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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-12 18:27:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Silence

I never knew silence could be so loud. But it is. It reminds me of the sound of a seashell, Held to my ear. I can hear it roar, softly Like a seashore. It would be a vacant sound, If not for the tears. I cannot hear the tears, Only the silence, As it roars inside my ears.

Additional Notes:
Mell asked us to post an old poem and this is mine. I think I posted it here a long time ago...was using a lot of punctuation then!! If you say I have not improved as a poet I will just hang myself!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-04 13:57:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.35088
Marilyn, Old poem, new poem.....makes no difference. It expressed a time, a moment. And it has value. As we grow we learn, we change but our poetry just shows the process. It's all good and has it's mert. I like the thought. SILENCE IS THE MOST DIFFICULT TO ENDURE. Cause then we can hear and see...whats before thee. good.... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-11-02 18:33:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Yes, you have improved as a poet. You’ve gained depth and confidence since you wrote this one. Although, I like the simplistic message of this poem and the image it invokes. Thanks for sharing it. Why is punctuation bad? Kay-Ren

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-10-28 03:21:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, It is so obvious when a poet is writing, at any stage of their craft. You are much more crafted now, but it is obvious you were born to the breed. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-22 19:11:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.96078
This seems to me simpler then the ones you write now and yet like now it is emotional, so I would say you've gotten more complex and interesting but still you have your own voice. Thanks for letting me read and comment.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-10-13 15:54:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
marilyn--Nice mixture of figurative speech and plain language rimes(roar/seashore; hear/tears/ears) IMO, gives this read a melancholy feel, but still a cute little poetic ditty. Excellent oxymorons through out stanzas: first (silence/loud), third (roar/softly), fourth (vacant/sound) and possibly fifth (hear/silence). This terse long ago post shows early potential of scribe. That promise has come to fruition: No need to commit sideways or even hang yourself-smile. Thanks for bringing this piece to the reach-back party, I enjoyed the soft roar of the loud "Silence." TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-12 21:42:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
The deafening roar of silence. I wonder how old you were when you wrote this, and what circumstances if any prompted this theme. A simple poem with simple words stated simply, but that carries the power of personal epiphany and leaves the mind begging to know the culprit responsible. Intriguing!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-10-12 21:25:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, Don't grab your rope! You've grown by far, but the tale of this first piece is timeless. I love the first line...it is true how silence can be very loud.. the sounds in our thoughts are alarming sometimes. The question of this little challenge is have we grown with our poems..what do you think? Andrea

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy T Bindhammer On Date: 2004-10-12 19:51:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, Please don't hang yourself - I think that your poem portrays the pain of silence well. It is simple and clean - I feel your tears. Thank you for posting it. peace Nancy B

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-12 19:13:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
Marilyn, This is a great poetic reflection and hopefully a great discovery for those who read it. It reminds me of a slogan that one of my college tshirts carried: "Silence is the loudest noise awakening for the very first time." I have always thought silence was such a profound topic because it carries so much meaning, and you bring that out in your poem here. I think that even the way that you have structured these lines and allowed for the spacing and the "silence" to be heard in between the stanzas is phenomenal. It helps to capture the very effect of what you write about. Thanks for wooing me with this title, because that is what made me choose it, and it was a pleasure to read. These are the things that poets right on, what we fill our heads with. We have plenty of silence that really IS NOT silence, and no one could explain it better than us. The loudest times of our lives have occurred during our most silent moments. Take care, and thanks for sharing something to provoke my thoughts continually. Great poem. Latorial www.latorial.com

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