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This Poem was Submitted By: Sherri L. West On Date: 2004-04-14 14:37:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Why is it that.....

the me I see in the mirror is not the me I see in my dreams? Am I changed, fundamentally? Do I deny reality? Why is it that I am a slave to gravity? I will defy senility. I won’t rely On social security nor will I reply to AARP and, I’m getting rid of my mirror.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-05-07 12:05:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86207
Hi Sherri, This is a lighthearted poke of fun at aging! I enjoy the clever use of the title as the beginning of the poem. All the questions show you are questioning the aging process and why shouldn't you. You're not ready for the grave yet! You still have many poems to write, I hope. Because I am enjoying your work and looking forward to more of it. I like the free style form for this and your use of space and of course the use of questions. It's perfect as is. It cracks me up your Mom was worried everyone would think she's ancient because of this poem! My question is this: Is it still fun to drive your mother nuts after all these years? LOL I'm so glad you came to the link! BLessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-05-06 21:42:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.03846
LOL Sherri, This Sherri can certainly identify with the above work. Gravity is certainly taking its toll on my body, even as I struggle to eat healthy, and do at least a little bit of exercise. I have not joine AARP either, right now the way I look at it, this is the best time of my life. And yes, I don't look in the mirror except once a day when I am putting on make up for work!! I really enjoyed this one. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-04-17 14:23:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88235
Sherri--My kind of fun piece for addressing some potentially serious and not so serious issues that we all face as we get older-smile. The tone used by the speaker is not preachy and therefore will appeal to a wider readership, thus, having a better chance for a desired positive affect. If we can't poke fun at ourselves--then we are in a lot more trouble than we think. I like the initial start (first stanza) which belies (I was completely mislead) the sequential increase in humorous antics throughout the remaining stanzas; and all in excellent 'unforced' end rhymes; they seem to flow quite easily while being pertinent to each situation. This was well thought out; is tight with a super twist/turn for the ending (you go girl!!). Write on!! TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2004-04-16 02:09:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Oh Sherri... lol, I love this poem! It's wit and wisdom and so much delight!!! I immediately connected with it. You have delivered a universal message that at once pulls at the heart strings and the funny bone. The phrasing is immaculate, breathy and quick and vital!(like you I would hazard a guess) Even as you pose your questions, we confront these same issues in our own minds. The repetition of the questions, fired in rapid succession are spot on! The way you have used rhyme to punctuate and emphasize works extremely well. They connect in sound as well as mind one following on the one before. It is deceptively simple and yet incredibly rich. Did I say I love this!!! I also like how you repeat the title question of 'why is it that'.... re-emphasizing, stressing how important these issues are to you, dividing them so that we can surround ourselves with these mirrors of ourselves, for there is not one of these questions, or statements, that I've not made myself! This is good... and then to get rid of your mirror... I laughed out loud! It's 2 am and I'm going to bed smiling. Thank you for this wonderful stand up poem with it's challenges and the mirror that you hold up to anyone who reads it. Did I tell you I love this*grin* Lynda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-04-15 16:30:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Oh poet you certainly put a smile on my face as you defy senility, wont rely upon social security and wont reply to AARP.....I've had the same thoughts about AARP thinking if I ignore them, they go away, then I am not a part of that age bracket but unfortunately it does not work that way, thus the chuckles.....nicely structured, love the ending in getting rid of the mirror........a most important thing to do. Your words just flow, bringing the reader along even if they might not want to go but who would not want to take that walk down your words for they are amazing and bring forth images as one seems to age gracefully.....hehehe..... Thanks for posting and sharing this with us.....be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-14 21:58:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.43243
Age is a state of mind. Happy Poetry Month.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-14 20:16:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86111
Hey, Sherri! Nice take on that reflection. I think it applies to many of us. [Note: I sent back all of AARP's stuff in their pre-paid envelopes until they stopped sending it.] I am accepting Social InSecurity, but would never have signed up for it, had I understood the "contract" when I was coerced into it. It is really too late for me to opt out [at 66 and not wealthy]. Back to the task at hand: I don't really think I'd let the title be the first line, too. I believe the title should be only that, and actually repeat it for the 1st line, if necessary. However, that is totally up to you. Only giving an honest opinion. Am I changed, - [Here I go again with that punctuation thing. :) - I don't think this comma is needed.] fundamentally? ..... I will defy senility. - [Do you think a semi-colon might work here?] I won’t rely On social security - [I might put that deleted comma after this line. Food for thought.] nor will I reply to AARP and, I’m getting rid of my mirror. - [Excellent closing line](a surprise - kinda!) I need to turn mine back to the wall, too. Thanks for the excellent post. I like it very much. Write on in peace. Wayne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-14 20:10:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Sherri--like mother like daughter--I'm sure you're sick of that one! laugh. This poem is great fun, and from one who is on social security and medicare--and gravity has done terrible things to my body (haha), I will only say: Good for you--and best of luck!!. Ah, gravity--that physical reality that makes us stay on this earth. Without it--well you know what the smart say! You will defy senility, and I so hope you do--at least as long as you can. You may find that it's nice to have social security there (so you can do a few naughty things that you wouldn't be able to otherwise-- but you can talk to your Mom about that maybe...). The ending was such a surprise to this reader--a comedy really. Such great fun. Aptly titled. Professionally executed. Very very fun. Think I'll get rid of my mirror too--not that it does that much good with my eyes getting older than dirt--but at least I look in it--see no wrinkles--see a 25 yr. old with much wisdom--no scars-- no spot--no blemish--just God's perfect creation. Well, he must have planned it that way. Spotlessly-unwrinkled-ly yours, Marcia

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-04-14 17:43:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Sherri,that is great. I love the attitude that refuses to acknowledge ageing just throw out the mirror... I would only suggest that brevity is the soul of wit and remove some of the words for example the line why is it that, the poem reads better without it. I love this poem though and the suggestion is just a matter of prefference. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-04-14 15:21:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi to my poetress daughter, This is so cute and humorus and will be a surprise coming from your pen to the TPL'ers that read it. I think it is clever and shows great imagination. It is a sign of a good writer/poet to be diversified...it is fine to create your own style..but to be able to deviate from that shows remarkable talent. Besides...as I think you are finding out, I like to 'shake the tree' as it were to make sure everyone is awake. A trait your poor father never quite got use to. So write on, my talented little child, there will be rewards that will fill you up and scratch that creative itch...I promise. Love Mom

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