This Poem was Submitted By: Robert L Tremblay On Date: 2004-02-08 02:43:23 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Oak

                               From tiny                             Acorn, it began;                            Nourished so blindly                            By the Gardner Grand.                        Yet, it thrived and stretched                      To break ground, finally bursting                     Through the parched surfaces etched                    Where 100 years good, five thirsting                  From unrelenting sun making oak wretched                 Until seasons changed and rain was fetched.                  Much activity occurred around it’s spot,                  What with squirrels gathering and a tot                   That built a tree house on broken arm                    While father worked the family farm.                      Such was the oak in little harm.                       It survived two hurricanes but,                         Alas, one lightening bolt                              Ripped open gut                               With megavolt                               In dying jolt                               That stripped                               Layer dripped                               In oozing sap                               Depriving cap                              Of nourishment                              And, so, meant                              A silent death                              Lacking breath                              To vitalize it                              So it died bit                              By bit until a                              Stump in decay                              Was it one day.                      The last to die, were roots                 Which layed beneath the surface grim          Unable to breathe    the oak’s    headless boots    Could not continue very       much      longer along cliff’s rim Until they,                      too                       entered dim.  

Copyright © February 2004 Robert L Tremblay

Additional Notes:
This is the earliest example of my "imaged" poems, formed in my early period, some twenty odd years ago. Bobby T.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-25 21:14:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.26316
An interesting shaped poem with rhyme, too! I think the rhymes seem a little forced at times, e.g. Through the parched surfaces etched Where 100 years good, five thirsting From unrelenting sun making oak wretched - [esp. here, but it ain't that bad] Until seasons changed and rain was fetched. Was it one day. - [I'm not sure this is needed. Why not "It was one day"? Another very minor detail] The pausing in the roots works very well. I enjoyed this. Share more!


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-02-18 15:36:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.64706
Hi Bobby T. This certainly is an amazing piece of writing. I really have no idea how you can compose a poem and draw a perfect picture of it at the same time! This piece is abundant with wonderful images...so much so that I could almost see the oak in my mind's eye as I read the words....'bursting through the parched surfaces'..this is easy to visualize and the description of drought....'five thristing from unrelenting sun making oak wretched... until rain was fetched'...interesting use of the word 'fetched' which is a perfect fit here. Then you give us a look into the life of the mighty oak tree....squirrels gathering... a small child with a broken arm buidling a tree house. If trees can think I believe they would be very pleased with these 'goins on'. It survived two hurricanes..but then a life shattering lighting bolt. The imagery from this point on is so graphic and I could not help but feel empathy for this brave oak tree...to withstand so much and then to wither away in the end....'dying jolt, stripped, dipped, oozing sap, deprived,...silent death, lacking breath....dying bit by bit until stump in decay'...it is so easy to liken the tree's demise to that of humankind and brings sadness to this reader. Dying roots beneath the surface grim is full of pathos to me. I kept hoping thoughout that someone magical event would take place and pull this poor oak up out of it's grave and allow it to carry on for more tree houses, bird's nest, and leaping squirrels but it was not to be. I love this poem...everyone that reads this, I am sure, will have the same reaction as I have. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-16 10:22:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Robert, I can see a huge difference in your work now. I was expecting to open this poem and see a wonderful tree branched oak tree spread out, with deep roots boring into the ground. I can see the improvement, I think what you do is unique and know that I for one do not have the patience to do that type of meticulous work. Is "imaged work" the right title for this type of work. Sorry, I don't know the name of the form you use. Thanks for sharing.. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-02-13 11:10:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
I like this image and the poem. I am gradually being won over to this form by reading more and more of them. Thanks for that. This poem is well written, aside from the image aspect. It's a nice summary of the imagined life of something far grander and prouder than we. I am not sure if this poem comes from the direct experience with a specific tree or stand of them- as it may very well be. It's great. I have a deep respect for trees and name some of them friends. This poem reminds me of another friend who specifically goes into the redwoods every so often to recharge. He's a real nervous type- always moving always going, talking and so forth. It wa a bit odd for my experience with him to have him bring me out to the redwoods and have him walk around so quiet and reverent. On that short trip, we walked around seeing all phases of this life you describe arrayed before us. It's a great and pleasant reminder of both him and the trees. It's good to know that someone out there can express those feelings so well. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-02-09 20:56:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Robert; Alas, one of your creative designs that I can read! Not to say that your others were of poor quality (They are extremely creative) but rather that being easily distracted I found that they were too busy for me. I can see the representation of the oak though honestly I also saw a mushroom cloud or a phallic statue I previously saw in a National Geographic. You do a great job taking us through the life and tragic death of the Oak. From the beginning "From tiny Acorn, it began; Nourished so blindly By the Gardner Grand" until the finish I was easily led and happy to have been. The imagery of the sprouting, the squirrels, broken arm of a young climber, were clear...but that bolt of electricity was particularly image provoking for me given that I once had a tree fall near me after being struck by lightening and your poem brought me right back to that moment. I loved the ending....basically in the end we are all "dust in the wind". Nature's recycling. Thanks for posting your older works. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-09 14:33:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Another 20 year old poem you have served us here. Amazing structure you created with the exact picture of the oak, the subject of the poem. How you skillfully created the picture of the life of the oak, founded very well to the ground, tested by typhoon and still gripping but because every living thing is bound to die, the oak reached its final destination, it too, entered dim! You seem to present a reality of life here not only applicable to plants (the oak) but to human beings. The application of rhyming is another skill you applied here. You seemed to have no contraints at all. The influx of your ideas are not hindered by rhyming nor the image of the oak. So admirable is your talent as always. Your talent in making imaged poem is founded like an oak and the good thing is it would remain forever in the history of poetry. Thank you very much for sharing, and hey, congratulations of your winnnid piece last month. Goodluck for this month, Bob! Regards, Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robin Ann Crandell On Date: 2004-02-09 12:08:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Robert, What a great poem. It was so cute. I could visualize the events as they happened. That poor little tree. I can visualize driving down the road and seeing a huge tree split right down the middle, laying there, until someone comes to hull it away. Great Poem! I would not change a thing. Thank you for sharing. P.S. My Grandmother is 93, she loves being outside and anything that has to do with it. I will share this poem with her. I am sure she will be delighted. Robin.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-08 08:03:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Most likely one of the easiest for the critiquers to respond to......nicely structured, and as always great word flow, bringing forth life at one point (in the beginning) and in the end death (for we are all born to die).......what transpired in between is what life is all about.....a journey to travel all on our own.....yet yere within this oak tree we have birds enesting, shade is provided for those that rest beneath and a child has built a tree house within the limbs as well for pleasure and sometimes for escaping every day hum.......Enjoyed the travel and images associated with this one dear Poet.......thank you for posting and sharing it with us....be safe, God Bless, Claire To be knocked down by a lightening bolt....can you imagine the pain felt within its base as the jobt ripped through and tore it apart........that was a site to behold poet.....
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