This Poem was Submitted By: Primrose Maclean On Date: 2004-10-16 23:48:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © October 2004 Primrose Maclean
Edge of a Ledge
On the edge
Of a ledge
Waiting for you to say
Or, at least gesture
With a tap
You need to push
To see how I'd fall, and
How you'd feel about my fall
But, when it's all
Said and done
I was the one
Because I had been on the edge
Of that ledge
For far too long.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach On Date: 2004-11-02 20:48:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
I gather that you are speaking here of falling in love, but it could also mean madness or finally letting go of something. There are several possibilities and yet I am sure there is only one meaning for you. That is the one that truly counts. Whichever it means, I do say that this work is very much complete. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Good work!
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-28 16:03:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.64516
This is such a heart rendering piece...full of pathos and gut wrenching emotion. On
first read I was convinced that you were speaking of suicide but it may not be that at
all. It could easily be a struggle with drugs or alcohol. But in my mind it reads more
like someone in a one-sided love affair. You are on 'the ledge' because you are not sure
how 'he' feels....does he want you to jump off the ledge and become someone he can push
around...or is he testing you and your love for him? Perhaps he is the one who is
insecure and fears if you are no longer on the ledge that you have come to a decision to
leave him. Anyway...sorry to over theorize this piece...but it makes me think. How many
people are there, out there, that are just as uncertain about their lives as this piece
depicts? You are a talented writer so forgive me if I have totally fractured the
meaning of this poem. I really do enjoy your work and hope to read more of it soon.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-17 20:44:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.51351
Man, what a succint and brief, but excellent poem capturing the essence of what could or did happen on a ledge. This poem goes beyond suicide. Suicide, in my opinion, is the face value of the poem, and that may have been your intention (to have it entirely about that). But having been a literature student before, I hahve learned to read too much into things and to actually find more.
You have offered up a great poetic rendition on which to do so. I like the subtlety of the lines. I like the way the poem easily unfolds, almost like unwrapping a package. You never know what you're going to get until everything is exposed.
Another great thing that you have done in this poem is illustrated the "flip-side" of the situation. Most people think that lots of people have committed suicide to get a reaction out of someone they are leaving behind (parents, a boyfriend/girlfried, spouse, etc.). But here, you give us the other side of "suicide." You talk about being pushed, and then thirdly, you talk about being pushed and having the person who pushed you to it lie about it or not disclose the truth.
When I first looked at this poem, I thought, my this is cute and simple and profound, but the more I read, the more you provoked my thoughts and made me think of "Suicide." And like I've said before, this poem is about so much more. We can look at the "edge of a ledge" as being about anything that's seriously risky, anything that could cause one to lose his/her life. It could be drugs, alcohol and other types of obvious dangers.
Thank you so much for sharing this poem at TPL this month. This is just the kind of poem that I enjoy reading. It not only reads like a poem, and sounds like one, but this piece possesses the inherent qualities of good poetry. It causes its readers to think about each word and exactly what they mean. Even after the poem is over, the reader is left to ponder on the words.
Great job poet, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-17 15:21:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.45455
What a delightful name.
Someone said to me recently, "do not give your power away".
I think whoever your waiting for to say push.......has the power over you.
Granted we can love the hell out someone.....but it really doesn't matter if they feel the same.
You love whom you love. What does matter is if they hold your well being in their hands and you are
powerless. Unless you like the picture your living in.
I believe men admire women that hold their own.
Noone must be on a ledge unless they choose to be.
I seem to be preaching...sorry. Maybe you can glean somethinng out of this.
As you see, you got me involved in this piece.
It was simple to read but quite complex.
I believe understanding took place and thats always the objective.
From one whose lived on the edge...
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-10-17 11:45:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is a fascinating piece. I can hear Collective Soul singing in the background, and each line, but the “I was the one who jumped”, echoes well their song.
What strikes me is an agreement between the immediate, that is “an actual ledge” and the fulfilling prophecy, that is “day to day search for hope, and/or the untouched person within”.
I believe the metaphor is well put in the context of living, and the context of hopeless goals. I know, in my experience, how close that ledge can get.
Fortunately I have never been there, quite that long. Great Piece, on my voting list.
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