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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-10-11 15:17:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Moon Haiku #3

Tangerine full moon, glowing jack o’lantern orb flirts with the high stars

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-11-06 20:26:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80769
Joanne, I see I should have read this one last week end for Halloween. And it has a completely different personification. Very dazzling with color and light! "Tangerine full moon"--Tangerine is like the perfect shade and ties right into the next line. "glowing jack o'latern orb"---wonderful description of the full moon! "flirts with the high stars"--I think maybe he's trying to steal more light like the sun's light wasn't enough! Thinks he can get in good with a couple of those sparkly stars! Well, I can see it was definately worth dedicating three Haiku to the moon! I have a feeling you could probably come up with a forth, knowing you. You are going to have to publish all these Haiku in a book, you know. Now for the trees! BLessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-11-01 22:26:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joanne, Again, another beautiful rendition for the subject “Moon”…a different color, a different shade and a different shape – this time it is the fullness of its grandeur. I’m glad you use the color “tangerine” for I immensely like the color “tangerine”, actually I have one that describes my upcoming “Sunset” haiku as “tangerine pearl”. Ok, enough of my work and back to you…this one again, like the others…have its own distinct character. From the playful second line “glowing jack o’lantern orb” to the exotic third line “flirts with the high stars” - this one is another winner in lyrics and in imagination. You have set a magnificent mood that is haunting and inescapable! Another standout! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-10-25 21:35:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81481
I love the harvest moon, it sits on the horizon as if she it is the singular impetus of the harvest and life itself. That "halloween" and the autumn colors coincide with the final harvest, the grain harvests, and the preparation for winter, is less of providence and more of design. Harvest moon, full and engaging, jack o'lanterns-lighted personification of that without substance, and the evening that shares both. So also is the rectory erected to the moon, of substance in our souls, but in actuality simply a natural part of the universe. flirts with the high stars, the high stars, the "wanderers" those that cavort with the moon in all of it's phases, and the stars most apt to have commonality with the moon. A very picturesque piece Joanne.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-10-25 11:45:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
There is a sensualness to the poem with its feminine orbs and roundnesses glowing that creates a touch of dissonance with the death-images of Halloween, All Saints, All Souls, Fall, winter on the way, Spring a long way off. Pregnant with ideas and images in 17 steps. Here's to insanity. t.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-13 17:38:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47826
Hi Joanne, You must be writing a collection or just flirting with the season here. I'm enjoying reading your haiku. You place us in celestial peace with these well developed, brief poems. The brevity proves the seriousness and the depths of your craft. These are simply good, and every time I come across writers who can write about nature and the night time or natural elements so wonderfully, I blush -- because I can't. Most of my writing is bogged down in some serious social issue (smile), but I find pleasure in it, and when I read haiku and poems like these, like yours, I think I'm reading a writer who will live a long time because you have learned how to find the peace, quiet, and the calm in the midst of your writing. If you've mastersed it here. You've more than likely mastered it in your mind. Thanks for sharing a wonderful haiku. I absolutely adore the last line, "flirts with the high stars" Excellent. Latorial www.latorial.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-13 05:51:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61905
THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE DRIVEL IVE EVER READ!----(just thought you might like a change of pace from the hordes of accolades you receive with each submission)-------C'MON! LET'S GET A LITTLE CONTINUITY WITH CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION HERE! lol-tangerine-jack o'lantern orb-flirting with the stars are beautifully expressive--you must have some bottomless reservoir from whence this flows. citrus satellite greedily hogging the sky fat from fall harvest

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-11 16:24:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68750
I'll assume the high stars are physically high and not high in the other sense, Then again a flirting moon could be intoxicating. I can see virgo pouring wine and libra is thrown off balance with tipsy scales. Thanks for letting me read and comment. No matter how inane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-10-11 15:49:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Joanne--You've completely elevated your quality of Japanese Verses in a very very short time. At this rate you'll have your own noteable collection of "Moon" haiku to rival the likes of Erzahl-smile. T'is the season, the month and image for such vivid imagery portraying Holloween. Thanks for sharing such a current event. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-10-11 15:43:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I am not familiar with the technicalities of Haiku, but can speak to your poetic effects. Rhythmic tantalizing use of words. Tangerine is a rare word, yet so chock full of purpose for describing a holloween moon or harvest moon. WELL done. The second line has poetic beauty and economy with internal rhyme punctuated (long "o" in glowing and o'lantern) and separated by the hardness of "jack", and then finishes rhythmically with orb. This line is exquisitely balanced and rolls musically off the tongue: "glowing jack o’lantern orb". Well done. The last line captures the declining goddess of the celestial skies, who borrows her light and yet recognizes the power of her innate beauty in contrast to the radiance of others. Economy prevails in splendour throughout this poem. Thanks for the journey Joanne. Blessings, Robert

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