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This Poem was Submitted By: C Arrownut On Date: 2003-10-30 18:09:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Road to Knowledge

Key Logger lets him lurk way beyond the shadows long after the naked eye ends. Like a Silent Deploy, the Lover Spy follows her steps to the bank where she tallies house payment, car loan, wireless … even booze and weed allotments. This Specter not-so-Softly seethes as he detects her drooling jaunt through the land of the biggest, picturesque pricks. Finally his “little” secret, satirized to his boss via instant messenger, trips the thin wires to his detonator and E-Blaster, propelling him out of his chair through the doorways between their offices where he crushes her knuckles.

Additional Notes:
One Note: in order to understand this poem, you have to know what the words refer to that are capitalized and at first read do not look like they should be. All of them refer to the same type of thing. I'll leave it at that and see what response I get. All comments welcome. C.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-11-01 13:05:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
The Road to Knowledge [nice sardonic title] Key Logger lets him lurk way beyond the shadows long after the naked eye ends.(great allusion] Like a Silent Deploy, the Lover Spy follows her steps["steps" is a little misleading - but I guess that adds to the mystery of the piece and the "stalker" theme]to the bank where she tallies house payment, car loan, wireless … even booze and weed allotments. [cool] makes me afraid to go on-line! This Specter not-so-Softly [okay okay I get it] :}seethes as he detects her drooling jaunt through the land of the biggest, picturesque pricks. So she is doing some "surfing" of her own, eh? Finally his “little” secret,[poor guys is not majectically endowed, eh? A "little" compensation going on here"] satirized to his boss via instant messenger, [What a JERK}trips the thin wires to his detonator and E-Blaster, propelling him out of his chair through the doorways between their offices where he crushes her knuckles. oh oh ...virtual world meets real world in one fell swoop - Clever and well done piece!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-01 09:05:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86111
Oh, Gayle, as always, you made your reader puzzle or vex on your technique in poetry! As always, you stimulate our minds to participate on finding the gist of your poetry. Your technique is amazingly different. Maybe, for fine (or expert) poets, it is easy for them to grasp the meaning. As for me, especially that my first language is not English, my mind would wander to find what is your intent. It is like Physics that is head-cracking. But Physics is easy because ideas and theories can be translated into mathematical equations and that is what I am good at, modesty aside! SMILE! Well, I dared to give input on your artistry because I like it to be that way. It made me participate. And it is like an adventure in poetry. Of course, my advantage is I will have a new experience on poetry. So, I appreciate your technique very much! So, here I goes... If I pause and think of the title "The Road to Knowledge", I feel that the poem is as usual as many others. My perception would be the poem is easy to grasp. But I read each word, it gives me a riddle. It seems that the road to knowledge that you are presenting is a labyrinth. Something highly intricate or convoluted in character, composition, or construction. Thanks to your additional notes. It lighten me somehow. Let me scrutinize closely each line... Key Logger lets him lurk way beyond the shadows long after the naked eye ends. Key Logger is the first word in capitals! Maybe, it reprents to a person and you are trying to describe how he finds himself the key to knowledge, how he manifested the way which leads him beyond the shadow (which is already a in a light path). Literally a logger is a lumberman who cuts logs into lengths after the trees have been felled. Oh, my God, I am puzzled! Maybe, you somehow associate that idea. Am I getting sensible here? ..."beyond the shadows long after the naked eye ends" ---Oh, this is very mysterious! It seems to me the shadows would mean the obstacles along the way. Well, in that idea, you are presenting a kind of path or a road that makes sense for me in order to reinforce the theme, the road to knowledge. Like a Silent Deploy, the Lover Spy follows her steps to the bank where she tallies house payment, car loan, wireless … even booze and weed allotments. Here comes the second the and the third word pairs in upper cases: Silent Deploy and Lover Spy! Deploy? I can think of the military action, the act of deploying; a spreading out of a body of men in order to extend their front. Aha! The it is somehow related to the third capitals "Lover Spy", a spy is an agent employed by a state to obtain secret information, especially of a military nature, concerning its potential or actual enemies. Somehow, in my perspective, both of them speaks about military thing! Here, the pronoun is "her" which is of course feminine. The word "booze" is a vocabulary for me, I think it refers to hard liquor? And "weed" refers to the slang term that means cigarette or maybe it refers to something useless and detrimental? And once again, the idea presents a a road by the phrase "follows her steps to the bank", therefore, reinforcing again the theme, "the road to knowledge". This Specter not-so-Softly seethes as he detects her drooling jaunt through the land of the biggest, picturesque pricks. Here, once again, you are portraying a road of travel or a journey which is wearisome? The fourth capitalized word is Specter, a haunting image! "not-so-Softly" is intriguing in the sense that it is in capital and you mentioned that all the words in capitals refer to the same type of thing. Well, the significance is it describes the jaunt. I can remark the sounding of specter/softly/seethes with a mysterious hissing and plosive 'p' in picturesque/pricks. By the way, what do you mean by "pricks" here? Hare's tracks or footprints? The third strophe also desribes a road as evident in the words/phrase "via", "trips" and "through the doorways". The last word in capitals is "E-Blaster" --i assume it is an explosive charge that can cause a violent explosion, as of dynamite or a bomb. where he crushes her knuckles. ---[In this line, I am wondering if "her" must be "his"!] Well, Gayle, all I can grasp here is that this poem presents differents kind of roads to knowledge. For instance, there is a different way to a certain discovery. It maybe hard or easy. Reading this piece, my mind leaps to the its maximum energy level. Honestly, I like unique poems. I mean something that has a different technique and perspective. Thank you very much for sharing this. If you can pinpoints some things that I need to understand here. I'm sorry if I am not getting sensible here. But I have to SMILE for this! As always, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-10-31 10:19:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.21429
Well, I am not sure I figured out the capatilized words but I really like the response to the email. That final stanza is really charged with action and with emotion. The detail of the first stanza, budgeting even for weed is also very good. Sandra

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