This Poem was Submitted By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-04-16 02:07:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Hat Language It is a straw Stetson cowboy hat, once shapely and crisp from the factory,
that hangs on a peg by the door.
It is approaching the end of its seasons, and although frayed and fingersmudged, it
is still a possession of great value and in fact has earned Old Comfy Slipper status.
If it could talk, it would tell you of its life in such colorful terms, you would see
the pictures dancing before your eyes—and with such eloquence that you wouldn’t believe your ears.
It would tell you of being lost and tossed about in terrible twisters, of being knocked off
in a river when the pack-string got disoriented. It would talk about miles and miles of riding
fences and ridges in the hot sun and the pouring rain and about rodeos and ropings and dust storms
and hail storms that could—
that could—
well-- could ruin a man’s hat!
It would also tell you of being gently removed by calloused fingers on its crown
in town when a pretty lady walked by, and tipped good-naturedly by those same
fingers when meeting with friends at the local watering hole and exchanging a few stories
over coffee or a good whiskey.
It would describe being placed over a proudly-beating heart while the American Flag passed by
and while The Star Spangled Banner was played by the local high school band. And it would mention
about being held straight down while a good friend was lowered into the ground.
It would laugh as it told you of being left atop a spade, being the hat for the scarecrow,
and having grandkids pull and tug at it to try to look just like grandpa.
It might even mention being worn by Gregor the goat in the Fourth of July parade.
It’s been stepped on, slapped against a pant leg, sworn at, and snugged-down. It’s been circled
and waved and used for a pointer. It has been brandished like a sword and twirled like a pistol--
not to mention being a swatter, a shooer, and a makeshift collection plate!
Its sweat band will forever testify to the hard work a cowboy does.
It knows its days are numbered now. It has seen a brand new Stetson, without spot or blemish,
waiting to be put into service, its smell as delicate as the wheat fields which produced it.
What will become of the old hat? Well, it knows its owner to be a conservative and sweetly
sentimental man, who might carefully undo the straw and add it to the bedding in the barn
where on cold nights, with the Heavens declaring the Glory of God, a calf or a lamb might bed down
and provide the closeness and warmth
to which an old curled hat has grown accustomed.
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Copyright © April 2004 Marcia McCaslin
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-04-26 18:10:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92000
Marcia:
I saw this when posted and knew I HAD to comment and I've watching and
found it today at #45 on my list. So everyone at TPL has told you what
they think but I still want to add my two cents because the poem is of
great appeal for me.
I like the title and somehow knew this was the kind of poem to be read
slowly, tasting each savory word. And one to which I will return when
in a certain mood.
The length and my stamina preclude a line-by-line scan so I will tell you
the parts I particularly liked. Okay? This is a narrative poem and they
don't seem to have rules about stanza lengths or rhymes, etc. I can't
stop myself from mentally arranging it in traditional form:
It is a straw Stetson (cowboy) hat, once shapely
and crisp from the factory, that hangs on a peg
by the door. It is approaching the end of its
seasons and although frayed and finger-smudged,
it is still a possession of great value and has
earned Old Comfy Slipper status.
I already love the hat on its peg and you tell us some of its stories. "Earned the old-
slipper status" is wonderful phrasing. Your fricative allits in frayed/finger echo
with factory/fact/comfy.
I know your hat because my grandfathers and father wore same. I don't know if Wyoming and
Texas hats differ but I doubt it.
A hat would recount its adventures with "eloquence." Love it!
Your Stanza 4 has rhymes and allits and assonance which quicken the pace of the poem.
Rain/rodeos/roping but first lost and tossed, terrible twisters, string becoming upset
and hat goes in river. Riding fence and ridges in heat and blizzards, dust and hail.
How enduring this endearing hat would prove to be!
No matter the water, dust, hail...they could ruin a man's hat! That made me smile out loud.
Stanza 5 finds the frication returned in six vocables which brings harmony to my musical
heart. I can hear the music in your word choices and would guess you are a musician
even if I didn't know.
And of course, our hat which speaks so eloquently would doff to a lady, tip to
friends at the bar. (And on the street, but if in pickup, fingers say hello, hat stays
put, at least in Texas).
Nice rhymes in Stanza 5 as throughout your entire poem.
Your hat of course, would be worn by a patriot, placed over the heart when the nation
is honored and hung in hand at sad occasions such as burials. Your hat not only speaks,
tells a grand and florid tale, but has good manners as well.
Your lovely hat as seen through your artist's eyes is stepped on, slapped, sworn at,
snugged, circled, swatted, shooed, sworded, twirled and collected.
"Its sweat band will forever testify to the hard work of a cowboy."
I particularly favor this line as it states what the hat represents...the theme of
your poem and why the hat becomes a symbol for so many things that are good and
natural and earthly.
Your final stanza deals with the retirement of beloved hat (already spotted the new
one) and what lovely, touching desires it has! To be unwoven and placed as bedding in
barn for lambs or calves and "provide the closeness and warmth to which an old curled
hat has grown accustomed."
That is fantastic and evocative and shows us of what substance the hat is made...and
I don't mean straw. Having given a lifetime of difficult service, its humble ambitions
are to add warmth to a young animal.
Ah, the tender touch you render, Marcia.
I will not belabor the point, but your lovely ode to a hat, representative of all the
same type hats, is poignant and sparkled a touch in my heart. The symbolism of the hat
is as granite-like as Frost's symbolism in his birch tree or path not chosen or mending
wall. You have done a beauteous job and that it why I HAD to comment.
Brava!
Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-04-20 22:49:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45238
A nice warm and fuzzy kind of poem, full of heart and sentimentality.
Tip o' the brim to you.
tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-04-18 15:07:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Maricia, oh Marcia
How I have missed your wonderful western themed poetry on this site. I love this one, telling about
that old hat. I have often wondered if items could talk, what they would talk about. You gave an
excellent example of that. I could see the hat, and the many things that it had served for...as well as the man who wore it. So picturesque and so simple to understand, and full of emotion.
I am so glad to have you back.
Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-04-17 14:39:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marcia:
I enjoyed this poem enormously. It is in a different format than usually seen here,
but there is no reason why a poem has to be in certain form - in fact, it is quite
refreshing to find one that is a 'maverick' so to speak - this seems in keeping with
the theme. Who could possibly begin to read this and not finish reading? You have a
way of involving the reader, of eliciting emotion with your writing that is endearing
and a trademark "Marsha" quality. I recall your writing recently to a poet about their
poem that a poem says as much about a person as it does its subject, or words to that
effect. I think that that description fits you, too, especially in this poem. You
bring out the characteristics of the hat, owner, writer and a whole host of other
things in "Hat Language."
Some of my favorite passages in the introductory lines --
"once shapely and crisp from the factory"
"approaching the end of its seasons"
"frayed and fingersmudged"
"Old Comfy Slipper status"
I can't help but think that some of us who have been long-married could describe our
spouses in these terms, as well.
If it could talk, it would tell you of its life in such colorful terms, you would see
the pictures dancing before your eyes—and with such eloquence that you wouldn’t believe your ears.
You make the pictures dance before our mental 'eyes' in a wonderful way. I got a little mixed
up between 'eyes' and 'ears' in the lines above - then I remembered that the hat is 'telling'
a story, above all. I only need to listen.
Terrific allits/assonance in "lost and tossed" - "terrible twisters" - "knocked off" for example.
I especially enjoyed the pacing given by your spacing below:
and hail storms that could—
that could—
well-- could ruin a man’s hat!
We can feel the hat's distress over the elements outrageous behavior towards
a valued object (itself) belonging to the persona of its human owner. Almost
sputtering in disbelief at the *nerve* of those hail storms!
"calloused fingers on its crown" -- WONDERFUL!
Great internal rhyme of "crown/town"
Someone else is going to suggest breaking the piece up into stanzas. I can't help
myself - I want to do it, too. I know you know how to do this and don't need my
advice. I visualized these lines kind of like this --
"tipped good-naturedly by those same fingers
when meeting with friends at the local watering hole
and exchanging a few stories
over coffee or a good whiskey"
Moderate, polite behavior of the owner, along with the ability to relish life
and share portray the owner of the hat as a warm, thoughtful, "old shoe" kind
of guy who would wear well over time, much as the hat has been worn.
It would laugh as it told you of being left atop a spade,
being the hat for the scarecrow, and having grandkids
pull and tug at it to (make him)look just like grandpa. -- a tiny suggestion
"It might even mention being worn by Gregor the goat in the Fourth of July parade." - my favorite!
I love all of these colorful actions, below:
"stepped on"
"slapped against a pant leg"
"sworn at"
"snugged-down"
"circled and waved and used for a pointer"
"brandished like a sword and twirled like a pistol"
On a personal note, one of my grandfathers was originally a cowboy, before he became
"a railroad man." Pictures of him in youth (few, because back then, there weren't many
cameras around) show him wearing a hat like this. I can easily imagine his hat in all
of the motions you depict for us here.
"Its sweat band will forever testify to the hard work a cowboy does."
In an age of increasing mechanization, factory farming, and corporate conglomerates,
this tribute is especially refreshing and welcome. It makes me sad to realize that
the days when a cowboy's hard work and sweat were a sign of nobility and dignity
may be coming to a close. Disappearing along with the corner drugstore, letters
written in ink and mailed, knowing all of the small business owners in town,
and many other things of value.
"It knows its days are numbered now." --A melancholy, mournful note as sad as a
passing train whistle heard from afar.
It has seen a brand new Stetson, without spot or blemish,
waiting to be put into service, its smell as delicate
as the wheat fields which produced it.
Perhaps a subtle allusion to the way things are done now, compared to the craftsmanship
and practicality of the past. I see the bull (steer?) eating the grain, being slaughtered,
skinned, and the leather tanned and processed into the 'brand new Stetson' with that
'new hat' smell.
What will become of the old hat? Well, it knows its owner to be a conservative and sweetly
sentimental man, who might carefully undo the straw and add it to the bedding in the barn
where on cold nights, with the Heavens declaring the Glory of God, a calf or a lamb might bed down
and provide the closeness and warmth
to which an old curled hat has grown accustomed.
The biblical manger scene suggests itself above, at least to this reader. The dignity of the
"old curled hat" is maintained even as it is recycled into the straw. The "closeness and warmth"
"its owner" is what comes through most strongly. There is more than a hint of mourning here -
and yet, the story is such a comforting one that I feel a greater sense of peace and acceptance
of what is (and what is to come) for having read your poem. There is no other story-teller,
song-writer-poet like you, Marcia. I love this poem and send it and its writer and its
subject every possible blessing and good wish. Brava!! Thank you for this!!
All my best,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-04-16 15:16:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Beautiful touch, Marcia. You make this old hat come alive with the beautiful imagery. It literally talks to the reader. I detect much excellent alliteration, many great similes. This personification of such a mundane object as an old hat is such an accomplishment. I would change nothing, except I would offer one teeny question or possible deletion.
fingers when meeting with friends at the local watering hole and exchanging a few stories
over coffee or a good whiskey. - [why a single whiskey? why not delete the "a" and have more than one? :>)
Loved it,
Wayne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-04-16 13:31:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marcia,
I am excited to give input on your poetry because this is my first time.
I have been reading your poetry since the last month's submissions and
I believe in your poetic ingenuity. This one is rife with symbolisms.
The hat you are talking about represents dignity, service, heroism and
valor. The first thing that popped up in my mind is that the dignity of
those people working under the heat of the son. This made me remember of my father and
grandfather who both farmers. They both wear the hat of dignity and loyal service to
their family.
The poem is descriptive and I like the presentation. It is easily followed
as you give a lot of instances the reader can think of association the idea
of a hat. Thus, Hat Language, as the title is apt. The theme is significant
as it applies to real life especially of men. The poem manifests originality
in style and concept. You included proper nouns like Stetson cowboy hat,
Old Comfy Slipper status, Star Spangled Banner, etc.
What will become of the old hat? A very interesting question which makes the
readers ponder and see the significance of a hat in one's life.
May we'll do our best to wear the hat that declares the Glory of God!
Thank you very much for sharing, Marcia!
Looking forward to critiquing the rest of your submissions (they are way down my list --because they are outstanding!).
Jordan
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