This Poem was Submitted By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2005-04-24 21:36:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Feathered Mask

He taunts us from behind the stone pillars that flank polished marbled aisles. He's here, he's there, grinning like a cryptic harlequin. Its not the feathers in his mask that makes him laugh. His joy brims at each of our failed footsteps, at each atrophied attempt to touch hands, to kiss cheeks. It is as though he is aware of all our deceptive destinies. Should you see his face, look away. Should his opaline eyes capture yours, your soul will surely wither. If he is smiling, you have reached the abyss. Pray he doesn't speak.

Copyright © April 2005 Gene Dixon


This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-04-30 23:57:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.26087
'He taunts us' - great opening 'grinning like a cryptic harlequin' - stunning imagery and metaphor 'opaline eyes'and 'atrophied attempt' - wonderful 'his joy brims at each of our failed footsteps'- brings a feeling of doom well written, thanks for posting Audrey


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-04-25 22:57:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
BFB, Fascinating poem from your quill. I love this one! I like the ones I can think about for hours - they grow character, and improve the mind. Poems have to be big if they're gonna be worthy of their true Creator - the guy standing at your shoulder. And this one's . . . BIG. I have some idea who this guy is. I think he was here around '02, '03. Right? FP
This Poem was Critiqued By: Helen C DOWNEY On Date: 2005-04-25 18:45:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.77419
Hello Gene, This poem is by fall a very interesting piece. I feel as if I am in church. The first stanza has Jesus watching us from between stone pillars, and he gazes down marbled ailes inbetween the pews. In the second stanza the feathers are his crown of thorns, and through blood stained tears he watches us at our failed attempts to struggle through life. In the third stanza he is letting us know that he sees all and knows all. In the fourth and fourth stanza if we see his face and look int his eyes we will see him smile, this is when we know we have reached the otherside. In the last Stanza..."Pray he does't speak." Who knows what he'll have to say to us or where he will send us. This piece had a lot of good imagery , good pacing as wellas structure. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. Helen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-04-25 10:37:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Bush? Cheney? I know the subject here could be just about anyone who is in power who not only indifferent to suffering but has an agenda of sacrificing innocent people for ones own selfish aims.The language is strong here and i like the amazing direct addressing of the audience. Fine piece Gene
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-04-25 09:29:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.44444
Oh my such a chilling thought. Must be the Devil? I always thought that the Devil would come in another human like form and changing appearances as he/she warrants. but perhaps the mask will' do. Why not? Quite frankly I don't believe in the Devil per se although I do believe in good and evil. Opaline eyes...I'll make sure I won't look into someone with that colour. I enjoyed this. The layout works well and guided me from verse to verse.
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