This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-07-23 00:06:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


American Gothic

Sunlight on green grass  and the bird’s songs echo in the breeze. Branches wave freely while an old couple strolls the worn red bricks. He in jacket tie, She in her best dressed Sunday finery, They hold hands and speak in soft voices about the flowers, trees. Briskly they travel toward the pink flower beds blooming bright. And it seems they have always been here, loving spirits strolling.

Copyright © July 2004 Edwin John Krizek


This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-08-06 12:16:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
This poem reminded me of a scene from the movie “Armageddon”. A.J. and Grace are lying in the grass, under a tree, giggling and being mushy. Soon A.J. will be rocketing off into space to save the world and Grace asks him, “Baby, do you think its possible that there's someone doing this very same thing at this very same time?” A.J. replies, “I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?” Your poem is in the same category of emotion, but you’ve captured this feeling from the other end of the spectrum. There should always be the cute old couple strolling together. You’ve captured the hope that we won’t grow old alone in a soft new way. Instead of dreading my ‘golden years’, right now, after reading your poem, I’m looking forward to being old with my spouse and walking in the park with him. I’ve been looking forward to being the crazy, scary lady down the street, but you’ve reminded me of something else I have to look forward to. Thank you. Kay-Ren


This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-07-24 10:57:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
John--I think this is my first time reviewing any of your work, however, I 've observed this scene before: an elderly couple (married as long as your and my age) strolling hand in hand, enjoying nature's simple delights and in no rush (never briskly-smile). The ones I've seen are in various dress, depending on the weather, from casual (her shawl-him sweater) to what the speaker sees. Excellent upbeat allits (green grass; hold hand; they travel toward the; beds blooming bright; spirits strolling) combine with other verbiage to paint a picturesque image an give the piece a nice rhytmic tone. This couple appear to "...have always been here..." because they do not disturb the balance- they are in tune with/part of this vivid imagery you've penned. Thanks for sharing (IMO) a fond scene of "Americana". TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-07-23 19:58:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ed: This is lyric poetry at its best and by far my favorite of all your poems I have seen. Perfectly metered with subtle and slant rhymes and although no quixotic, fancy words, a lovely portrait finely drawn. I think the poem itself is quixotic and fanciful as well as a moment of ordinary life. You have chosen couplets which seem perfect for your theme...there may be a name for this form of six couplets with five syllables followed by ten. I'm not well educated about poetry. Your title calls to mind that famous painting of the couple, he with pitchfork, but I cannot recall who painted it. This seems apropos for the quintessential elderly couple, almost part of the American landscape as they walk together, usually hand in hand. (The painter is Grant something). Sunlight, fresh grass, bird song echoing in the breeze. Worn red-brick sidewalk, older couple in their Sunday best. (I've noted, too, that the oldsters tend to dress more formally than even the middle-aged, no matter the occasion). They speak softly about the nature that surrounds them: "pink flower beds blooming bright." Nice alliteration. Your ending is the heart/theme/core of your poem, IMO. "And it seems they have always been here, loving spirits strolling." That was what I was trying to say when I said part of the landscape, only your phrases are poetry. One tiny, picky point, Ed. You say they are strolling (twice), then use the adverb "briskly" to describe their travel. I think of strolling as slow as in meandering, taking their time. "Briskly" can easily be changed to slowly, onward, abreast, smoothly, etc, etc. Very minor and picky point. In toto, this is a winner and all I can say is Bravo! Best, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-07-23 19:30:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Neatly formed couplets, and so relaxing to read - with the simple, yet explicit, imagery. A reflection of times past, and aptly named. I truly enjoyed this, Edwin. Serenity surrounds every word, even in S5 with its hard b's, k's, and t's. I guess it only takes a single "oo" to calm me. :>) I wonder in S1, if you meant that the single bird sings more than one song, or is the apostrophe misplaced? How about a comma between "jacket tie"? That's it - and I just got a call. Gotta run. My best regards. Peace wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-07-23 17:56:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Edwin; I haven't critiqued any of your poetry previously, but I am happy to stumble upon this one. I read your Water Lillies earlier today and I thank you for inspiring me to look up the origin and form of a villanelle. I hope to try one in the future. American Gothic is a great title, with of course the twosome holding in front of the barn being in my head at first. I love the title because it seems to be a commentary (to me) on how we all take our time in relative protection in the garden or on a quiet sunday for granted, as we watch the world go by in peace. Quite a contrast from real world events. Many mornings I have sat out on my deck writing many tributes to the beauty that is close by, including the beauty of a seemingly happy couple or individual and how they relate to their world. In your poem, I could see the sunlight, green grass and could clearly hear the chickadees and cardinals in my yard. A peaceful moment that is eloquently expressed and shared. Thanks. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-07-23 01:02:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Edwin, This is a sweet sensation! This is full of inspirations and the colors are vibrant! You gently captured that "beauty of nature" with your fresh and delicate words. These are like "whispers". The persona of the "old couple" is eternal! The images keeps on pounding on my head...inescapable! Thanks for sharing this for us to enjoy! I find this "short" but "complete", "simple" but "profound". Great job! Best, Erzahl :)
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!