This Poem was Submitted By: Patricia Gibson-Williams On Date: 2004-07-14 00:57:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Hunger...

Your delectable voice arouses  my appetite. I hunger for you. You speak of consuming the meal that awaits your attention; and hang up the phone – to devour chicken-- before it  (like my heart)  grows cold. I want to become your banquet Feel your teeth -- Gnawing -- on my tender thighs. Relish your lips enveloping  slick skin as you suckle at my breast. Delight in your tongue; savoring warm pungent juices as you disjoint legs in search of succulent morsels. But you want to dine alone. No longer sharing delectable cuisine. I lament nights  spent feasting on  mere memories needs un-tended. -- Ravenous -- I long to call… and beg you for the bones. Patricia Gibson-Little

Copyright © July 2004 Patricia Gibson-Williams


This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-08-02 22:06:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.83333
Whoosh. Hot, hot, and more hot! Where's my towel? A delectible piece I must say. Hmmm. A bit off the ordinary for you but hey, it works well. But I sure wouldn't gnaw on your tender thighs. I would rather sup on them...ahem. Chocolate syrup? Cherries? Yummmy. (he he). But what other tender morsels do you have awaiting huh? Swell poem and nicely done. Did you ever get your wish? C'mon now, be honest. Phew, I gotta run and take a cold shower! Thanks.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-07-28 14:21:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Patti, I read your poem the first day of submission and thought it was wonderful. I am not much of a critic but I would like to comment on how this piece makes me feel. I love the analogy of the eating of chicken and being make love to by your missing lover. I think the way you have presented the topic is very tasteful (No pun intended!) and speaks to every woman who's physical love has grown cold. Fantasizing about how the sex used to be...and now is a memory and wishful thinking. I think you have said it all in few words...electric words and lightning feelings...the cadence is great, as is the line stopped endings which add so much to the feeling of this work. Great Work!! But you want to dine alone. No longer sharing delectable cuisine. I lament nights spent feasting on mere memories needs un-tended. -- Ravenous -- These three lines just blew me away!!!! I long to call… and beg you for the bones. How sad and it rings of the end of a marriage, to me. Bright Blessings Jana
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-07-17 20:17:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well poet you have certainly out done yourself with this one.......my Lord my windows are steaming from reading.....nice structure your word flow brings forth so many images and it is sad to say you are in the end alone.......I see the name change poet....did we marry since the last time you posted and if so Congratulations to the both of you. Thanks for posting and sharing with us.....be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-07-16 16:19:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Hi Patricia, Such a sad tale of hungering love for someone who has lost love. It is sensual and very compelling...I have read it several times. The words lay the poets desire and emotions bare for all to see...the struggle of wanting to call the lover who is the only one that can quench the fire that blazes within the poet's heart. 'I want to become your banquet'...complete surrender...makes me wonder if 'he' knows what he is missing! Very well done..it is sexy and written with complete abandon with images that scream to be read. Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-07-14 21:57:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Beautifully done, sensuous and an interesting metaphor. I like the font selected for this genre, too. Your line breaks and punctuation seem to be in order, as well. How sad unrequited love can be. I believe this is the first piece I have seen from you. If I'm correct - Welcome - and, I'll certainly read more. Now that I've checked out your profile, I know why. I was gone from here for a few years and see that you just returned after a year's hiatus. Welcome back.... and, I will go back and read some more of your work as time allows. Best regards, wrl.
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