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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-10-10 18:42:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Past

The past never passes it lurks patiently until haunted by the mind Consolers say "This too will pass" but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching them close to consciousness. The past remains present, lest I forget the comfort of your arms

Additional Notes:
Today is the aniversary of my husband's death...a sad time

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-11-07 11:48:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89474
The past never passes [wonderful world play] it lurks patiently until haunted by the mind (fresh vision in an amazing leap of metaphor] ”Comforters”-for a hint of Job?} say "This too will pass" but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching [great alliteration] them [yes – that is how we keep them with us I think] close to consciousness. The past remains present, lest I forget the comfort of your arms Indeed – that is how love triumphs over death… What an extraordinarily trimphant tribute. - Best, Rachel

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-11-06 18:56:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81250
Marilyn, this is so poignant that the ending takes away my breath. What a heart-wrenching testimonial to unforgettable loss and enduring love! The past becomes a tangible entity, capable of being manipulated and almost felt as a physical presence. I find it intriguing that you say the past is "haunted by the mind" instead of vice versa, which is more often the way it's phrased. This implies that in some way, we ourselves leave an imprint on what happens and can shape these events. "The past remains present" through force of will, so the speaker can recreate her husband's embrace and relive it. The hard-c alliteration in the second strophe is sharp and harsh, like sobs choking in the throat. You continue this sound in S3. Diction is simple, so nobody can misunderstand the message, yet there's eloquence in the way your grief is expressed. Tercets are nicely structured and enjambment is used to good effect. Lovely work. We all need to be reminded of how precious our loved ones are, and how suddenly they can be taken from us. My best, Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-11-04 18:18:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34783
Marilyn, I love the last line of this poem. until that line I thought the memorys were something tragic and horrible as i am sure his death was but in the last line of the poem you capture that even in the saddest situations there are these wonderful memories that are worth holding on to.Please do not change this lovely poem. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-11-01 09:58:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38462
Dear Marilyn, The loss of a loved one is a very tragic event that doesn't fade away as soon as "consolers" might think. With the loss of my Mother and of my daughter, the anniversaries are there and it always invokes sad memories for me. I can truly identify with these words, and I offer you my prayers. Love, Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-10-16 09:38:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Marilyn, I couldn't pass this poem up for to me it speaks the full essence of an emotional intensity that maybe time allows healing, but the mind doesn't forget. People telling me this to shall pass, just don't understand. There isn't anything that soothes the partner left behind, the memories to me are so vividly real, I feel the comfort and protection he offers me, and so no credibility in this to shall pass, for it truly never does. An Anniversary should be remembered, for it is a part of out cosmic glow, it sustains us when feeling low because of other raw circumstances of just living assail us. Yes, I remember the comfort not only of his arms, but latying against his chest, and the absolite wonderful feeling of being at home, yes they become memories, but time doesn't wipe our memories clean, Anniversaries and special occass always bring that nostalgic feeling back, and they become a comfort, although we still deal with being alone. Missed, wanted and throughly loved. Wonderful syntax, the thrust of your intent as written, carries the emotions, many of us share, and as such, just let me say you touched my heart with this rememberance, written extradionarly well. God Bless you and cherish those memories, they are golden, and they never pass. This poem is deep seated and emotionally apealling, and I enjoyed it, but my heart is in concert with you well spiken poem. God Bless those memories, and may they never pass, for they sistain me, allowing an inner glow I don';t and won't even try to explain, they are just there a part of my ceeilar makeup now. Best wishes, well written, once again allowing a glimpse into the emotions of the writer....Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-10-15 00:27:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Marilyn, One can’t deny the emotional and personal impact your poem brings to readers. I am with you Marilyn in remembering your husband’s death…may you remember the good times in a positive way and instead brings a smile in your face, saying at least “He has lived a happy and a worthwhile life with you”. :) “Past” --- I like the flatness and simplicity of your title here…it gets straight to the point of the subject. “The past never passes it lurks patiently until haunted by the mind” --- The reality and truthfulness of your words here are undeniably stirring. I like your choice of words on how it slowly and gently “lurks” in our “minds”. Yes, the “past” is best liked when it is about those “happy times” and not those “sad times”. But I think it is those “happy times” that makes us sad because if those “happy times” does not exist at the present time, those “happy times” are considered lost. It’s the intangible “happiness” of the past that makes us grief today. My…in such short lines, your words bring a lot of stuff to contemplate. “Consolers say "This too will pass" but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching them” --- I find “consolers” as relatives and friends. “this too will pass” - such comforting words but you are right, it is easy much said or advised but to the wounded person this is not easy but an agony. Last Sunday our invited pastor told us that to take away the “cobwebs” of life is to kill the spider. Here, in your situation, I think it does not apply. What I can probably say is that may you accept the realities of life and that being “happy” with someone can be your inspiration to go on with life more “fulfilled” and “content”. Let “him” be your inspiration of joy. For “happiness” is shallow, “joy” is deep. And “joy” is easily achieved through Christ. :) “close to consciousness. The past remains present, lest I forget the comfort of your arms” --- This is poignant! I like the depth of “the past remains present”. Your words show how you missed him so much and how valuable he is to your life. This is a heart-warming piece where readers can easily comprehend and relate. Pardon me if I sound a bit preachy instead I hope you find my words consoling and positively encouraging. I appreciate your courage on sharing this too personal message. Thanks for posting this in TPL for us to contemplate…for it strike a lot on my thoughts…on how we should value our loved ones especially when we still have their presence. :) As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-10-14 14:00:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Marilyn: Oh, how I ache for you! I know the healing value of writing a poem like this. You compress so much emotion into this brief poem, which I believe makes it all the more powerful. It is an excellent poem of mourning and remembrance. "The past never passes" --- how very true! What an original way to describe it, to show readers how the past "lurks patiently" until "haunted by the mind." The concept of the past being "haunted by the mind" is incredibly vivid. It is the mind which seems to replay scenes of the past, much like a movie projector which has taken it upon itself to replay old films. But it does so unexpectedly, as you show us, for the mind finds the past 'movies' as it "lurks patiently." These actions seem to take place outside of the will of the speaker. The unexpected descriptor of the mind as 'haunting' is brilliant, in my opinion. Giving the past a persona capable of lurking implies so much about the painful quality of revisiting the past. Consolers say "This too will pass" but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching them Ah! How completely mapped is the territory of grief in this poem. Platitudes such as "This too will pass" are not helpful - minimizing the anguish of the bereaved with a phrase. It is essential for the one who grieves to have the painful feelings, and, as you have so aptly shown, the memories which come in waves. I am reminded of the way labor pains work, or the way pain if often experienced as a gradual building up, and crescendo, and then a diminishing. Memories seem to intrude in just this way. But are they intrusions, or the gentle presentation to our psyches whenever we are sufficiently able to withstand them? I can't answer that, of course, but your poem is so accurate and so evocative. "Cobwebbed corners clutching" is so onomatopoetic - as the 'c' sound is like the sob, catching in our throat. I truly feel that "consolers" mean well, but they are uncomfortable with our pain, and want us to 'feel better' even if it means that we do not experience our own feelings of loss when they occur. This is not helpful to the bereaved. Our minds are such that we hold on to memories, painful or not, you show us, because we still need those vivid mental pictures and emotions in order to remember the beloved ones we have lost. close to consciousness. The past remains present, lest I forget the comfort of your arms That you did not end the poem with a period speaks volumes. The remembering goes on, and will continue. You will never forget your husband, though your life circumstances may change. I am so sorry for your sadness, but I wouldn't have you diminish it in any way. It is yours, and a precious gift. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry I didn't see this sooner to respond on the day. I know that day holds great significance. My own day of remembrance approaches soon. Your excellent poem helps me cope with my own "waves of memories" which at times seem overwhelming. But I don't want to part with them, for the worst thing imaginable would be to forget my son, including the sorrow I feel at his loss. God be with you, and peace. All my best, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-10-14 04:48:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 7.50000
The death of family members, and friends are hard to take--but especially the passsing of a spouse. Thought you wrote this poem from your heart and mind. Detected a subtle and poignant tone through out. It reads like it served as a type of catharsis for you. That's what it's really all about--this writing to express feelings--yes, even sad ones.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Drenda D. Cooper On Date: 2003-10-12 19:11:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, this hauntingly, nostalgically sad poem brings thoughts to the forefront of the minds of anyone who is marrried and truly loves their mate..How it would be to go on living without that loved one is what I can't bear to think upon...Unless we die together, I realize that one of us will have to live on through that unbearable sadness...Anniversaries of any loss bring forth sad feelings, but the loss of a child or one's mate has to be the worst. You were brave to write such a beautiful "memoriam" to your husband'd memory....IT also had the effect of making me feel very fortunate that I still do have the "comfort" of my husband's arms...At times I know he thinks I take him for granted and I suppose everyone has been guilty of this emotion..But, I renew my appreciation of him when I think on your words. I liked the way you personified the "past" as it ""lurks" there waiting for our minds to "haunt" us with its memories...And the consolers, bless their hearts if they mean well, but "This too will Pass" does not help with this loss, huh? "Consolers say "This too will pass" but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching them close to consciousness." This sentence is so full of run-on cacophanous hard 'C" sounds that it is delightful to the ears, despite the sadness of the overall thought of the poem. It is a narrative that shows through picturesque language your thoughts, once again personified. The poem ends quickly but not too soon for it says it entirely..in just the right words in just the right way....how very much you cared for your husband..sometimes we must just "go with" our feelings and not deny them =--which is just what you did here...Not all poems are happy..some of the best have been sad ones.. ..........God bless...........drenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-12 08:25:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
It is the hauntings of the mind that do not let go, the memories we keep within our souls, even when they are good ones.....they rise to the surface, they take hold, do not let go, and bring forth pain once again......a good pain perhaps but still pain, sorrow, feelings of loss.....no, it is not easy to let go and God in all honesty does not want us to let go but to hold onto the good memories of life, the richness of what once was, the journey of our being, and to look upon those we have loved with joy.....their journey ended before ours......the sadness of that parting shall always remain and no one should try to convince you otherwise. My father died in l963...forty years ago......mom still thinks about him and is waiting for dad to come and get her......no that is not silly for indeed someday the Lord will send him to get mom and together they shall venture in spirit form to be with the Lord whom they have both loved all their earthly life and to share what eternity has in store for us all which is peace and love in the Light of God.......your husband awaits the day the Lord tells him to come forth and take hold of your hand and together you shall again walk but this time together toward the Light of God where you shall once again know pure love and peace......This poem is filled with your emotions my friend, the thoughts of your loved one which remain within your heart and shall always be there so forget trying to put them aside......you won't be allowed......for your memories run deep, your love remains as strong as it once was and perhaps shall even continue to grow......some say that is not a good thing, not a healthy thing to do.....but you know what your emotions are capable of and to have loved and lived with your husband as long as you did, to share your life together all those years, the memories are for the keeping........just remember to live each day to the fullest and the Lord will take care of the rest..... There is a message within these lines for those who have loved and have lost. Thank you for posting and for sharing. My prayers are with you for a safe passage.....God Bless, Claire Poet I also know at times you feel your husband's presence within your home or perhaps as you venture outside into the open space you once shared.......it need not be much, a breeze, a certain flower as it bends when there is no wind, a bird that sings in the morning light, and most inportant the feeling of love still felt within your heart for this wonderful man you love.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2003-10-11 07:12:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This really got me thinking. We're stuck with both the sad and happy memories and sometimes they even overlap. What an image you evoke with waves of memories catching cobwebs! It does seem like they sweep into neglected corners stirring up forgotten pieces of life. I hope your sweet memories far outweigh the bitter. Thanks for sharing, pain shared is halved.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-10 23:59:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Marilyn, this is so profoundly touching. First I want to extend my condolences to you for your loss. I know this has to be an emotional time for you and it's good that you can express your feelings so well here on TPL. From your words I can tell this is the love of your life and soul mate you are speaking of. Many go their whole life without ever finding a love like this. Yet you have experienced this intensely significant feat. This is a tribute to that love that is quite remarkable. At fist when I read The past never passes, I thought you are still mourning your loss, but I realize that while you never stop mourning a loss like this, you are actually keeping your love alive with thoughts of his comforting arms. It's not something you want to try to forget but rather something you hope to to always remember. I won't critique these poignant words except to say that every word of it is simply beautiful and I would not suggest you change a thing. You communicate your feelings very well. Blessing to you, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-10-10 20:51:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Marilyn, I am excited with this attempt to give input to your poetry because this would be my first time. As I look up your profiles, you've submitted alot of your wonderful craftmanship! Anyway, so much for that. This one brings me up to two mood: poignant and at the same time inspiring! Poignant, in the sense that obviously it speaks about your past and this is a commemoration of your beloved departed. You let me feel here that your togetherness was very memorable and the life that you have together with that person is worthy to be cherished forever. Now that he was gone, you have the gloomy days and the sad times. But I can also feel that this one is inspiring because the love that you shared with the that person is still alive and will be cherished forever. The past never passes it lurks patiently until haunted by the mind You have shown us in the effective introductory lines the reality of the past. And the way you described it is very concrete that it is personified. It is the stimuli that once responded it creates a reaction. In Physics, I can think of action-reaction theory. In the second strophe, you tell us that even how much you are inclined into your present activities/situation, like even had lots of joys now and enjoyable moments now, it is not impossible that your mind will forget everything that has been in the past. The past is like a wave that sometimes raging and sometimes quiet. I like how you concretely described memories in this phrase "but waves of memories catch cobwebbed corners clutching them close to consciousness". The personification somehow enliven the sad thought that the memories bring. There seems to be a technique here: the alliteration of the sound 'c' in "catch/cobwebbed/corners/clutching/close/consciousness" is amazingly wonderful. It is a good point because it somehow compensate the sad emotion. You have written the piece very laconically but it has all that it says to bring forth the idea of the past. With the triple stanzas containing triple lines are just enough to concretize the idea. And you have ended the poem inspiringly giving the caressing thought: "The past remains present, lest I forget the comfort of your arms". Very lovely! I'm sure your husband would be elated with this one. Thank you for sharing, Marilyn. I look forward to reading more of your pieces. Take care, Jordan

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