This Poem was Submitted By: C Arrownut On Date: 2004-04-04 12:12:47 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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As Circles Close

Never-ending loops of the universe speed us on,  caught in repetition for an eternity.  Planets, suns,  cultures, religions climb the hill of dominance to whatever height possible then slide down. Temples of Apollo, built on faults, reigned on the belief in prophesy, their advice sought by generals and kings, especially at Adelphi. Pythias, put into trances by carbon dioxide, influenced world affaires through suggestions and man’s propensity to act  out self-fulfilling beliefs.   But even then science exacted its price: the gas emitted by the intersection of two faults ran out, and with it a sharp decline in the role  of Adelphi High Priests, and subsequently  Paganism.  No longer could humans be  so sure these gods were on their side. Note the Cathedrals of the West slowly decline  due to the masses, who might politely listen, then come to their own decisions about morals and behavior, made possible by advances in science and education.  So common now:  the living will and pulling the plug,  evolution, stem-cell and cloning research,  the ability to date relics from the past, debunking  the belief in the veil of Christ’s face, God’s curse  on Petra, Jordan, and the builders of pyramids at Giza,  despite the sermons of clerics, and terrorist tactics. The final attempt to dictate is the pressure of clergy on politicians just as the Roman High Priests exhorted Nero to stop the spread of Christianity with agonizing  force.  All that rises eventually falls into turmoil. Each circle completes because a new one must begin, even though each renewal becomes lost in nature’s law of repetition.

Copyright © April 2004 C Arrownut


This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-05-06 09:00:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Hi C--(I know I'm running behind and in circles which brings me directly in front of your poem here). This reader feels as though she's been taken through a physics/history class in six well-formatted stanzas. Your first verse starts with the super-large end of things and the last seems to downsize to the tinier, immediate circle of where we/I live. You say each circle completes because a new one must begin. This reminds me of "teeth". Watch on the news last night that we are now able to "seed" a tooth so that a new tooth will grow--at least in mice and we assume...laugh. So then I thought, the reason baby teeth fall out is because the larger tooth is pushing it out---thus your circles that close because a new one MUST begin, even though each renewal DOES become lost in nature's law of repetition (recycling also???) I am quite caught in how tight this is. Lots of us could say it in 3 times the verses, but you have allowed us to "speed-read" all of these thoughts and notions in a short piece. Your temples of Apollo built on faults speaks volumes about so much of what mankind does--and sort of points me toward the biblical reference to build our houses on a rock, etc. etc. (Is "affaires" a typo, or is there a different word I don't know about?--) Without saying it per se, you have referenced a couple of times that water seeks its own level, thus the "poetic physics" that always draws me in. Jordan's Quantum poem is an example as well. This is short because time rushes on and I have miles to go before I sleep. Best to you, Marcia


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-05-03 00:55:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Monsieur Arrownut The universe: the eternal perennial. What a striking concept. What a view of history, ancient and ours. Reminds me of Oswald Spengler's "The decline of the west", his view of the perennial rise and decline of civilisations and cultures following morphologically analogous and hence predictable trajectories. And all our worries about the primacy of religion or science being little more than sophistry in the face of the decline that is always just around the corner, but heading right towards us. Personal notes: You have combined what reads as modern word flow with a visually traditional structure, where my eye/ear seemed to clamour for more traditional tricks of the trade. You win: my reading is not that skillful. Pedantic notes: Is "affaires" of S2 a deliberate archaism or an error? I'm sorry I read this while I was feeling a bit maudlin ... it reinvigorated my personal sense that the end is nigh. In other words, well done. Best wishes, Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L. West On Date: 2004-04-27 13:53:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47059
Hi, Thank you for a very interesting read. Your poem begs the question - are we destined to repeat the errors of the past on into eternity? I like the image of circles because they have no beginning and no end. As you have so deftly pointed out, history seems to be relived generation after generation. As humans, we seem always to be striving for power and influence. And, when that effort can go no farther, the "walls come tumbling down" and mankind is left once again to rebuild. All that rises eventually falls into turmoil. Each circle completes because a new one must begin, even though each renewal becomes lost in nature’s law of repetition This is my favorite stanza - a very sobering reality. You have done a wonderful job of illustrating this rise and fall. Thank you for posting this thought-provoking piece. Blessings, Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-04-16 18:31:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Gayle, I am so glad you are back with your strong strike of poetic ingenuity. We miss it for quite sometime. I considered your poems before to be head-cracking, (smiling), I mean it is hard to me to grasp the meaning as you can notice that I was groping with my critiques. But I have the gut to try understanding it. This one is another interesting poem which is based on facts and your opinions are so strong to manifest. The title "As Circles Close" is very catchy. This could be a metaphor or an interesting analogy. After I read the poem, I could say that it takes a MIND to come up with this poem. A mind equipped with knowledge of history and science. And this mind is not only founded with education but with the ability to squeeze things for reasons and explanations. You talked about the fact and the reason of this fact. "Each circle completes because a new one must begin, even though each renewal becomes lost in nature’s law of repetition." Very interesting correlation of history and natural science if I am not mistaken (hehe!) I can think of the law of Physics. Even how poignant the emotion on earth, it is still subject to the laws of Physics? I am getting sense here? Smiling! Thank you so much for sharing this Big piece, Gayle. Looking forward to reading more of your submissions. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-04-15 14:48:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Okay...you've told us some history, which in all accounts is true and/or believable. But not once have you said where all this is coming from. Like why did you post this? What purpose is it except to maybe verify facts, and knowledge? Where do you fit into all this conundrum? Is this a poem, or a tale, or a newspaper article? That's my take on this anyway.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-04-13 14:03:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
yes. It is downright dizzying. As Circles Close neat title Never-ending loops of the universe speed us on, caught in repetition for an eternity. [they or us?] Planets, suns, cultures, religions climb the hill of dominance to whatever height possible then slide down. yes, it is so Temples of Apollo, built on faults, reigned [nice enjambment] on the belief in prophesy, their advice sought by generals and kings, especially at Adelphi. Pythias, put into trances by carbon dioxide, influenced world affaires through suggestions and man’s propensity to act out self-fulfilling beliefs. yep But even then science exacted its price: the gas emitted by the intersection of two faults ran out, and with it a sharp decline in the role of Adelphi High Priests, and subsequently Paganism. No longer could humans be so sure these gods were on their side. nope Note the Cathedrals of the West slowly decline due to the masses, who might politely listen, then come to their own decisions about morals and behavior, made possible by advances in science and education. So common now: yes it is so the living will and pulling the plug, evolution, stem-cell and cloning research, the ability to date relics from the past, debunking the belief in the veil of Christ’s face, God’s curse on Petra, Jordan, and the builders of pyramids at Giza, despite the sermons of clerics, and terrorist tactics. yes...the circles change shape - but somhow remain circles The final attempt to dictate is the pressure of clergy on politicians just as the Roman High Priests exhorted Nero to stop the spread of Christianity with agonizing force. All that rises eventually falls into turmoil. Each circle completes because a new one must begin, even though each renewal becomes lost in nature’s law of repetition. Really interesting piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-05 13:55:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
C- I very much agree with the message My only suggestion is in this redaction: In each circle, the new begin, In each inscription, incessant repetition. or something like that. very nice. tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-04 18:49:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Welcome back to TPL, I see you've been gone a few months. Well, I was absent for several years, and I came back. :>) Wow, talk of religious philosophy. Powerfully constructed. This goes "full circle". A few possible changes?? influenced world affaires through suggestions - [sp. affairs?] and man’s propensity to act - [I think I'd prefer "act out" on the same line for better connection;] out self-fulfilling beliefs. - [it shouldn't damage the meter or rhythm.] How true - the decline[s] mentioned in S3 & esp. in S4. the living will and pulling the plug, evolution, stem-cell and cloning research, - [esp. nice consonance in these lines] An interesting and definitive correlation between two civilizations - the risings and falling[s]. I see no more I could possibly suggest for improvement. I must go back and read some of your earlier poems, because I wasn't "on board" last year. Write on, and best wishes. wl
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