginning to come out and share the beauty within the shades of gold, red, burnt orange and yellow. The pumpkins are being gathered for sale at the country fairs and I for one am off this morning to find some corn stalk and a few pumpkins for the front yard. I did already buy the larger then large mums and those are so beautiful this year..... Getting back to your haiku my friend....as always you are right on form, the image you present is wonderful and again very colorful...tree's dressed in season's attire.......at which point one may paint the countryside with brilliance galore.....Thank you for posting and sharing...Be safe, God Bless, Claire

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