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This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-05-07 12:21:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Helen, this is a wonderful poem. I've read it repeatedly, enjoying it more each time. My mother (whose name, oddly enough, was also Helen) passed away not long ago and I wanted, for her, the sense of absolute trust and peacefulness that your speaker is offering here. I like to think she felt that, at the last. The opening line of every stanza makes this read rather like a lullabye ... it is soothing and so rhythmic. The listener (whom I assume is dying) can respond only with gratitude and even joy, for his or her burden is being lifted onto the shoulders of the other. Shush now and weep no more. .... I love the sound of "shush", so soft and gentle. I am here to brighten the darkness Lift the heaviness in your heart To walk with you through dampened jungles. I find "dampened jungles" to be totally unexpected. But they seem to represent the Valley of the Shadow, a close and humid place filled with fear. But the "I" of the piece --- Christ, or an angelic emissary of God -- is the true companion on this dark way. I am reminded of the 23rd Psalm, which I love. Shush now and weep no more. Reach out to me with unclenched fist Look up and feel the warmth from the light ... yes, "look up" with the spiritual eyes even if the flesh fails Let the wall of fear dissipate ... "dissipate" makes me think of awakening from a dream; perhaps life itself is less real than what comes next "Unclenched fist" is unusual. It suggests a release of anger; perhaps the "rage against the dying of the light", to borrow from Dylan Thomas, is not allowing the sufferer to let go. Earthly concerns also bind us and we clutch too tightly to what is familiar. I recall telling my mother, at the last, to move toward the Light. I gave her permission to leave me. She was comatose, and I doubted she could hear, but it wasn't ten minutes after I said those words that she departed. Shush now and weep no more. I am to guard you from all evil Silence the thunderous noise that surrounds you ... I've heard that hearing is especially acute at this time Cut the blackness and see the light. ... "Cut" is a forceful choice; good! Not only is Chirst our leader and guide, He is also our guardian. He can silence the tumult, as He did on the Sea of Galilee so long ago; He can pentrate the depths of night. There is a power and strength here. It is an aggressive confrontation with the forces of evil and there can be no doubt of the winner. Shush now and weep no more. Hear the sweet music of my voice Let it sooth [soothe] your terminal wounds ... clarifies the situation Now take my hand and come. ... simple, direct and oh, so filled with promise! Ah, now it is made clear that this is a deathbed monologue. The speaker bends low over the wounded, offering such reassurance that the soul will consent to step above its broken shell of a body. "Terminal wounds" could stand for any fatal disease, not just an injury. For some reason, though, I get a sense that you have a personal situation in mind. Shush now and weep no more. Open your eyes to see me ...... This is a vision denied while we are mortal; but the blind can see at last. We will ascend to the whitest mountain There we will watch the dawning of the new day. How lovely this image is! The whiteness of the mountaintop implies purification. The dawn is a clear symbol of rebirth and new hope. "Ascend" is a perfect verb to use here. Shush now and weep no more. Yes, give me your tattered hand ... "Tattered hand" is an evocation of so much sorrow and weariness. Follow me lightly to our destination ... "Lightly" refers to the newness and release but also can be read as a sort of wordplay on "light(ly)" I will be with you all the way. ... Indeed. We are given grace despite our own doubts and anxieties. The rhyme of day/way connects these last two stanzas; the newly-liberated soul prepares to rise, and the journey then begins. Both speaker and patient are fellow travelers, although the one will support the other, for He already knows this path. What a pleasure this is to read! It will stand the test, I think; we can return to it often, and be freshly inspired with each visit. Brenda

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