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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-04-11 09:18:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Who Slew My Daffies?

Who slew those Daffies anyhoo? Cranky old Winter thats who Jack Frost Froze their Noses a Fiesty wind Added to The brew Poor little Daffies all Hunched over Looking like An old sot With a hangover. Happy Easter

Additional Notes:
For those non-gardeners "Daffies" are my Daffodils...which look pretty pitiful after rain, snow, ice, and temps in the 20's..I think Spring came on a Thursday this year!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-05-06 21:45:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.03846
Dear Marilyn, What a humorous little poem. Yes I can see some of my own poor little flowers with their heads droooping with the cold we have been having and the awful wind too. I think summer officially got here today, it hit nearly 90 degrees. It's cute Marilyn, I liked it. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-05-05 17:37:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82353
Hi Marilyn, Your sense of humor shines through on this little ditty. I laughed out loud when I read it, but I'm thinking in your part of the country that probably happens most years. Which makes me wonder how you can keep from getting frutrated about it. Here in Missouri we had a frost night before last which rarely happens. I like the short line structure here, as it's about the length of spring in the Rockies. lol I feasted on this buffet of rhyme and assonance and came away full. The visual of the daffies hunched over is clear as a bell and kinda sad. But they'll come back to play again next year! Thanks for sharing this cute cute poem. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-26 08:47:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63158
Cute little Easter greeting, Marilyn - though sad because of the poor little daffies taking a hit from Jack Frost. That happens to ours quite often, too. In fact, I've seen them buried before with nearly a foot of snow. I like the brevity, but found myself wishing for more "soft" descriptors, maybe to ease the harshness of that late hit from Mr. Winter, but I guess that was the purpose of the staccato lines, etc. So, it does work in that way. When I think of "daffies", I guess I am craving the softness of spring. In other words, I'm not suggesting change for this, for it works as intended. I just want spring to arrive more quickly here, too. I hope your Easter was enjoyable - notwithstanding the poor "daffies". Nice job. Thanks for the greeting. Stay warm and peaceful. Wayne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-04-15 16:35:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Since I have no daffies in my flower garden I guess they are safe from the Spring frost and mother's nature change in plans for there are plenty of other plants of mine that have decided to burst forth and peek up and about only to get dumped on once more......but your words describe such a sad state of affairs for those daffies.......will they not rally and return when the weather warms if you cut them down to the ground? Some do you know....... Love the structure, the easy word flow and the images you present with the flare of your pen....One can see old frosty's face with his puffy cheeks filled with ice air ready to blow on those poor daffies which sit so proudly in your yard ready to welcome in Spring and Easter morn. Thanks for posting and sharing with us, be safe now and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L. West On Date: 2004-04-14 13:24:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mom, Sorry about your daffies. At least the slaying resulted in fodder for a new poem! I think one of the reasons your poems are so popular is that you personify nature and allow us to identify with it. Having experienced spring storms in Wyoming (walking back and forth to school in deep snow with red rubber snow boots that rubbed my shins raw), I can certainly empathize with the poor little daffies hunched over under the burden of ice and snow! Thanks for the smile. Love, Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-04-14 10:28:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ha Ha, this is so cute, with a wonderful rhythm and rhyme by you, who slew your Daffies (cute), and we know old Jack Frost believes in cold storage, but those Daffies will return you betchm they will, and this poem makes me feel the necessity of Spring now, enough ado right now Goodbye Jack Frost, and welcome the sine of Spring the return of Tulips and Daffies too, yes, I think Spring came on a Thurday today, at least that verifies my connection to you, different parts of the country but I love Daffies too. A great poem for those of us who can't grown anything. I did try, wonderful little plant, that was growning and budding, my cat thought so to, so he ate it, guess he's just one of those little varmits, all gardeners contend with, so now I'm nusing what I preceive to be life let in the plant, and my trial starts anew, it'll be a riot if it turns out to be a Daffie, ha ha...Love and God Bless, Jo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-04-11 16:31:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Marilyn--Thank you! Thank U!!--for the timely respite from the more serious postings. Great little humorous ditty that made me smile from ear to ear. How ironic, your "Daffies" also getting a respite from the "serious" winter. Excellent descriptors and analogy/simile creates some vivid imagery. Even though the daffies took a beating, this isn't about gloom and doom, this is about Spring and blooms/birds and bees. Thanks for the laugh. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-11 10:57:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Bless you, Marilyn--and my condolences! Is this the newest addition to your "I Am Fred" book of serious poetry? hoot hoot hoot! What a pleasant Eastern morning surprise for me. You are really rolling them out, aren't you--or are you re-rolling? I know we're not supposed to copy/paste, but it's such an easy way to cover everthing--and besides (Chris) this is short- Who slew those Daffies anyhoo? Cranky old Winter thats who Jack Frost Froze their Noses a Fiesty wind Added to The brew Poor little Daffies all Hunched over Looking like An old sot With a hangover. Happy Easter Title pulls me right in--immediately--I knew what "daffies" were; I have them too (of course, mine think they live in the bananna belt compared to yours!) 'anyhoo'---what halfway-cowboy poet like myself wouldn't appreciate that! Cranky old winter--the personification of winter, followed by the familiar personification of frost (universally known), the froze/nose tickles my rhyme-meter. Fiesty is good adj. for wind (how well you should know that!!!) Daffies hunched over, like cattle, horses and all living things sort of hunch for protection--an old sot with a hangover. Happy Easter (from Wyoming!) is such a laugh. Now, also, this narrowness on the page is something that has always attracted me--can't tell you why, but I think it has to do with the speed that your eye can travel. When I was a kid in Mountain View, we used to go to Salt Lake just before Easter because we had no shops in Mountain View, and their daffies and crocuses, those little hyacinths were all up and looking so spring like. Air was balmy--then back to Wyoming and the things you describe in your cute poem. As an aside, have you read Tom's latest? I laughed until Jim thought he was going to have to seek outside help! Something about Things Old Men ... Let me know by email when you read it. It was on my list last night--the elusive list that dissolves in front of your eyes. The hologram list. Thanks for a great, uplifting read. Happy Easter to you as well! Marcia

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-11 10:45:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Our crocusses fared little better. Snow yesterday. Sweetly done. No suggestions. tom

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