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This Poem was Submitted By: Michael J. Cluff On Date: 2004-03-18 16:10:54 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Political Senryu 4

Convenient villian being Jewish nowadays amongst Fontana bigots

Additional Notes:
Reflects the influence of Mel Gibson's latest movie on certain inland Southern California types.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Peter Paschal On Date: 2004-06-01 17:25:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I'm trying very hard to get something from these shorter works. I like the sound of the poem as it flows from the tongue when said aloud...but I really miss your longer, more mysterious poetry. Hope to see more sooner, rather than later.

This Poem was Critiqued By: C Arrownut On Date: 2004-04-04 12:07:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mike, not having seen the movie, maybe I shouldn't critique your poem, but perhaps what I remember from a Catholic grade school about the Jews executing Christ might give me a chance with your poem. I was quite surprised to find that those words came out to the 5-7-5 requirement of the Haiku. And the message is quite appropriate, considering the history of Christianity, which has damned the Jews to hell, based on a couple sentences from the Bible. And if I recall right, it was in the New Testament (written by Christians who knew and followed Christ when he was alive. What I'm getting at is that they were probably very bitter and in a rage over the death of Christ and the betrayal of Judas, a fellow conrad up to that point. Lately I have heard that three books of the NT have the same style, etc. which made me wonder if one person wrote all three and made it look like three different versions. Never can tell about people back then. As for myself, I feel the ones in power were responsible--Romans, who felt threatened by anyone who could get a lot of followers. Guess that's not related to your poem, though. Sorry, got lost somewhere in my own verbiage. I like the way you used all the words except "being." But as I sit here, trying to think of an alternate word, nothing comes to mind. Also, the use of that word implies that the Jews are also victims, because of the Christian reaction over the years, not to mention persecutions. One point on words: why is villain singular while Jews is plural? Shouldn't villain be plural, also. Unless I have totally missed something here. Not sure. Using the traditional haiku structure implies that this prejudice has been going on since the beginning of Christianity, which it has. Anyway, a good poem, but don't send it to the Univ. of Notre Dame Press or Cath. U Press. Not a good idea with that church going so haywire with the protestant fundamentalist right wing. Basically, I like the poem and message, because it's not a politically-proper message. And from my opinion anyway, that kind of message is what the public needs to hear, whether they want to or not. Full of guts and grit. Great work. I too have a relig. poem, but didn't have the guts to put it up. Maybe I will now. G.A.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-04-03 20:37:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ah yes, the scapegoat is ready-made. Bigotry can be so easy to perpetuate when the vehicle is provided courtesy of the big screen, under the guise of "entertainment". While the movie itself may not necessarily contain explicit anti-Semitism - since its protagonist, his followers and his mother are Jewish themselves - the audience's responses certainly can and do provoke such an attitude. Those who are predisposed toward hatred will fix their attention on the villain (sp: ai) that is least likely to evoke a spirited defense. In some quarters, it is acceptable to attack those whose beliefs and ethnicity differs from one's own. Never having been in Fontana, I can only assume that this is one such area in which such prejudices are permitted to blossom unchecked. The word "convenient" is so dismissive, so casual, that it is the perfect choice here. Diction is straightforward, conversational even. The syllable count is a variant, 6-7-7, rather than a strictly traditional pattern. The shift from "villain" to "bigots" is nicely done, a reversal of the identified "bad guy", who thus becomes the very thing s/he most fears - a villain - whereas the so-called "villain" turns to innocent victim. Ironic, and neatly accomplished here. Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-03-29 05:11:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Michael, Another display of your versatility in subjects and ideas, form and style. This controversial entry is direct and honest in its message. It delivers your candid observation and remark. Truly, Mel’s movie brings interesting insights to audience. The movie will be coming next week in our place, the more I can’t wait to see and to know what is my own assessment. This is a clear and lucid reality. A bit serious and mysterious…thanks for posting. As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2004-03-22 17:29:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Dear Mike, I think it would be very interesting to do a series of Spoon Rive type poems on Fontana. Thanks for sharing your reflections, Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-03-19 21:04:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Michael--Historically this view has and will always be controversial/ironic. Your fixed form is technically correct (5-7-5 syllables/three lines/human nature). Vivid imagery created by sardonic descriptors. Thanks for sharing your personal effort. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-19 09:51:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60714
Interesting and well done, but I'll decline to comment about the content, not having seen the movie. - and, I probably won't. I'm not at all a movie fan. The form seems quite satisfactory. Critique nearly as brief as the post. :) Regards. wl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-18 19:44:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi. Mike I guess it really is sometimes hard bringing "culcha " to Fontana, home of the Hell's Angels. but you are head of a marvelous community theater which might, in time, serve to enlighten at least some of those ignorant county bigots. Good pointed Senryu the count of which might be off for some people but which largely works in my dialect

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