This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-08-22 07:42:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 57 (Photographs)

Windows from the past Captured that special moment Forever to keep

Copyright © August 2004 Erzahl Leo M. Espino


This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-09-09 23:32:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ah, my good friend...albums of the soul. I enjoyed this digital snapshot of the mind. In black and white you produced color and count. It is a Kodak moment all by itself! Nice to see you again. Blessings, Andrea.


This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-09-04 12:40:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.74194
Ah, the Master is at it again. Succinct. I used to have a Zen Master that thought photos were a waste of time because they only captured the past. Stay in the present he said, which is really true but it's nice to go through photos with friends who weren't there at that moment isn't it? Good work ELME. BTW, what does the M stand for?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-08-31 09:28:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Upon looking through a box of old photos of many many days gone by I often wished people would write who was there in the photo, when it was taken and then it would be perfect. I once had a photo in which I was in and the picture of myself faded but not the rest.......I often felt as I looked at the photo of my family back then I was dying and I was......Is that not strange....today the photo is as clear as day .....good structure, your words have created images as one feels with words ......and memories are allowed to spring forth as one might want or need them. Thank you for posting and sharing with us. Be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-08-22 16:31:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Erzahl: You have a way of 'capturing' a moment in your poetry, "forever to keep." This poem is as vivid as a photograph, and in my mind it stimulates images of pictures past and present. I am certain it will also be vivid in the minds of other readers, as well. I especially love the first line's "windows from the past" as they describe or show photographs to be merely 'windows' and not the persons or things themselves. The window allows us to time-travel, and moments and events simply cannot be stayed. But the photograph itself is truly "forever to keep." Lovely, evocative as are all of your splendrous Japanese verse creations! You keep me inspired to look at things through the lens of your (camera) poetic eye-view. Many thanks for this offering. Kudos once more! All my best, Joanne PS Some may say present tense for 'capture' may work more effectively. I think it works either way. Best wishes!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-08-22 15:55:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Erzahl--This excellent Senryu is so right on: I can't imagine any reader(s) of this piece not agreeing totally with the sentiments of your non-literal verbiage. I person- ally don't recall knowing anyone who doesn't have some type of camera. For years our entire family (to include kids) has used and still uses cheap "one time use cameras"). As a military veteran of some 22 plus years I've traveled to many foregin places alone with my family, friends and others, I can assure you I have a myraid of these "Windows" you allude to. Moreover, I can verify "capturing" some very, very "special moments" that if not for these "Photographs," I myself would find it hard to believe the experiences shown therein. Thanks for this great reminder of how we can literally keep forever, our special moments. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-08-22 14:25:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
past, moment, keep, how much better could three lines give a thumbsnail scetch (pun) of photographs, or pictures as we here in the States think of memories these pictures bring. Not a haiku count, doesn't matter, it doesn't deal with nature, but more then acceptable in Western style, and Erzahl a neat job, especially when one thinks of such a common thing, something, most of the time we take for granted. Like it, and its projection, and a great job of presenting a total image of the intent. Been a while, usually you post before this point of any month, but reassuring to see your name. Best of luck, Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-08-22 13:14:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.75000
Can I write haiku question vibrating escapes captured by your words
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-08-22 13:08:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Really interesting thought is captured here. Windows from the past Captured that special moment Forever to keep perhaps if it were: windows from the past "Capture" that special moment Forever to keep the present tense would add to the idea that the moment is not gone. It is good to see your work again Erzahl. Best, Rachel
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-08-22 07:53:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Erzahl, I just visited shortly from the long break and your submission lures me to give critique. I missed TPL, I have no enough time these days, so busy. This one is captivating. The theme itself is enticing. I am fond of photography as well. You showed simplicity here yet you've painted a lot to keep forever. Thanks. I hope I'll have more time here soon. Jordan
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