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This Poem was Submitted By: Michael J. Cluff On Date: 2004-09-18 16:56:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Seattle

Corpses are not camera shy do not mind their coffins being viewed by others. It does not insult them, being blanketed warm, at least to the standards of the living, and finally safe inviolate from the vagrancies of peace and.... war. And photographers are fired for taking pictures, snapshots, of flag-draped closed caskets returning from war-zoned Iraq. The "Seattle Times" published the photos at possible 'government upset' yet.... you can't fire a newspaper only people..... "älack the day" thinks the military on this issue and most likely definitely so on other points of any disagreement.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-10-06 08:38:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I think there is hope for the world when I read this kind of protest poetry. Corpses are not camera shy [incredible beginning } do not mind their coffins being viewed [-by others I think "others" is understood]. It does not insult them, [to be]blanketed warm, at least to the standards of the living, [great great play on "standards of living" and finally safe inviolate from the vagrancies of peace and.... war. good reversal of the phrase [-And] photographers are fired for taking pictures, snapshots, of flag-draped closed caskets returning from war-zoned[neat expression] Iraq. The "Seattle Times" published the photos at possible 'government upset' yet.... you can't fire a newspaper only people..... "älack the day" thinks the military on this issue and most likely definitely so on other points of any disagreement. yes, just so hey, Mikey How is the acting coming? What happened at the chance audition? Stop by sat morning and get aomw Kerry Kake and join our discussion about the war.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-10-04 18:01:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Michael, how are you? Lovely to see a poem of yours on my list. :) This is a true situation?? I hadn't heard about it but it sounds pretty appalling. You mean it is illegal to take photos of closed caskets occupied by deceased service personnel, shipped home from Iraq? Those first two stanzas offer a detached reflection on the state of the body after its death. It has no will, no feelings. It can end up in an anatomy class or a veterans' cemetery with equal indifference. "Being blanketed warm" seems almost paradoxical, considering the coldness of both corpse and earth. The separation of that single word, "war", signals a shift from theoretical to actual and from the speaker's musing to his reporting of a current event. "You can't fire a newspaper/only people". Yes. Likewise, it is people who lie in caskets, but their humanness has been stripped away by death and now they are cellular collections awaiting interment. The personalities, the spiritual elements, are imprinted into survivors' memories and, one would hope, also translated into another dimension. Why is it, then, so offensive to photograph a box, and a flag, neither of which is unclean, mortal or even animate? So the issue must be because these coffins are tangible evidence of American casualties in a war that was supposed to have been over some time ago. They suggest that the US presence is less than effective. Soldiers on the winning side don't die when the war is finished. So ... it's not finished. Heaven forbid we should be allowed to think that way! Your closing word, "disagreement", is very apt. The forces of war and government hate awkward questioning. Of course, it's only awkward from their perspective; everyone else just needs some answers. Unfortunately for the military, opposing opinions have a way of snowballing and suddenly there's a full-scale investigation. A challenge to its authority, in a word. Unthinkable! Got a link to the story? I do watch CNN but obviously missed it. Thanks for posting this informative poem, which is well-written, very clear and evokes the precise questions that some might wish to avoid! Cheers, Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-02 11:56:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Michael, as a military spouse, I can certainly appreciate this poem. My husband returned from a year of duty in Iraq a few months ago, and the world moved on. We still have many friends serving in that God forsaken country. Getting to your poem, I think Seattle is a good title. However, I had no clue what it would be about. But, my interest was peaked enough to read it. I knew it would be about something or someone in Seattle. When you love to visit new places, and meet new people, this can happen. These are probably the types of readers this poem will attract. I think that you have poetically revealed a commentary on what happened in the situation. Your opinions are here, but not so strong that they disturb anyone who differs with your opinion. Are you into news reporting or publications? If so, I could really see how you make a good reporter. The poem begins very, very strong, and this is necessary. This was great. Corpses are not camera shy (great phrase; and there's some great alliteration of the c's here in this stanza) do not mind their coffins being viewed by others. This entire stanza is really stunning. It stunned me as a reader. In fact, I had to read it twice. Death and dead bodies aren't often spoke of so casually, but you set a marvelous tone for what follows. In this line, you're not forceful, but the opinion that dead soldiers wouldn't mind having their pictures taken rings out in these lines. In fact, it's probably more of an honor than what our government will attribute to them. It does not insult them, (and why our gov't would find it insulting, I don't know . . . actually we do know) being blanketed warm, at least to the standards of the living, and finally safe (this line is so meaningful --FINALLY SAFE-- as our gov't continues to lie to us about it) inviolate from the vagrancies of peace and.... war. (so effective here that you take your time and bring some silence to this poem, a silence that causes this word to really sink into the readers mind and think about what you've just said. It's profound to think of the aspects of war and what it does to politicians, the people and the soldiers fighting it) And photographers are fired for taking pictures, (these 3 lines are ASTOUNDING; to get fired for what you're hired to do; powerful thought, only in America) snapshots, of flag-draped closed caskets returning from war-zoned Iraq. (again, this stanza is as mesmerizing as the first, again we have the alliterative c sounds; the wording is perfect, the style of the lines gives a drop down reading effect which makes the overall meaning and reading so much more poetic.) The "Seattle Times" published the photos at possible 'government upset' yet.... you can't fire a newspaper only people..... (and this is a sad commentary) "älack the day" thinks the military on this issue and most likely definitely so on other points of any disagreement. I think we have idiots running the country and the intelligence fighting the war (smile). I think that these last few years will cause the world to really sit back and evaluate what it means to be a soldier, what it means to be a citizen and what it means to give power to political leaders. Thanks for sharing this poem at TPL. You have certainly made me dig deeper as I reflect on a year of war during an election time. Good luck with your writing. Great poem! Keep on writing and provoking the thoughts of readers. Latorial www.latorial.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-21 17:37:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Good structure and word flow bringing forth images as one reads on.....the emotions involved are grabbing as well....I have no suggetions for to me this reads just fine as it stands on its own......thank you for posting and sharing with us. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-09-21 15:16:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68750
Hi Michael, I have read this poem several times and each time it leaves me with a sinking feeling. I can't understand why anyone would be chastized or fired, for that matter, for reporting the hells of war. Too many people with their heads in the sand, I guess. You have written some stark images with your pen....corpses are not camera shy...finally safe..it does not inviolate (great word) from the vagrancies of peace and war (like the way you defined 'peace and war' with large spaces has a deffinite impact....flagged draped closed caskets...a scene that has been seen by many...you can't fire a newspaper only people.' Well written piece with an horrific message...only in times of war can this be written and understood...good job. Peace....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-18 19:13:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20513
It can be tough at times to critique when you see little in a poem that you would change, Still I find any changes people suggest at least gets me thinking, no matter how bad so heres mine; the line; being blanketed warm I like; cold cadvavers blanketed warm and next insulated from the standards of the living Well that just some suggestes to chew on,Thanks for letting me read and comment

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