This Poem was Submitted By: Robert L Tremblay On Date: 2004-01-30 21:14:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I, raindrop

               I                                                        I               be                                                       be             nature                                                    seen            set free                                                 as a man             to let                                                   sees I               be                                                       be                                            I                                           am                                          free                                         liquid                                        raindrop                                         inside                                           be                I                                                        I               am                                                       am              love                                                     mine             let go                                                   to die            to teach                                                 whenever             people                                                   I wish               be                                                       be

Copyright © January 2004 Robert L Tremblay

Additional Notes:
And this is an example of my most simple expression of a "concept", taken from my earlier period.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-02-04 12:51:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Tom, I enjoyed this when I saw it the first time. The essence of being is nicely evoked here, and it is fitting that the last word in each droplet is "be". There's a Zen feeling, as we are immersed in the character of the simple drop. This is a much less complex poem than most of your others but I think that's also part of its appeal. We can also move among the raindrops in various sequences, because it is not a linear piece. Freedom of choice, however, is a recurring theme. Rain is unconfined, which makes it a good metaphor. Water, in general, takes the shape of its container. Thus the collection of droplets might be taken to represent the indwelling human spirit. You do offer us latitude for interpretation! Brenda


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-02 18:37:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93939
The cutest of all pieces I have ever read, Bobby! Five droplets are in uniformity with each other in terms of size and form. It's a diamond droplet, interesting! Is there a symbol behind the number 5 and the diamond? Just a thought in my mind! There are other interesting comparison of the droplets, the first and the second contains 6 lines and the rest 7. The first line and the last line are the same. Taking on the idea of each droplet, the first one is being the person, free in the bountiful nature. This is a gift of God to man, freedom and abundance. The second droplet is the manifestation of man as a being. The third is a metaphor: man compared to raindrop. The fourth line is about love which consists the totality of man and the last one is the man being a mortal. Very very nice and essential concept of man's life! Thanks for sharing Bob. This is a fun piece to read and of course the essence of it is the thing to consider deeply. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-02 07:36:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54795
And these dear sir are refreshing as the drop they all represent....interesting how yor earlier work belongs in this century too.........as always poet your work represents the highest of quality, great form, easy to read, associate with and admire. thanks for sharing with us, be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-01-31 10:56:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.32000
Dear Robert, Ths simple stuff is what I can enjoy. Each little raindrop dripping with a truth, very easily understood and to read. I liked this one quite a bit. Thanks for sharing, Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-31 02:27:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34615
I have to admit that poets here make it harder and harder for me to continue with my basic lack of understanding of graphic style poems. This one is especially well done in an internet way since we have to scroll down to see the remaining drops. I am quite impressed. Having said that about graphic poems, I think that I must now change my idea about any form of poem. I mean, I use rhyme all the time, right? Heh... What difference is there in submitting to that form of discipline than this one? Anyway, the poem is interesting due to it's format, and the visual component. There was some tension about if the last word would always be "be" or not. For me, it would seem that changing it at the end may give it some release, as though the drop died, or making a bigger word, to represent the breaking on the ground or something visual like that. See? I can get into it if I try here... Those of course are just my own random speculations, and the poem is fine as it is as well. Water, after all just changes forms, not itself. The content of the words is also interesting in that it's a bit like a Beatles song in that it takes small bites, and presents one clear idea, with little twists in each line. Thanks, REEG!
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