This Poem was Submitted By: Jennifer A Cox On Date: 2003-12-10 03:37:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Looks on Life- The Story from Our Side.

Here's a story that I think of when I think of you.                                                       About a woman we once knew.                                                                                                     When she grew we stomped her dreams.                                                                        She always thought she was selfish with low self-esteem.                                                                                                     We beat her down with all our things.                                                                       We told her she would never amount to anything.                                                             We pushed her away to wear his ring.                                                                        We always mistreated the poor little thing.                                                                 She did have a dream- she wanted to paint everything.                                                        She was living with a horrible human being.                                                                 He would never teach her anything.                                                                        Made her believe he was her everything.                                                                   Then he planted his seed, but wouldn't help her make it grow.                                                 Instead of loving her, he wanted to go.                                                                    And when he did it hurt her so,                                                                             to see her unloving husband go.                                                                             He didn't go far, just right down the hall                                                                  to lay with a babybooming star.                                                                           This poor little flower we saw as a weed,                                                                  had the strength that nobody could see.                                                                      She went through things we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies.                                             She always believed and grabbed life by the sleeves,                                                      made her babies believe, she would never leave,                                                           gave them the strength to succeed. She would always feed her seeds,                                       when she couldn't even water herself,                                                                 wondered why she wasn't worth their help?                                                                  She always felt the happiest that she wanted her babies to be,                                                she made her babies see the way she believed they should always see                                     life's true realities, to help us to be the things her mother never helped her to be.                        I always remember her promising me, she would always stand by me,                                      whether good or bad for me, she would never abandon me,                                                 always believe in me, show me the hidden me,                                                               the one only mommy and me can see.                                                                          So when you tell me I'm just like my mother, I hold my head high. I knew that one day I would be the sweetest little twinkle in my mother's big green eyes. No sad cries over here, I will always hold my mother dear. I will always be on her side because she never left mine. So always love your mother till the end of time.

Copyright © December 2003 Jennifer A Cox


This Poem was Critiqued By: housam majid jarrar On Date: 2003-12-28 03:12:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Full of passionate love and sincerity.just marvelous.I was a bit distracted with the way you choose to present your poem horizontally,but never the less you really impressed me with the overwhelming emotions in this piece.I see nothing that needs improvement aside from the already mentioned distraction.In my own opinion a poems power comes from its ability to transfer you from one emotion to another,as if one leads to another,but in your presentation there is a break in that sequence which dulls the effect a little bit.Great job ,hope to read more of your work. housam jarrar


This Poem was Critiqued By: Michele Rae Mann On Date: 2003-12-17 13:01:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
If I could give you more then 10 points I would. Nothing to change, just praise and thanks. Thank you for making me even prouder to be a mom! Michele
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-17 08:13:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Jennifer I have no clue as to what happened when you typed in the poem but to read it one (at least I have to) keep pushing the page to its limit for it appears to be all on one line which makes for a very difficult read. Therefore, I might suggest a different structure of this piece for the read is certainly worth the read. The words you have chosen are filled with many emotions, feelings, love and respect for your mom....I hope she is still alive to read this and to share its love with you for you certainly loved your mom. My mom is 92, lives with us here in Tully and has for some time now. She is 24/7 care and at times its like raising a child all over again but still worth the effort and love and keeping her out of those nasty nursing homes where she does not want to ever have to go is my major goal. A mother's love certainly never dies even if she has.....she is with you always. Thanks for posting, for sharing this with us......I am sorry that yor mom lived with a horrible human being. At least she did not stop loving or caring for you because of him.......she took what she had to in order to make you whole and indeed she certainly succeeded. Be safe my friend, looking forward to more of your work and I am sure you have many stories about mom that might appear. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-12-17 02:13:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
jennifer, this is trully a masterpiece, it touched me to the bones. and the style well fits the title.but i had to admit it made me dizzy reading it. still, i liked it anyway.thanks for sharing it.april
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-12-16 20:32:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A nice tribute to your Mother and conversly to your Father."So always love your Mother til the end of time." A nice parable but it doesn't fit for me (unfortunately). I can't say that I am crazy about your format here. I kind of lost my train of thought here trying to figure out how to read it (there is two ways, one with the vertical cursor and the other with the {bottom} parallel cursor if you get what I mean). I wonder if you might consider changing the title to: A Look On Life - from my perspective thanks for sharing this very personal story.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-12-10 20:56:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JC: Highly unusual formatting. This moves you way up the list. Deeply moving ending. Near the top. If not the. TW.
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