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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-02-12 11:46:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I Can hear Humming Bird Wings

I cheated the angel of death and found rose colored glasses that beguiled my senses like succulent ambrosia. I can see the smallest tree sprout and more dancing stars in heaven. The muted sounds of alfresco leave me breathless, even solemn silence holds sound for me with its soft sibilance in my ear and now the avid thunder speaks in tongues. If an owl hoots and night groans aghast I hear that too. I adore morning creeping over the hill and twilight with its vermilion moon hanging above. There is eloquence of beauty in discovery of trivial things. If I were to lie beneath the sky I could hear clouds applaud heaven's choir, rain drops before they fall...and now I can hear humming bird wings

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2005-03-07 22:17:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Marilyn, How true it is that once one has cheated the angel of death, he/she is more perceptive to all things great and small; the psyche seems to have been propelled deeper into what lies within us. "I cheated the angel of death and found rose colored glasses that beguiled my senses like succulent ambrosia." [I love the imagery you portray here...and the simile of 'succulent ambrosia' is wonderful, an aphrodisiac of sorts for the soul.] "more dancing stars in heaven." [I never really took notice of the stars until I returned from my near-death experience; now they dance for me always, as if inviting me to come to them and somehow be closer to the celestial realm] "The muted sounds of alfresco leave me breathless, [nice assonance in these lines, sibilant sounds softly calling] even solemn silence holds sound for me with its soft sibilance [you even addressed it here! I like this] in my ear and now the avid thunder speaks in tongues." [wow! you continued it throught the stanza...well done! I like the juxtaposition of 'sound' and 'silence'] "There is eloquence of beauty in discovery of trivial things. If I were to lie beneath the sky I could hear clouds applaud heaven's choir, rain drops before they fall..." [oh, the silence and solace found after returning to earthly realm; nothing is ever quite the same, is it?] "and now I can hear humming bird wings" [this line really brings me to my knees, because lately, every time I am really down and depressed I sit on my patio and it never fails, a humming bird hoovers just at my eye level, in your face, so to speak, and flaps its wings at warp speed trying to get my attention! I too can hear humming bird wings and the message he brings to me!] Well done, poet. Thanks for the great read! My best to you, Beck

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-03-02 19:26:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68966
Can you hear the applause from this far away? As Billy Crystal says, "Mahvelous darlin', simply mahvelous." And that is all I can say. I do await the hummingbirds return to my feeders. Oh, I used to tell my patients to put on rose coloured glasses and tip toe thru the tulips because they weren't facing reality. If I read you correctly...nah, I wont go there// I loved the "if an owl hoots...that is perfection. Oh my, I need to bask in your radience! Wanna dance?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2005-03-01 18:23:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Marilyn: This is a wonderful work about a second chance to appreciate the sights and sounds of the world around you. The writerexperiences a rebirth of ability to hear and see the slightest natural occurrences around her and is filled with wonder and awe. Descriptive poetic phrases abound in this thought provoking new look at life.... terms I found unique and moving: solemn silence holds sound for me.. avid thunder speaks in tongues... twilight with its vermilion moon hanging above... and of course... "hear humming birds wings" All of the above, Marilyn, prove your mettle as a poet... and understate the majesty of the trivial things you so eloquently observe and embrace...in your appreciation of this second chance to experience life.. LOve it. Thanks for sharing this fine work. Always your friend, Gerard

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-02-28 16:46:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57692
Marilyn, You are looking through rose colored glasses. And that is great! I'll wager to bet as high as you fly happy/the direct opposite is so the low as you can go. Your depth of perception was altered [expanded]. It will never lessen. And may even get deeper. This puts you into an elite group. I've heard it said if we saw perfectly clearly, knowing, our sense of wonder and excitement would be gone. We would see the full reprocusion of everything.[and that would be tough!] Your poem is full of loving wonder and gratitude for what [is]. NATURE IS wonderfully described, sounds of leaves, morning, vermillion moon, thunder, clouds applauding, silence. Lots of alliterations; solemn, silence, sounds,soft sibilance' rhyme; lie-sky glasses-senses I think the titles intriguing The poem is good. Peace to you, Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandee L McMullan On Date: 2005-02-16 01:00:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
I like the title very fitting for this poem. A surrealism of sorts within this read. The descriptions are planned and the comprehension adores the reader. Truly an enjoyable read. Words chosen here are concise and suitable to bring the unique perspective of the narrator through to the reader in twists of the unexpected images. Internal slant rhymes and alliteration propell this poem as an adventure, always enthralled by the lingering title. A couple of tiny crits: Move "hill" back to previous line -- "that too. I adore morning creeping over the (hill) [hill] and twilight with its vermilion moon hanging Period at end, I am sure this has been overlooked. "I can hear humming bird wings(.)" The poem delivers its verses with competency; I enjoyed this much. There is so much to like here. I might venture to say this is much in the style of Robert Frost (blank verse), in my opinion. Its very well written with refreshing images. . . . . regards

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-02-14 17:28:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn: This is absolutely magnificent. Without a doubt, this one will be high on the winner's list for February. It is timely, with the approach of spring in all of our hearts and minds. I honestly think that this is one of your finest -- EVER! I've got to stop and catch my breath -- this poem is truly breathtaking. My fingers are flying ahead of my brain with enthusiasm. We read and read and enjoy many poems, and then, one comes along which gives us such intense joy that it makes us simply glad to be alive. You have written of so many of my favorite things in this poem, and with such originality and freshness that I'm running short of superlatives already. <smile> "rose colored glasses that beguiled my senses like succulent ambrosia" -- you give the reader the sense of ecstasy here -- the sibilants and warm imagery combine to form a combination that exhilarates. You've shown clearly how a brush with death can renew the spirit within. The recent experience of surgery is likely the origin of this sublime poem. You touched me deeply with your ability to "see the smallest tree sprout" and "more dancing stars in heaven." Again, "muted sounds of alfresco leave me breathless" is simply giddy with the joy of being alive. You communicate it so well that I cannot help but be elevated to the skies along with the speaker. "avid thunder speaks in tongues" -- there is a reverence here that glows -- the speaker's faith is showing. "If an owl hoots and night groans aghast I hear that too." --WONDERFUL! There's subtle humor along with great joy and euphonious sound. "I adore morning creeping over the hill and twilight with its vermilion moon hanging above." Where am I going to stop? Marilyn, the lines above are ones I only wish I had written. Your celebration of living and being is contagious. "vermilion moon" is exquisite and thrilling to this reader's ears. There is eloquence of beauty in discovery of trivial things. If I were to "lie beneath the sky" I could hear --delightful assonance clouds applaud heaven's choir, rain drops before they fall...and now <Sigh!> The subtle, haiku-like image of "rain drops before they fall" is one which is going to stay with me. Phrases from this poem are going to become part of the quotable history of The Poetic Link. Just when I think you have completely outdone yourself, you go one better! The image of clouds applauding "heaven's choir" is uplifting, energizing, enlightening and day-brightening. Whew! I hope you will circulate this one out and around so everyone can have the experience of its sizzling vibrancy. But you have saved the very best line for last, my friend: "I can hear humming bird wings" Because it is so good, so far beyond the expected and ordinary, I wonder if you really want to use it in the title? I can see why you chose it, because it IS the best line in the poem! But also for that reason, I could also argue for holding it away from the reader until the final line, where it goes off like a thousand brilliant firecrackers. (Well, without the sound -- but do you see what I mean?) You've captured the way life feels enhanced and all good things are magnified when one has had a brush with death. Even things which perhaps in the past were frightening or gloomy become radiantly beautiful. Oh, Marilyn, I love this poem! Brava, brava, brava! Standing ovation! A dozen pink roses, stems wrapped in silk ribbons extended to the poet. Best always, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-02-13 17:43:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Marilyn–Echoes of a 'son of a seventh son'-smile. Your title immediately reminded me of the movie "Ray" which I saw last week: in a restaurant scene the Ray Charles character relates to his dinner partner your title outside the window, when she looks, of course right on que there's this humming bird. In another movie Bruce Willis is the lone survivor of a horrific train crash, needless to say, he also gain special powers after “cheating the angel of death.” Finally, a poem "Ego Tripping" has even more hyperbole than this post. However, your tone does not have the appearance of braggadocio, more a stating of wonder and reverence as obviously depicted in these oxymoronic descriptors; “The muted sounds of alfresco leave me breathless, even solemn silence holds sound for me with its soft sibilance in my ear...” And the reverence for these gifts are continued and ended all to soon in; “There is eloquence of beauty in discovery of trivial things. If I were to lie beneath the sky I could hear (clouds applaud heaven’s choir), rain drops (neat personification) before they fall...and now I can hear humming bird wings” This is an awesome entertaining and imaginative offering. Sorry if I missed your mark. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-02-12 17:16:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Yes, yes, all that sound that becomes apparent when one almost enters the door to eternity. Suddenly all the senses are awakened, one no long walks a straight and narrow, they see the beauty of Up, understand how difficult it is to live down, suddenly they become aware of ever sound, usually one doesn't hear, but when a near death exerience occurs, all the senses, and the beauty of all that encompasses our world become that real. Your poem speaks it very well Marilyn, and it's not difficult to understand the ebb and flow one is experiencing, and poems like this may make it possible for those that walk with their heads in the clouds, that even the clouds speak, the rain, even the quietness of snow speaks, little creatures beguile and one becomes more aware, yes, you caught the flow, and in your writing it becomes is real, for those that experienced they know now, many don't, but many do. Nice smooth flow, with wonderful lyrics, unusual theme (unless one has experienced it), yep, my dear, you caught it all. If there are lots of typos, 1. can't see properly 2. lousy typist...Ha Ha (laugh ok) in all in a terrific poem, my best, keep writing, your growth has been wonderful...Love Jo Mo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-02-12 16:24:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Marilyn, Nice title that draws the reader in! And the poem doesn't disappoint. I espcially enjoy the first stanza where you allow the reader to share your rose colored glasses for just a moment while you ply us with enchanting ideas/images like tree sprouts and dancing stars. I counted eleven whispering "S" sounds in stanza two as your words come alive to prove your point. The description of the thunder as "avid" and "speaking in tongues" tells me even the thunder is a witness to the Glory. The entire poem is indeed witness to the fact that God's works are ever-present in our surroundings, even in the most simplist of things. You tell us there is wonder and joy in it all. The way you state this truth is unequivical, psalm-like and a blessing to all who read it. Thanks for the devotional. I hung on every word. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-02-12 12:10:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
And those wings in rapid movement make such a wonderful sound....their movement so swift at times you might miss them entirely if not for the sound they make on their way by or as they float in the air enjoying the nectar before them...... This piece is structured very well and I so enjoy the words chosen with their flow and images..... I cheated the angel of death and found rose colored glasses that beguiled my senses like succulent ambrosia. I can see the smallest tree sprout and more dancing stars in heaven. What a lovely way to open this piece.....I cheated the angel of death and dound rose colored glasses.......and the angel of death allowed such cheating for it was already written.......to be able to see the smallest tree sprout and dancing starts in heaven.......so many miles apart yet so close to one's heart..... vermilion moon will send this reader to find its most beautiful meaning for it just sings with beauty......makes me feel the lovelyness of the night, the soft flow and glow of the stars, etc. It is so true poet that it sometimes takes a close brush with death to step back and see the world we live in for what it is.....for the beauty in God's creation which is all around us and even when the darkest of days befals us there is light for He is always with us..... Thanks for posting, sharing and allowing this reader to ramble on.....be safe, God Bless, Claire

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