This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-07-18 20:57:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 53 (Ecstasy)

Pleasure elevates Up to the seventh heaven Remains in cloud nine

Copyright © July 2004 Erzahl Leo M. Espino


This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-07-29 20:09:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88462
An underlying sensuousness in this one, Erzahl. Imagination takes me way-y-y-y up there. [grin] A pleasure to read this senryu with its perfect syllable count, which may or may not be essential to the English form. Nice job, sir. peace. wrl


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2004-07-20 21:22:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl... This Haiku delights and lifts and separates the men from the boys!!! In its' simplicity, it is profound. To be able to take the form, the restrictions and set them free in such a natural way, is certainly a gift. I know from reading your bio, that this is a challenge you take up gladly and we are certainlly the beneficiaries. I take especial delight in the juxtaposition of seventh heaven and cloud nine, and the connective tissue of pleasure! It is a smooth and spiritual transition and the tone of the poem 'elevates' even as you use the word! Wonderful! Looking forward to more.... and I intend to read back into your other poems to see what other gems lie there.... Lynda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-07-20 07:32:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl-Long time between reads, glad to see your post on my list. The nonliteral language of this Japanese verse is well conceived and provide pleasant imagery of two quite often used adages: "7th heaven and cloud nine." I remember using these phrases many times when something worked my way in amorous and or positive veins. I also recall hearing others make such remarks when things went their way. Thanks for sharing another ditty from your bag of ditties. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-07-19 16:36:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Erzahl, How do you do that? Do you conjure them up from the recesses where the muses hide their secrets from themselves? Are you looking at the same things we all look at but seeing things we don't see? Do they just appear in the pocket of a coat you last wore whenever it was you last wore it? However you do it, please, for haiku's sake, continue. Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-07-18 23:04:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Seventh heaven and cloud nine...now where did those well used phrases first come from and appear.All I can think of is an ice cream cone on a hot summer day; then a dip in the pool. Ahhh extasy. In Yiddish we have a word for it..."Mechiya." I don't know if I spelt that right. But you gotta say it like you're gargling.Thanks. You are the Master at this type of verse.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-07-18 21:32:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Adorable, and well applied. What heaven these three simple lines of you haiku evokes. Very apt, and lovely. As usual you words stir emotion, and bring wonderful thoughts to the reader. No reason for me to go on asnd on, it's well applied, and each lines melds into the others, bringing fuzzy thoughts. Like my dream of floating on a pink fluffy cloud. What a fantantic writer, you never fail to evoke sensation. My best always, Jo Morgan
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