This Poem was Submitted By: Robert L Tremblay On Date: 2004-03-01 21:41:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Passion's Play

                                                                                    D                                                                        E                           F                                                                         V                               A                                                                    O                                T                                                                    L           I so do           H                                                                    E       beseech and      E                                                                      B cry   o!     ;  why R,                                                                        am          I        the                                                                    manna       -      teach                                                                   what?  A          repeated                                                                                message                                                                                 AM in                                                                                     I!                                                                                                            Shoulders                    overlapped               on timbered oak dry, wearied by dusk and twilight’s sweet mourning, purple stained palms  dripping dampered dawning, witness, I, to Holy obedience; sublimated by natural cadence, metered deftly           by Divine assembly, orchestrated so high note is trembly.  Drawn to others, gelatinous my                                                                                        G@d                                                              soul, reflective of        Above’s                                                                 diamond/coal, crushed by                                                                  suffering unneccessary,                                                                   where Man’s suffering                                                                     blights humanity by                                                                         indifference to                                                                         living matters.                                                                         Dear God, my                                                                         God, why this                                                                        that so batters                                                                      spirit that but the                                                                   noble survive?  “My                                                                  son, My son, I suffer                                                                    not alive while high                                                                     in repose so worry                                                                       do I, and tearful                                                                         are the angels                                                                           as they cry                                                                            for every                                                                             feeling                                                                              being                                                                              dated                                                                                like                                                                               Man                                                                            because                                                                            of  such                                                                             passion                                                                             painted                                                                             in tan.”

Copyright © March 2004 Robert L Tremblay

Additional Notes:
The poem begins with the "halo" beseeching, "BELOVED FATHER", then reads down and across as written, with Christ's lettered face reading, "I so do beseech and cry, O!; why am I the manna - teach what? A repeated message AM in I! This was written in 2002. Bibby T.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-03-12 18:21:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
As always you have created a masterpiece and it is well accepted by this critiquer....the passion of our Lord......I was driving home one night a few years back when I had to pull over as the Lord was not only sending me words He brought to life His passion.....I was there with Him as He walked that walk. carried that cross, fell on His knees and died on that cross so we could all live again............It was over poweing as this is my friend........I thank you for posting, sharing your God given talent and emotions with us as well......it takes courage to continue doing what youa re doing......travel on.....be safe and God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-03-10 19:47:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Hi Robert. Again, a very complex but well done example of poetry put to graphics--or poetry put to form might better describe what you do so well. Not only is the head the head--but it is also somewhat shaped like a heart which adds to the whole idea. It was done in 2002, but this, as you know is a great time to re-submit, because of Mel Gibson's The Passion Of The Christ. As I said before, I would think about putting a book of these types of poems together. Booking really dresses things up too, you know--like all things natural are sort of plain, until they are "dressed up". Anyway, just letting you know my thoughts on this. Keep doing what you do. Marcia McCaslin
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-09 19:25:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What a graphic poem you have here again, Bobby! One of the good features in poetry is visuals in that the readers can SEE it. Using concrete imageries would highlight it but the visuals of your poetry is doubled and highly concrete because of the use of graphics. The picture of Christ here is in the passion of resurrection. The thorn crown is now replaced with a halo which symbolizes holiness. But I am wondering why the hands are still the same position when he has the thorn crown. Just a thought. The poem starts with a humility recognizing the Father. Spirituality is once again the essence of your poem. It shows your faith and I salute to you for that! You should be a great father in your own like as you recognize the Father above. The descriptors you have are nice to visualize: "Shoulders overlapped on timbered oak dry, wearied by dusk and twilight’s sweet mourning, purple stained palms dripping dampered dawning, witness, I, to Holy obedience; sublimated by natural cadence, metered deftly by Divine assembly, orchestrated so high note is trembly." So poetically done! It shines in magnificence! Thank you for sharing, Bob! You have a great piece as always! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-03-08 22:07:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi, You have posted this piece - (again? wouldn't have known that without your note) - and at a very good time for this particular theme. With the release of Mel Gibsons Passion of the Christ - just recently out- this piece is like an extension - of the movie to this reader, and really has moved me this evening. This poem is soulful, thought provoking and vivid in imagery -as the content speaks for itself, but comes to life with your pen. Once again I am in awe. My best to you DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-01 22:45:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Time spent to construct this complex piece must have been outlandish. I appreciate the effort and give you an "E" for it. A fine message, and the form nearly supplants the words. the combination of both provide an absolutely "divine" message. The occasional and disconnected rhymes throughout the piece rejuvenates the reader's attention at very pertinent points of the work. I wonder why the space near the bottom of this shaped poem, however. Am I missing the point? I think you have created an outstanding statement about the sacrifice He made. Befitting at this time of release for the Mel Gibson film. Well done, thanks for sharing with us.
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