This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-09-10 15:14:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Enough2 It is enough to live
and awake to a morn
that is fraught with life’s cares.
It is enough to love
in the turmoil of rage
in the spring of small hopes.
It is enough to sing
of the joy and the pain
of a life that is good.
It is enough to lie
in one’s bed in a home
that makes love a great boon.
It is enough to dream
of the simple and small,
not the feats of the gods.
It is enough that you
in the mildest and slightest
come to know what deeds count.
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Copyright © September 2004 Edwin John Krizek
Additional Notes:
I am trying to find out which of two poems works better. They are called "Enough" and "Enough2". One is free verse the other is metered. If you read this please take a moment to look at "Enough" and let me know what you think.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-06 23:04:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84375
Hi again Edwin,
I am critiquing this poem 2nd. I see the similarities in the two poems. This version seems to be a little more condensed (word count). It's not a significant change in the length, but the stanzas are less wordy in this version, and the interesting thing is that I like both versions.
This version reads more smoothly, and I also think that there's more "light" in each stanza. The other version left me feeling as though we have a lot to fix in life, but we don't have a clue where to start or where to jump into recreating something more meaningful.
However, I feelt that this poem is more encouraging to seek after that which is good. I don't know why, and i've looked at the two poems.
I have reviewed the other poem, and I did like it. It stood very well on its own as a very good poem, but this version sheds a whole newer light on the ideas that you present.
I'd actually like to see you keep them both as poems, Enough and Enough2. It's been said and done. Who knows? You'll probably be inspired to write Enough3.
I enjoyed both poems. I particulary love the insight to deeper human issues that you present in these poems. Thanks for sharing these at TPL. I look forward to reading more.
Latorial
www.latorial.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-09-17 22:18:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55556
Dear Edwin,
I've just read both of these poems and I'm going to say I like the first one much better. I'm going to go back to the first one and critique in full my reasons why.
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-15 15:19:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Poet.....I have read both poems twice and I must say this one touches me more.....it reads better to me, it provides more personal images then the other.....though the other is fine.....it is just my preference.....
Liked the title as well as it is fitting this poem.....thanks for posting and sharing with us. Be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2004-09-15 09:59:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear EJK;
You asked so I have to tell you that
I like "enough" better than enough2.
Come to know what deeds count...is a less
definitive ending than enough where I believe
you said a man knows he counts...more precise
definitive and correct..IMHO..
Like both poems....shake them up in your word processing
program merge/delete/fine tune and resubmit.
Thanks for the opportunity to read both...
Gerard
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-09-13 12:58:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Edwin,
I have placed my comment on the first poem, which I like better than this format. Both versions bring about Spiritual elevation and I really love that.
Bright Blessings
Jana
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-09-11 20:44:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Edwin,
After reading both poems I believe I like the form of this one the best. It just
seems to flow better for me. Having said that...the message in these poems is so
uplifiting to me and I am sure to anyone else reading it, as well. To have the treasures
that you speak of, is quite enough...so many people go through their entire life struggling
to get more than what they have attained and if they would just look around them and
stop long enough to smell the roses they could see that they actually do have enough. Of
course one must understand that the homeless and the terminaly ill may not have enough but
perhaps at one time they did and they just did not know it. Also I believe that a
positive attitude, which you have so poetically outlined here, is the key to success in
whatever path we choose to follow. I have just posted a poem here that alludes to this
same subject. Thanks for posting this one.
Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-10 19:07:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
I think enough has more depth in its lines, So that is the better of the two thanks for letting me read and comment.
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