This Poem was Submitted By: Edgar Alan Pierce On Date: 2004-09-21 11:00:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Dark Angel Angelic essence -Demon curse
Fighting light and dark
Fighting person and self
Never finding center-always off count
Angel fighting the good battle-loving,careing-trying to be ones self
Demon taunting-Fighting evil,hate-Clawing at flesh like wild animals on prey
Fighting to keep one in control
Fighting to keep one alive
Ever fighting but ever losing ground
Keeping love an compassion away-in fear and of guilt
Fighting hate and evil from lashing out affecting innocent
Ever searching-longing for the inner love and inner peace
Damned to a life of suffering and hateing oneself
Fearing death again-fear of rebirth of a Dark Angel
Dark Angel--One who is cast from heaven and from hell
Dwealing in life -ever surviving never enjoying
Allow the Angel to touch in love
Deny the demon from unleashing havoc
Angel eyes - Demon blood
Seeing from both views -yearning to give in
Demon with a conscience
Angel with hate
Two exremes- never finding center
Fighting another day - with the reality of a living hell
What the Dark Angel wants is simple an true
To find peace,understanding and love so true-without a Demons taunt of guilt and hate of the underserving state
Dark Angel walks alone-for knowing no one can touch without being burned
The Dark Angel projecting the image you long to see
Ever hiding the truth in fear it would destroy
So I end now with a word of advice-
Know and be true-rejoice in the real you
While the Demon only can touch you--it shall live within me
Love is the light
Hate is the dark
Dwealing in neither there is only nothing
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Copyright © September 2004 Edgar Alan Pierce
Additional Notes:
This poem is one I wrote from how I see things in my life..I relate to that of the Dark Angel..
This is just a brief glimpse into my world..
The way it is written is just the way I found the best to write it..
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-07 09:27:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Edgar,
This was quite a complex poem here (smile). I try not to dabble with thoughts of evil too much, but your title peaked my interest enough, and I am glad that I took the time to read your poem.
You deal with issues in your poem that I think most people deal with in everyday life. Sometimes we feel alone in the way that we feel about life and death or good or evil.
I think that your poem is a closer evaluation of the yin-yang concept. You take us deeper.
Dark Angel could suggest many things. It could be about fallen angels now in hell. Never in my wildest dreams did I think your poem would take the spin that it takes.
The very first line "Angelic Essence - Demon curse" is the epitome of what pretty much follows in every line, except you get even more creative with the polarizations, and I think you exhibit to readers just how in depth this good/bad or love/hate intrapersonal relationship can become.
It's a struggle inside that often illustrates its moods to the outside world.
I think that you have offered a very interesting piece here that is thought provoking and life changing. Thanks for sharing it at TPL this month. It made me really think about some of my own issues and how blessed I am to be able to recognize them and improve. Great poem.
Latorial
www.latorial.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-09-29 18:43:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
EAP, A lot of imagery, but several spelling and grammatical errors, too.
Spaces should come after commas, before and after hyphens except when joining compound words; I found the extra-long lines quite distracting and would suggest a more uniform format. There appeared, in my opinion, to be many unnecessary capitals in mid-sentence (another distraction - for me at least).
Angelic essence -Demon curse
Fighting light and dark
Fighting person and self
Never finding center-always off count
Angel fighting the good battle-loving,careing-trying to be ones self - [caring]
Demon taunting-Fighting evil,hate-Clawing at flesh like wild animals on prey
Fighting to keep one in control
Fighting to keep one alive
Ever fighting but ever losing ground
Keeping love an compassion away-in fear and of guilt
Fighting hate and evil from lashing out affecting innocent
Ever searching-longing for the inner love and inner peace
Damned to a life of suffering and hateing oneself - [sp. hating]
Fearing death again-fear of rebirth of a Dark Angel
Dark Angel--One who is cast from heaven and from hell
Dwealing in life -ever surviving never enjoying
Allow the Angel to touch in love
Deny the demon from unleashing havoc
Angel eyes - Demon blood
Seeing from both views -yearning to give in
Demon with a conscience
Angel with hate
Two exremes- never finding center - [typo - extremes]
Fighting another day - with the reality of a living hell
What the Dark Angel wants is simple an true - [typo - and]
To find peace,understanding and love so true-without a Demon[']s taunt of guilt and hate of the under[-]serving state
Dark Angel walks alone-for knowing no one can touch without being burned
The Dark Angel projecting the image you long to see
Ever hiding the truth in fear it would destroy
So I end now with a word of advice-
Know and be true-rejoice in the real you
While the Demon only can touch you--it shall live within me
Love is the light
Hate is the dark
Dwealing in neither there is only nothing - [sp. Dwelling?]
Just a few pointers. Hope they help. wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-09-27 14:47:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73913
Hi Edgar,
I am always pleased to see a post from someone new to TPL and I hope you will continue
to post your work here. I have read this piece several times and every time I can feel
the sadness and stuggle of the poet to find himself. The struggle , of course, is
between what the poet feels is his 'dark side' and his truer side which is one of love
and compassion. The demonic side is always fighting for control of the poet's inner being
which is not at all a demon even though the poet may feel it is. This is a very
interesting and compelling piece and since it is the first time I have read anything from your
pen I feel I should not try to take it apart and analyze the intent. If you have received
any other critiqes I am sure someone has pointed out the spelling errors and you don't need
that from me as I am only interested in the impact of your words. Keep writing and I hope
to see another poem from you soon.
Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-21 17:19:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Thank you poet for posting this poem and allowing us to look inside your life or some form of it.......to be honest I prefer the light to the darkness unless it is the darkness of night and that to be is calming......
try using your spell check and you won't have so many spelling errors which is often just a slip of the finger on a key.....do it often myself.....the emotions you send forth with your words poet
reaches out and grabs one as they read and your words further produce images as you travel on.......again, thank you for posting and sharing.....be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-21 14:05:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.21739
In line ten - love an compassion - should I believe be-love a compassion, also in line
-suffering and hateing oneself - hateing should be spelled hating, In the line- Dwealing in life -ever surviving never enjoying, is dwealing supposed to be dwelling, if not I'm not sure what word you were after. Interesting poem though thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: joshua p shelton On Date: 2004-09-21 12:23:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
the essence of the poem is obvious... an internal struggle with the world
and one's place as an outcast within it. how do you embrace the society that shuns you?
a common theme for poets/writers.
"a prophet is never welkome in his/her own town"
-someone famous-
if i might suggest........
the imagery your painted in your work...
"Clawing at flesh like wild animals on prey"
seems to be a bit trite or cliched.
the journey toward self-realization or self-acceptance is brilliant however.
i can relate to that feeling of loss/despair/anger.
while you painfully paint on a smile each day.......
.......inside the moon and darkness shine darkness.
brilliant.
-jps-
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