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This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-05-14 19:47:34 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Caprio

We blow into the world, like old gypsy souls in the winds of March. Accept the fact that we're here, learn enough knowledge, to gain the inner strength we need to find courage to retrace our past, then leave it behind, so we can go on building character for ourselves taking each turn, moving step by step in our own direction with love opening the doors, for our minds, bodies and souls to grow.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-06-03 22:18:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61111
DeniMari---there you go again, you Old Soul you! This is excellent--understandable for me and opening the door to YOU wide open. Accept the fact that we're here. It is simple in presentation--has a kind of "take me or leave me" attitude. We blow into the world, like old gypsy souls in the winds of March. Love this opening sentence--very poetic, yet matter of fact at the same time. "old gypsy souls"--yes, that's the way I see you. Wise way beyond your years--always in a little pain, but dealing with it and writing it out of your body and soul. "courage to retrace our past" yes, ma'am, that's exactly what it takes--and that's what you apparently have plenty of. "step by step in our own direction"--what a mind you display for us. Great writing--keep it up--I'll keep reading. Marcia

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-06-01 22:21:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I am very interested in where you got the term caprio from, and what inspired your use of it. I couldn't find this word anywhere on the internet that didn't have anything to do with Leonardo Di Caprio including dictionary.com. It's a pretty word and title, and seems somehow to fit the whole work, so that' what intrigues me about it. Maybe the word capricious? I was just using this in another critique, oddly enough about someone who was writing about the wind. Must be windy everywhere in the world lately... An excellent summary of the spiritual life impulse as I remember it. Great job. Thanks, REEG!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-05-23 11:27:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Dear DeniMari Interesting poem. I wonder if it is really true that we "move step by step in our own direction." I was not clear if the "we" in the poem was all of us or a specific person (e.g. a lover). Nonetheless I like very much where you have taken the subject. I do believe in moving forward with love. Ed Krizek

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2004-05-20 21:30:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Dear Deni, I always get excited when I see your name reappear. I enjoy the passion of your writing voice. The opening metaphor is the strongest visual images of the poems and roots it. The rest is idea or paced on the much used metaphor of our life as a path. I wanted how we blown into the world to be more exact that "old gypsy souls" and for you to build in specific language from that idea. You have a pleasure and engagment in the subject. I want your langauge to match your tone. Thanks as always. Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-05-16 23:01:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
DeniMari, It seems to me this poem is about "soul mates" or someone who "knows" someone in a way that is way beyond normal. A special connection that can be anything from a friend to a spouse. It's so important as you state to know yourself, to face your past and to let it be the past. Living in the present is the challenge we all find in the day to day. Spiritual growth is no small thing. It's tough, it's hard, and it can be painful too. Especially if that process involves facing tough things in one's childhood and finding peace with them. Believe me, I know. That's part of what made me a poet, an observer, one who looks into the depths of a thing and determines what I should make of it. Enough about me. I share what I share just to tell you that your poem is powerful, it has a true message, and it has spoken to me deeply. I hope that was your intention when you wrote it, because you nailed it! Thank you for sharing this one with us here. Warm regards, Don

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-05-15 15:55:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A nice bit of philosophy here. I like the line, "accept the fact that we're here." Some believe that we are all old souls (myself included) for where else would we gain insight and knowledge? There are just some things that are never taught yet we know what they are from deep within us. And love is the only way to go and grow. But I never had parents that taught me that! People were brought into my life that did. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. It's a well constructed piece and works well.I'm not sure how that title fits in though.

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