This Poem was Submitted By: Robert L Tremblay On Date: 2004-01-09 03:29:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Blazing Mustang

                                                                                       T                                                                                          he mustang mustered                                                                                                            prickly prairie dry,                                                                                                               in high rebellion                                                                                    m          ‘gainst the twilight nigh, before the                                                                                      oon disposed coyote howl;       O,      mighty                                                                           c                                          mustang with your formless                                                                            owl!  Since foalish days (beneath such cloudless skies that                                                                          vultures hovered with their raptured eyes), the mustang learned                 the                                                                                 nature of the plains, it’s grace unlocked in evolutions’s pains,          where                                                                                                          windswept whirlwinds whirled their fairy dust        below the                                                                                                         mountaintops beyond, in crust, while most,         of many. dared                                                                                                        not venture far.  But,        not the foal,              in frisky, frolicked                                                                                                        jar, as jittered flexions                                     masked his youthful                                                                                                      glee and terror of survival                               tested free the instincts                                                                                                      deep within that foal would                        need in much of life...the                                                                                                   bread requiring earthly, plastered              knead.   One minor scar upon                                                                                                  this stallion’s neck, testimony  to harsh     cougars’s wreck    that punched                                                                                                  a bleeder near jugular’s vein before the colt could gallop,              after feign,                                                                                              beneath the pine coned branch’s mantled  pine  along  the                  prairie’s                                                                                                bordered, sanctioned line.  Survive, he strived, amidst the dust          and brown,                                                                                       with passion’s heart adorned as blazing crown atop this stallion’s           soul; eternal                                                                                  rest, beneath the midday sun, but dreamer’s  quest, and mustangs                                                                              dream not dreams within the nest. But, nightmares, too, are dreamer’s                                                                          dreams denied – such tranquil peace this mustang  knew, belying myth                                                                  that beastly lives determine, not, serenity’s sweet sorrow, deftly wrought.                                                             Across the plains, this  mighty steed was prince, his courtly presence truly                                                      honored, since, he reigned supreme within the prairie’s cove, his sinewed shoulders,                           he so boldly hove.  Majestic eyes, ablaze with fire’s light, above flared nostrils thirsting for a                     fight, with honed hooves sculptured by the anvil’s stones – the mustang crushed, on crucible,                    all bones.  Withholding judgement, cruel, the mustang stepped around the rattler coiled so              not inept  and thought, not once, about that vermin, cold, until such time, again, that reptile              old.  Such sculptured beauty, Master artists, vain, attempted mimic onto canvas pane             but  nothing born can capture mustang’s hue, save brushes handset in eternal             pew.  No filly, pure, deserted by his side, his harem chosen by his             sense’ guide, the yearning, strong, from nature’s calling                      hum for vigor’s vital strain, survivor’s sum, expunged in vibrant climax -            rapture’s peak ; no sadness shed for lesser of the weak.          Without an auditory note, the steed dismounted mare and,        so,  returned to feed upon the grasses, green from showers      sprung from   springtime schooner’s sails aloft and hung to      dry below        the solar sentry’s guard.  Ah, splendor, thou     is wonder               to the  bard!  In driven passions poised   postpartum, I              behold the wonders to behold and cry  tears wilted by                a timeless, tangled thought, through mimed motives                                        on tiptoed tightrope, taught.  Beyond                                          the missive, dire, beyond myself;                                          within the living   being known as                                        self, lies light,                                                                  compassion’s                                                                    bright and                                                                    brilliant                                                                   rays, on                                                                   tiny tot                                                                   that He,                                                                   above,                                                                    conveys. Copyright © February 2003 Robert L Tremblay

Copyright © January 2004 Robert L Tremblay

Additional Notes:
Blazing Mustang (unformatted) The mustang mustered prickly prairie dry, In high rebellion ‘gainst the twilight nigh, Before the moon disposed coyote howl; O, mighty mustang with your formless cowl! Since foalish days (beneath such cloudless skies That vultures hovered with their raptured eyes), The mustang learned the nature of the plains, It’s grace unlocked in evolutions’s pains, Where windswept whirlwinds whirl their fairy dust Below the mountaintops beyond, in crust, While most, of many, dare not venture far. But, not the foal in frisky, frolicked jar, As jittered flexions masked his youthful glee And terror of survival tested free The instincts deep within that foal would need In much of life…the bread requiring earthly, plastered knead. One minor scar upon this stallion’s neck, Testimony to harsh cougars’s wreck That punched a bleeder near jugular’s vein Before the colt could gallop, after feign, Beneath the pine coned branch’s mantled pine Along the prairie’s bordered, sanctioned line. Survive, he did, amidst the dust and brown With passion’s heart adorned as blazing crown Atop this stallion’s soul – eternal rest, Beneath the midday sun, but dreamer’s quest, And mustangs dream not dreams within the nest. But, nightmares, too, are dreamer’s dreams denied – Such tranquil peace this mustang knew, belied Myth that beastly lives determine, not, Serenity’s sweet sorrow, deftly wrought. Across the plains, this mighty steed was prince, His courtly presence truly honored, since, He reigned supreme within the prairie’s cove, His sinewed shoulders, he so boldly hove. Majestic eyes, ablaze with fire’s light, Above flared nostrils thirsting for a fight, With honed hooves sculptured by the anvil’s stones – The mustang crushed, on crucible, all bones. Withholding judgement, cruel, the mustang stepped Around the rattler coiled so not inept, And thought, not once, about that vermin, cold, Until such time, again, that reptile old. Such sculptured beauty, Master artists, vain, Attempted mimic onto canvas pane But nothing born can capture mustang’s hue, Save brushes handset in eternal pew. No filly, pure, deserted by his side, His harem chosen by his sense’s guide, The yearning, strong, from nature’s calling hum For vigor’s vital strain, survivor’s sum, Expunged in vibrant climax - rapture’s peak ; No sadness shed for lesser of the weak. Without an auditory note, the steed Dismounted mare and, so, returned to feed Upon the grasses, green from showers sprung From springtime schooner’s sails aloft and hung To dry below the solar sentry’s guard. Ah, splendor, thy is wonder to the bard In heat! In driven passions poised postpartum, I Behold the wonders to behold and cry Tears wilted by a timeless, tangled thought, through Mimed motives on tiptoed tightrope, taught. Beyond the missive, dire, beyond myself; Within the living being known as self, Lies light, compassion’s bright and brilliant rays, On tiny tot that He, above, conveys. Copyright © February 2003 Robert L Tremblay


This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-20 17:09:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
I know that on the surface, this piece is about a horse, but then I thought of the car, the Mustang by Ford and thought more of it. It seems like something like America and the Industrial Revolution and the car and so on as an analogue. Anyway, my idea of it, but it seems to make sense. Another really exceptionally written piece. This style really works for you, man. I have seen nothing but great reviews and it's hard to pick any of your works apart at all, other than the graphic part, which is mainly a personal prejudice on my part. Thanks, REEG!


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-12 08:36:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Bobbie T....as always your form of this poetry is outstanding and to sit back and take the complete image into view is breathtaking for I do love horses and to see this one standing with hooves raised as they are and feeling the pride this one has in its own breed.....superbly done. I have furthered enjoyed the nice rhyme you have placed with this one.....from beginning to end like the prairie dust that has appeared in images throughout, your words have brought forth images of the life these majestic horses lead and endure at the same time........and I who has not a liking for snakes can hear the rattle shake on the rattler mentioned within......shivers have run up the spine this morning my friend and still the beauty of it all has passed before me. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us.......I know you take time, energy and much love to create one of these creations and therefore be proud of your work ........Again, be safe my friend and may the Lord continue to bless your work. Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-01-12 07:02:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
This poem is absolutely incredible; it is a work of pure art. It's more than just a poem, it's also a picture in text - and I stand amazed at the creativity of it. Your style of writing is unique and quite different than I'm used to reading so I have to hold back on my critique of the content in this poem. It's above my level of expertise so I'll leave that for the pros on this site. I will say you do have a natural talent for writing and your gift needs to be exposed where ever possible. Best of luck to you, Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-11 23:19:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Oh my Gosh, what a wonder this is Bobby! I was completely amazed more than seeing a a shooting star in the heavens. Oh, maybe this is like seeing a constellation of stars in the form of this. haha! But it is not a wonder that it is you who wrote this because I always inclined on reading your structured piece, the last time was First, Last Kiss. I am speechless at this juncture. I was drawn on thinking how you came up with this. Did you take a special class in poetry? I think you originated this kind. Thanks for sharing. More of it!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-01-11 11:06:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Dear Robert, You did a great job of this, I know it must be extremely difficult. Congratulations on your special critique. That is quite an honor! Sherri
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