This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Anne Korb On Date: 2004-05-27 13:13:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Hiding

Hide in the corner Little Jack Horner. Small child peek. Secrets keep. Cut the thorns From round the cage. Be reborn. Turn the page. Tear the bars From off your cell. Seek the stars And leave your hell. Enter life Don’t fear strife. Learn to share Love’s bounteous fare. Leave that prison Take some chances Life is a mission Love enhances.

Copyright © May 2004 Nancy Anne Korb

Additional Notes:
A nonsense poem with some hidden meanings


This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-06-03 13:15:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
I like it a lot, and I see that it's powerful and compact and quite profound in it's simple direct meanings. As for the hidden meanings I can only guess. It's almost like an instruction manual for a large overview of life, or a mission statement for a student at the end. It's hopeful near the end, which is almost a proverb for fiction of any kind, but nonetheless feels good to resolve whatever secrets are brought up at the end. At the same time, some hints about secrets are always tantalizing, so I am not sure what is meant from those, but hopefully the reply will point some of this out for me. Thanks, REEG!


This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-05-31 21:03:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Nancy, All the hidden meanings are perfectly clear to me. It reads like my life. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-05-30 21:57:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
Nancy, You may think the message is hidden, but a perceptive reader would argue the topic is an abused child turning from his/her past, trying to overcome some severe childhood hurts and has perhaps found the faith to do so. I have not read a poem by you before, so I know I am being quite appallingly presumptive. Please forgive me if this has offended you. I am simply responding with my gut as a writer and a reader. Perhaps this poem is more of a mirror than I realize. All of that to say your poem is striking, haunting, and has resonated deeply with this reader. I hope you don't mind my comments, and I hope they at least encourage you to know your writing has touched someone unknown to you previously. Thank you for sharing this with us. Warm regards, Don
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-05-28 19:43:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.32143
Nancy, yes. Nonsense? I don't think so. ;>) This is a very strong poem, with its staccato lines hurrying the reader down your important message. Very well done. I might suggest losing the caps. [again] :>) ...and, even the punctuation in this one, for the line breaks seem to give pause enough, and the periods, etc. maybe too much hesitation. Just a suggestion. In this section, you might try it with deleting the items enclosed below. More brevity?? Tear the bars From [off] your cell[.] Seek the stars [And] leave your hell[.] Thanks for sharing this with us. Please keep on keeping on, too. Again, I wish you wellness, happiness, peace. wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-05-28 08:53:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38462
All in all, very good. Only recommendation: "From your cell" (u don't need "off") t
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-05-27 16:52:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85000
Nancy–A first time critique of your poetry by me and you’ve posted my favorite genre, the rhyme. This piece reads almost like a list poem, (IMO) and making reference through subtle inferences-possible child abuse or at an extreme troubled introvert (first four lines). Starting with line #5, sage advice presented in nonliteral language: no matter how difficult, get away from this situation, move on with your life; you’ve done nothing wrong, tell someone/ report the abuser/seek counseling, etc.,etc. Unusual end rhyme scheme: aa bb cd cd ef ef gg hh ij ij creates an interesting read, with only one really forced rhyme (prison/mission). This excellent poem has even greater potential, if some spots are tighten (“cut the thorns from round the cage” and “tear the bars from your cell” are very similar-IMO). One or the other can be used without being redundant and produce a more concise read. I apologize for misunderstanding your purpose. However, the bits I pointed out was only suggestions. Moreover, I did enjoy what I took from the piece. Thanks for sharing. TLW
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