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This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-09-13 11:56:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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4 Fleck of the Sun

Goldenrod and thistles wave Red birds haunt the trees Late summer sun warms the soul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-14 19:15:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This sings of beauty, of fall, of motion as the goldenrod and thistle wave, one can catch a glimpse of the red birds that still haunt the trees and to feel the late summer sun it certainly does warm ones soul.....great job, true to form....thanks for posting and sharing with us. God Bless, Claire Just for the record....love your bright blessings........they warm my soul........

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-09-14 18:01:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Jana, This is nice - really nice and heartwarming. It's also true - I absolutely love this time of year when the season is about to change - I live in the East and look forward to this every year. I don't see anything that should be changed - I enjoyed it just as it was written. Sincerely, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2004-09-14 06:55:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Jana, "Red birds haunt the trees," I love that line. This is a devine little Haiku, from the first word to the last, it seems to be one single thought, goodbye to summer. Makes me think of maybe Alabama, lots of goldenrods and thistles, red birds, scrumptious sun and warm souls. There is nothing to change about this, it is perfect just as it is. This is a lovely poem, almost the color of fall. Best this month and always, Jana Wanda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-09-13 15:22:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Jana--Vivid imagery of nature scenes created by this colorful "western" version of a Japanese haiku; Gold-en-rod and this-tles wave (7 syllables) Red birds haunt the trees (5 ") Late sum-mer sun warms the soul (7 ") This is quite picturesque and calming. Thanks for sharing such wonderful images. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-13 15:09:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.95000
This time the breeze is implied by the wave, the word haunt in line two I really like because I picture the birds peaking out of the trees and flying when they think the time is right, the suns heat put a warm smile on my face, probably because now that it's sept. the warm days are drifting off. Thanks for letting me read and comment.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-09-13 12:17:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana: Ooh, I love this! Your poem also "warms the soul" with the lingering imagery of life's continuity, of the rhythmic enlivening of all about us, though the seasons change. The golden rod and thistles of the first line wave, as if in salute to summer's imminent departure. But I love best the second lines red birds, who "haunt the trees." It is the ghostly nature of the word "haunt" that suggests a strengthening of spirit/soul with change. The vivid color red suggests that life does not diminish now, but takes on even more intensity if we are open to seeing what is being spoken by nature's denizens. You are on a definite roll with these delicious, evocative poems. Keep them a-rolling, please! Exquisite! My best always, Joanne

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