Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-11-25 22:40:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

verse 65 (Black Forest)

Desert of dessert Chocolate with cherry stones Marshmallow pebbles

Additional Notes:
- Happy Thanksgiving!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-12-04 10:29:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Erzahl, This verse makes me hungry! I see it was written for Thanksgiving and is appropriate for this reader since I I associate the day with eating, eating and eating, oh yeah and being thankful too. *Smile* Well if theres three combination of sweets that can tempt my taste buds, these three are definately in the running: Chocolate, cherry and marshmallow. YUM! This verse evokes the olfactory senses to remember those wonderful flavors! It may look like a desert with stones and pebbles, but it is a delicious dessert. Your use of poetics is dessert to our ears as well, beginning with double "D"s, then double "Ch"s and assonance of "O". Wonderful! Thanks for a tasty morsel! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-11-28 17:07:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl--You've depicted the pinnacle of desserts. An apt seasonal vision:this concise piece creates vivid imagery of mouth watering end to tasty meals or suffice as a calorie-buster for any dieter, serious or not (just reading this made me gain a pound-smile). Thanks for remembering and doing so in your trade- mark style. Excellently done as usual. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-11-26 15:02:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Hi Erzahl, Finally a haiku from you on my list!! I am especially fond of this one..not only that it is very apt for this time of year but it sounds so good it makes my mouth water. desert of dessert...only you could have possibly thought of this line...I love the play on words...wonderful chocolate with cherry stones....I love chocolate covered chrries...in fact my daughter- in-law always buy me a box every year for Christmas. She knows I won't buy them for myself...too fatening and also I have a theory that if I don't buy them they aren't really mine so they can't make me fat! Flimsy excuse but works for me. marshmallow pebbles.............this heavenly food just tops it off for me as marshmallow is another of my favorites...love it on a chocolate sundae. I don't have any chocolate in my pantry but an old bottle of chocolate syrup...think I will go drink some of it as you have "flung" a craving on me...then I will go run up and down the street a few times...it is snowing outside so that might look a little odd. Thanks for this mouth wartering haiku and I hope to catch more of them before they go off my list. If you ever need any credits let me know as I will be glad to give you some of mine. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-11-26 10:07:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Eezhal Do you mean dessert of dessert or are you evoking the desert here? either way, the poem is delicious

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-26 08:39:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
apples surrounded flaky skulls' juicy thinking liberation calls Well that was my dissert!

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!