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This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-11-13 01:08:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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acrostic 1 (Wishful Thinking)

We intend seeing hidden fantasies Unless life turns hope Into numerous keys Identifying neglected gates

Additional Notes:
Special thanks to Turner for the inspiration. Acrostic Form: Providing word/s for each letter. Example: DOG Diligent Obedient Guardian * Grouping and presenting words in a phrase-like/statement-like pattern is by personal preference.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-30 07:36:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73333
Hi Erzahl, How nice of you to be inspired by Turner! Thanks to him that you this I should say "challenging" form is made known here in the link. In fact, I didn't know this form until Turner made its introduction. As defined, Acrostic is a poem or series of lines in which certain letters, usually the first in each line, form a name, motto, or message when read in sequence. This piece is even more clever because you provided a word for each letter of the phrase "wishful thinking" which is not usual like the other submitted pieces here in the link. So it is given more credit for that. The theme is significant as everybody can relate it because is everybody is doing it. Everyday we say numerous wishes and these make us hopeful to do the best that we can do. It's like if you have wishful thinking, it will guide to exert more efforts for all those wishes to become reality. That is the thought that comes into my mind when reading this piece. "seeing hidden fantasies" is just apt to describe the things we dream of that are yet to be realized. "keys identifying neglected gates" is an original phrase. When you say "identifying" you mean "unlocking"? Just clearing it up. By the way, it is an interesting metaphor, 'the keys'. I think this is all I can say to your acrostically clever piece. It is a successful attempt to start your series of acrostic. Excited to wait the next launching. SMILE. Thanks for the nice experience on this form. Best regards, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-21 08:03:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.64000
I am still trying to learn this form of writing my friend.....seems my dense brain is not grasping it totally though knowing the author you are I am certain it is true to form......Wishful Thinking.......okay now I just re read it and searched out each letter in the title....well done my friend and nicely put....... not an easy task to perform either.....my thanks for sharing this and for allowing me the time to 'catch' on.......be safe and looking forward to number 2 on your list of accomplishments. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2003-11-19 23:34:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Erzahl, I've missed commenting on your work, however, I have read them all. I read every poem that is submitted. I haven't been able to type due to a neck and shoulder problem. I have sorely missed TPL'ers tho. I see you are trying something different here with an Acrostic. I like this form, just don't give up your wonderfully creative Haiku. Good title here, the format, interesting and unique, beginning each word, rather than each line. Somehow, it seems more connected written in this way. I read this several times before I was able to get the true depth of your words. I am always amazed at how sensitive and revealing your work is. You were intended to write poetry. Best of luck this month and always, Wanda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-11-19 17:04:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Erzahl, most acrostics stick to listing characteristics and are therefore not all that worthwhile. Yours has a philosophical not intended to make the reader think which I truly enjoy. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2003-11-13 14:49:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.85714
Erzahl - Clever! It took me a bit to figure out the acrostic layout but, eventually, I did... as I said, clever. But, poetically, it seems a bit weak and vague. It would make a good slogan, though! Thanks for the effort Sean

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-11-13 13:43:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl: This is a charming acrostic presented in statement pattern which seems new and crisp and unique. It is a profound, one-stanza free verse with deep import while appearing deceptively simple at first glance. "We intend seeing hidden fantasies Unless life turns hope Into numerous keys Identifying neglected gates." I am reminded of the old aphorism: "Be careful for what you wish...". In your mystical, magical piece, we are wishing for secluded objects of our imagination but fate sometimes makes our lives into "keys" for opening gates we have overlooked or abandoned. The metaphor of wishes as keys for identifying gates is perfect herein. You seem to imply that destiny is smarter than we are, doling out perhaps what we need in lieu of what we want. This poem is open to sundry interpretations which is part of its appeal in a metaphysical sense. For me, for some inexplicable reason, it reminds me of "The Road Not Taken" by Frost. He, of course, is the master of symbolism and I think you have achieved same in "Wishful Thinking". You use assonance effectively: we/seeing/fantasies/keys/neglected and there are a number of other examples that I marked on my printed copy but we both know where they are. I bow to your ear for euphony. Erzahl, I enormously enjoyed another display of your talent which enriches TPL. My gratitude for your posting it for our reading pleasure and best wishes for you and your poem. (Another winner). Mell Morris

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-11-13 10:38:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.50000
Dear Ezrahl, How delightful! And I'm getting excited because I'm hoping that you are going to be doing a series of acrostics since you numbered this one! Your variation of grouping this acrostic as a phrase instead of in a line down the page is unique and creative. The effect is quite pleasing to the eye. And though I never thought the traditional way was choppy, this way in comparison flows much nicer. I just love when you get inspired, Ezrahl, because beautiful things tend to happen and this is a perfect example. Your title is lovely. "Wishful Thinking" is where I spend alot of time. *smile*. So I can relate to this subject matter quite well. But seriously, this says so much within these words. It seems we spend alot of time visualizing our dreams in terms of wishful thinking. When if we would just see the path to the dream and it becomes a reality by the careful steps of a plan. You have done yourself a great service by writing your series of Haiku, because you have been expressing yourself within the concept of less words is more. That is a powerful technique and here the result is evident as well, for in this strict form you can only use a determined number of words. The words you've chosen for this acrostic expertly describe your title to a tee. It takes more than hope to turn dreams into reality. Your equisite explanation of what it takes is inspiring. Thanks for sharing this one, and I can't wait to see #2! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-11-13 01:49:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.43750
Erzahl--Super job! If I gave you some type of impetus for exploring a different way of expressing yourself-right on! Great metaphors for defining what "wishful thinking" is. You show quite a talent for this form on your first attempt (hope it's not your last-smile). Your explanation of the form and its requirements were also great. The way you spaced your words from the letters are unique and eye catching (different effect). I enjoyed the read and the compliment. Thanks for sharing your effort with us TPLers. Keep writing! TLW

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