This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-03-28 15:15:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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"The Passion"

I saw "The Passion" tonight, reluctant eyes transfixed on the screen before me. I witnessed the odious events leading to His crucifixion.  How could His acts of all consuming and unselfish love foster such an insane rage? The flesh of His body spewed His sacred blood as He was pounded and plummeled, but he continued to rise up and take the cross time after time "Take, eat, this is My body" traipsed through my mind as I felt the anguish of His morrow The voice of my soul screamed "Stop, stop, this abomination" my spirit knew they would not and they did not My aching and tormented heart could only sob with each glancing blow.  Every muscle and fiber of my being clenched fist tight.  In the end I could only whisper... "Forgive me God, for I have sinned against Thee."

Copyright © March 2004 marilyn terwilleger

Additional Notes:
The only reason I was able to watch this movie in its entirety was because I already knew how it ended.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-05 22:29:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Marilyn--I don't have anything "to add"--for sure--you have captured the incident and the feeling for us. I am so glad you wrote it. I couldn't. Not only did I not see The Passion, but if I had I'm sure I couldn't have written this piece like you have. Reluctant eyes--that's what I have too, and a lot of people will relate I'm sure. It's interesting that you end it with your own asking for forgiveness, but, again, I was right with you, hand-in-glove through the end, because He died for you and He died for me. Because I assume you will send this out to publishers, I need to mention that I can't find plummeled in the dictionary--was it a typo maybe? pummeled is what I find. (I hate that when it happens-- seems like no matter how carefully I go over stuff, there's always a typo that seems to invent itself. Anyway, thanks for writing this very moving piece. It is doing well in the contest--just as it should! Best, Marcia


This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2004-04-04 09:07:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, a moving piece that touches the heart. The verbiage flows well enough, but could use some tighting up. The message is clear, and mirrors your faith felt feelings. Thanks for posting this personal statement. I also believe giving witness when moved to is always rewarded. My best to you, Peace, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-04-01 17:31:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59375
Marilyn--I almost passed on this one! Why? Well, just the raw emotional contents/verbiage of this free verse was enough to make my tears flow freely-honest! This does not read like a "regular" poem- per se,in my humble opinion, but a cry of total anguish at having watched a pretty accurate depiction (from the gospel) of the greatest horrific event ever. I think the majority of us at one time or another have seen or read some account of this story (crucifixion of Christ),however,your heartfelt rendered comments produce gutwrenching imagery unlike the past. I still have not seen the film, but will make sure I take plenty of tissue when I do and mainly because of your picturesque scenes. I know this was not a norman review, but that's because this was not a norman poem. I am sorry for not commenting on the poetics of the piece. I will do better on your next post-honest. Thanks for sharing this emotional effort with your fellow TPLers. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L. West On Date: 2004-03-31 13:43:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Mom, Reading this poem is nearly as painful for me as it must have been for you watching the film. I have an advantage over others when critiquing your work, you know, because I know the your facial expressions when you are happy, sad, upset, etc. So, I can imagine your tears and for me, that is what makes reading this so hard. The style you have used for this piece is completely appropriate for the subject - you do not even pretend to be an observer of the scene but rather you take the reader along for this emotional journey using "I saw", "I felt" and "the voice of my soul screamed". I am not surprised that you wrote it right after you saw the movie. The emotions and images are raw and strong and overwhelming - showing that there was not any time between the viewing and the writing for any of that emotion to ebb. S2 is especially strong but I have to ask what you mean by "but he continued to rise up and take the cross time after time". I think you are talking about when He fell while carrying the cross but the first image I got was that He was put on the cross more than once. Is that right? The only suggestion I would offer, however, is that you could incorporate the thought you put in the Additional Notes in the poem itself - because that is the whole point - we already know that Jesus won the fight for us against sin by His sacrifice on the cross. (You know I could write a sermon here but I will refrain!) Well, maybe not....if everyone could understand that Jesus' death on the cross was in God's plan from the beginning then maybe there would be a little less finger pointing and assigning of blame. Every human who has ever sinned (that would be all of us with the exception of Jesus Himself) nailed Him on the cross. Without His sacrifice, none of us would ever be reconciled with God. I, for one, am grateful for that plan. Thanks for posting this piece. I think you are very brave to expose yourself emotionally in such a powerful way - (and you did it masterfully). Love, Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-29 18:09:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80645
Hi Marilyn, While reading this piece I can feel the great suspense and I am frightened, giving a goosebumps in my skin. I responded that way because I am seeing at large the terrible Passion of Christ. That is the greatest pain that no man can ever sacrifice himself. I also feel my unworthiness as I recognize my sins. We always comment human as we are... How great Christ is. He descended as a human and suffered terribly! You put everything lively in a poem what is contained in the movie "The Passion". There is thrill, action and terror in your words. "reluctant eyes transfixed on the screen before me" --- this is frightening. I feel the revenge of a person being treated terribly. The threw a question that is participating: "How could His acts of all consuming and unselfish love foster such an insane rage?" This is a great realization that would awaken each one of us. "Take, eat, this is My body" --- Great is the Lord! Sinful as we are still he wants us to share His body for us to be saved. We are all in awe realizing this. This is a powerful stanza for me: "My aching and tormented heart could only sob with each glancing blow. Every muscle and fiber of my being clenched fist tight. In the end I could only whisper..." Great is your response to this Passion of Christ. And I whisper the same... "Forgive me God, for I have sinned against Thee." We humble ourselves to God, asking for His forgiveness and we believe He has the heart to embrace us again after we sin. What a great piece this is! Thanks for this awakening piece. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-03-28 16:16:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82143
Hi Marilyn, I to also witnessed the passion, yes, I screamed each time a whip hit His flesh, I wanted so badly to jump up and scream, why are you torturing Gods son, how can you be so ctuel, yet I knew why, and I also knew he payed a supreme sacrifice for our sins, in reality I saw and felt his passion, the person I was with was laughing at certain points with the interplay between the Romans and the Jewish priests, I said to her, all I see is His passion, the supreme price he was willing to endure for us, I really knew in my minds eyes, the deed was done, mob rule had transpired, and the deed of inhumanity by man was a fact, yet all I saw was his passion, and that of his Mother. I have to be honest I cried throughout this movie, it was as if for me my soul was recleansed, I knew then that what I had been taught is what I was witnessing on the big screen, it's almost as if all the worldly woes that had transpired, the pain, the inability to do what I used to do, was a small price indeed in comparison to what He suffered for me. I thought it beautifully told, all angles, I recofnized the mob scenes, saw the political haggling and realize that we arn't any different now, what happened then could happen now, because for some worldly good and power are all, they don't see or God, yet during the movie you could see the transformation in a core of people that would see the awe inspiring act, it set us on a Godly way, a belief....and I came away believing more then I ever have before. Your poem captures all the nuances, it speaks the language, it understanding the sacrifice through you use of dialogue, more then that I sense the film impacted you deeping, make you, opened youto many possibilities...yes, you poem shows the passion well, I really enjoyed how you proclaimed such profound understanding of what it was about. Thank you for writing it, I was glad to encounter a soul mate throught this poetry. Mell is now resituited, in discomfort, but at least she was able to respond to a critique I did, I was so relieved, for like you my concern has been great, and I feel a great sense of relief to hear from her. I told her you sent an e-mail asking if I had heard anything, at that point no I hadn't. The response just came this morning.....I pray that she will gain strength, and rejoin us full of her ususal vim and vigor. Wonderful poem, easy for me to include on my list of favorites, it's well deserving...Love, God Bless, Jo Mo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-03-28 16:16:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36170
Oh I so want to go and see this movie and have asked my husband to take me but it seems he is not going to so I will have to take myself ........I have heard much about it and I am prepared to sit and let the tears fall......I love my Lord so much and do not care to watch him suffer in pain though I am so grateful for His love and passion that He does allow us to LIVE AGAIN by doing so. Your words are filled with His love for mankind, the suffering He endured for each of us due to our short comings and sins......I have nothing much to say in so far as a critique my dear friend but it pleased me to know you have seen the movie and have shared this with us here on the link. You are an inspiration as well. Thanks for posting , be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-03-28 16:08:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80769
Dear Marilyn, Thanks for being brave enough to post this on TPL. I went to see the movie as well, and I have to say that it was a very humbling experience like no other I remember. It brings home the idea of what Christ really did for us. I know I don't deserve it. I never in a million years could deserve it. But He did it for me just the same. For no other reason then that, I know I must try to live His important commandment. The command to love everyone. Thank you for your tribute to the movie and for sharing how you felt. It means alot to me to know that other people on this site experienced this film and felt the bite of remorse and conviction for sin in their lives. To him you are precious, Marilyn. To Him it was worth it. "Take, eat, this is My body" traipsed through my mind as I felt the anguish of His morrow---I could relate to this as that's what went through my mind as well. I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Bless you for writing this, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-03-28 15:38:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57692
Dear Marilyn, What a wonderful description of a movie that will probably live for all time. In my Church we had studied all scourging meant to the Romans and how brutal it was. I know that other movies have totally sanitized what really happened. Mel Gibson told it like it was. I haven't seen it yet, but we intend to, I will probably bawl through the whole thing, but I know it will refresh my relationship with Jesus. Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts on this movie. Thank God for the outcome. Sherri
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