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This Poem was Submitted By: C Arrownut On Date: 2003-11-23 17:29:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The File

Got one? Better get one. It’s the thing to do. Gauge your success by the nose of those beady-eyed people in black wingtips. How else to know if your quips burned the brains of the polyester set, dug deep into their diaphragms right to their slimy spines. Keep that CIA computer grinding and growling over your metaphors. Who’s Who, only a dream without that file. Got one? Better get one. It’s the thing to do.

Additional Notes:
All comments welcome. I will try to reciprocate thoughtful reviews.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-12-05 12:18:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Right...clever and metaphor rich this one cuts to the marrow - I remember a time when the files were made public and some my fiends wrote in to get theirs and were devistated to learn there was no file on them at all! So where have you been? We will be at BtTG until further notice.

This Poem was Critiqued By: madge B zaiko On Date: 2003-12-04 23:56:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I LOVE IT! Sorry that I am not more specific with you than that... but, it's refreshingly clear, unique, and the rhythmn is a lot of fun. Can't wait to read more of your work!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-12-03 15:41:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.92593
Poet, Beady eyed people in black wing tips is very good the discription tells us alot more about these people then simply what you said. I also like the almost hipster beat of this poem it reminds me of some of the beat poets.Of cource the politics of this poem also reminds me of the beat poets. Overall I think you have done a nice job with this one. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-11-24 18:59:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
C.A.: I likely will interpret incorrectly your import herein as I am quite reclusive and eschew the news because of its totally depressive affect. This poem may refer to something that has happened recently under the guiding hands of Dubya but I will give my impressions because I find your piece intriguing. "Got one? Better get one. It's the thing to do." Great opening to hook the reader who wants to know got what? It is also a play to American consumerism in that people will flock to acquire whatever is the "in" thing. "Gauge your success by the nose of those beady-eyed people in black wingtips." Nice internal rhyme of nose/those and the imagery is great..."beady-eyed" and "black wingtips." These are surely the bad guys, smacking of government officials. "How else to know if your quips burned the brains of the polyester set, dug deep into their diaphragms right to their slimy spines." Nice allits here enhance your delivery: burned/brains and dug/deep/diaphragms and slimy/spines. "The polyester set" is (again) grand imagery with which to portray these wingtippers. I would certainly aspire to write quips to inflame membranes in the frontal lobes of these guys depicted in your poem. It would seemingly require some rather heady material to dig into diaphragms to the spinal region but if they are polyester wingtippers, perhaps not. Perhaps simple things they misinterpret would serve as effectively. "Keep that CIA computer grinding and growling over your metaphors." Again, your linguistics serves you well and your word choices add such cachet to your piece. "Grinding/growling" sound nice aloud as do the long O sounds in over/metaphor. The giveaway here is that the "files" are those the CIA maintain on some of the most innocuous people in the world. What a waste of money and shades of the blacklist era! When I think how many people were harmed by J.E. Hoover at the FBI while his scurrilous private life went unrecorded, it makes me ill. "Who's Who, only a dream without that file. Got one? Better get one. It's the thing to do." I suppose I always will remain a dream. Very efficacious ending with the reiteration of the first stanza, bringing the poem full circle. I find this cynical as we should be, considering all we have witnessed of the misuse of power by those in high places. If I have understood your meaning, this is an important poem, reminding all of us that the most innocent remark can be used to take you out...if you have a file with the CIA. And with the amount of data we feed into cyber space, we all may have a "file." We have had sundry poems about governmental missteps, the travesty of war...ad infinitum. Perhaps some of our TPL poets are being scrutinized as we speak. Nothing would surprise me in the times in which we live. I do thank you for posting a most thought-provoking and enjoyable poem and I hope you will tell me how wide of the mark I may be. Best wishes for your success, Mell Morris

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-24 16:02:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68421
Hi C, It is always a dare for me to critique your poem. This one is laconically written. The File? Is this a metaphor or to be taken literally? Let me see....(I am chuckling myself!) I think you are presenting a scenario of life here that is worthy of reflection....giving us a philosophy in life. The first input seems to give me a fun mood. It's like starting the ball rolling in a game....take it! take it! SMILE. The second stanza is a philosophical in nature....it seems to give a command or imperative that is to be taken a little serious in life. It looks like the line "by the nose of those beady-eyed people in black wingtips" is an idiomatic expression! Is it? I have a dictionary to look for "beady-eyed" ---having eyes that gleam with malice...a powerful descriptor! It adds the impact to the imperative "gauge your success...". Liked the inclusion of the allits in burned/brains, dug/deep/diaphragms, slimy/spines, etc. You are presenting here a real scenario of the life of some people here....defiling/sullying......The use of imperative approach is really impulsive...making the readers participate on the tackled issue. The sixth stanza manifest the theme. Like the intense, thrill, mystery....This one is alive...putting the readers into action. You get a merit, Gayle. Thanks for sharing. Jordan.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-11-24 13:55:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53333
C Arrownut--A semi-fun 'serious' piece. Very apt title (big brother is alive and watching). Your poem is alive also. Super descriptive metaphors (beady-eyed/burned the brains/dug deep into their diaphragms right to their slimy spines/grindning and growling) paints a graphic picture of some errant and devious minds. The combination internal rhyme nose/those and (assonance)repitition "e" sounds of the phrase; "...the nose of those beady-eyed people..." places a well meaning emphasis on stanza #2. The alliterations of; dug deep into their diaphragms & slimy spines produces a continuation of the rhythm and purpose from stanza #3. The "gr's" sounds of "...grinding and growling..." add a real gruff/rough edge/image; as well as a "Great" quirk to; "...over your metaphors." The repeating of stanza #1 as #7 only served to emphasize stanza #6 and your overall "Theme" of the entire piece: Who's Who, only a dream witout that file. Superb WORK! Thanks for sharing such a well-thought-out effort with TPL. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-24 08:18:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58140
Well, unlike most people that I know I do not keep a file on my life....others might do for it is always there ready to jump out and smack you in the face, sort to say.....either you have a degree or you don't.....I used to think on hands training was the best for it gave you more of life's experience then the rest.....and since I never ventured off to college what good would a file do anyway......I have lived my life, its already in black and white, what good or bad I have done is there.....what good I still might want to do, perhaps a file is not needed for that....credit is not what I am after....but for many a file certainly is the answer to their problems and without that file to remind them of what they have done, who they are becoming is in order......loved the style, loved the word flow and the images of who's who.......actually I thought this to be a fun piece to write....not serious unless you honeslty need that dam file to carry on your life with......of course I smile when some say 'oh I have a portfolio and all goes into that'......its me you know.... Well if I had a file it would say" 5' 2" eyes of blue, hair color depends upon mood of the century I would say.....88 pounds at present but would rather be volumptous if yo know what I mean......I have been married twice, mother of three, grandmother of four, found the Lord in my early twenties.....Love that Lord.....I have been a cleark, a nurse's aide, a homemaker, paralegal and at present a caretaker who is disabled.....have many hobbies including knitting, crocheting, writing, critiquing, songwriting, poetry, you name it I might try it.....gardening and nature along with the animals that are in our yard......so there I now have a file.....thanks for posting, for allowing me to share with you who I am but I want to be something else in the coming years.......so I guess I should not close the pages yet. Be safe, this was fun indeed......God Bless, Claire

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