This Poem was Submitted By: Cathy Hill Cook On Date: 2004-03-19 12:44:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Inter Dialougue With One's Self

"How’s my grip?  Depends on what trip. Whys that?  Afraid my emotions will scat. Because if I am out, tell how it all came all about... Then I let go of my all.  I have surrendered within my walls. I will loose myself!  I’ll have nothing left! What might happen?  Miscellaneous differing in contraptions. So I hold on tight.... With all my mental acrobatic might. Till my muscles ache. I beg in mercy to relax, chill out for goodness sake. Oh come now this is just a state of mind*@#? In thoughts and behavior is what I find! To call it quits is loosing with egos mental fits. The battle is then lost.  Look what it has cost. Is it worth all that? Where tension manifest itself inside... Twisted distortions emotionally knotted physically sat. Now intellectually I analyze and categorize this mind trip.  With different things my mind brings with mental acrobatic flips. Like Chinese handcuffs pulling hard, fingers caught in the woven mesh tightly inward. A knots in my shoe, pulling and twisting to get it through. It gets even tighter, so I pull and tug like a fighter. I can't swim against the current with any assurance. I remember how to survive! So tired I want to stay alive. Hey the dead mans float! My body is a boat. And all my struggles... Gently go out to sea with no trouble.” That's all God ask of me.  To let go of it all and give it to him and be free. Yes I hear you God!  You are my wake up call".......
Copyright © March 2004 Cathy Hill Cook

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-04-01 06:09:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37736
Poet....your poetry is presented in style with the writing you use but unfortunately for those like myself where this form has most letters running together without a magnifying glass I cannot read a thing. From the title alone though I thought it might be something I do most every day ....have those inner conversations with one self and know it is the good Lord that truely has control over it all. Thank you for posting and sharing these feelings with us, be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2004-03-23 13:54:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Hi Cathy, This internal battle or revery (can't quite figure out which,)reminds me of the internal discussion I used to have when I was seriously dissociated. It takes such energy to keep all that up! You have done a good job off presenting a stream of consciousness poem. There are a few typos that are easily fixed. For example, in line 2, you have "Whys" instead of "why's" I think one thing that would really help the reader to get a better idea of your messege, would be to not have each line start with a capital letter. It just makes for easier reading. I like some of the imagery you used, particularly, "Like Chinese handcuffs pulling hard, fingers caught in the woven mesh tightly inward. A knots in my shoe, pulling and twisting to get it through. It gets even tighter, so I pull and tug like a fighter." The similies work well for the poem, and also permit the reader to identify easily with the problem. There is good internal rhyme in the fifth line of the fifth stanza. I wondered if it would help if you wroter the title "Inter-Dialogue With One's Self"? Good luck with this. I will be interested to read more of your poetry. Rene Fraley
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-03-22 17:03:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
I like this work as representative of the "monkey mind" I can really hear it in this work. It's also a link to the physicality of stress and how it gets internalized. I can feel this when I massage my wife, for example. It's a good visual work and I like it. Thanks, REEG!
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