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This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-04-25 17:29:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Plug Up

The mop plugged the sink and nothing drained down. Incoming water spilled out and over. An abundance of dirty water was flowing out into the universe without any boundary. Seeping into everywhere gravity leading the force on it's downward course. Everything in its path swept along with the flow and away we go….

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-05-01 00:23:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
Dellena, Are you telling me to build an ark? Is there some flood coming from the a plugged cosmic mop sink. I hope you don't take offense, I just think the image of that is kind of funny and ironic all at the same time. On a serious note I think of this as there being so much "filth" in this world today that the sink in essence has become plugged. Oh, wait, I have a bunch of coyotes outside howling. Not surprised, it's 1 am. It's pretty neat though. I know, I'm rambling and you don't like long rambling critiques. I just thought I would share that quickly. As I was saying. What if the hand that cleans the universe just got sick of our wars and exploitations of the world and set the mop down covering the drain where all of these things "need to go". As they keep pouring in the mop sink sooner or later it must overflow. All of the wickedness comes running down on us and away we go. How about that for a wild guess? It's actually what I feel is happening here. Well written free verse departing a serious wisdom told in a light hearted way. I like this poem. Best, Always, Troy p.s. What happened with the second chicken?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-04-30 20:26:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.10000
A piece great left 'as is'. Fabulous last line. Thanks, Audrey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-04-26 12:47:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi, Dellena - it is good to see your work again. Plug Up I think the title of this marvelous sustained and profound metaphor could be a little more interesting - The mop plugged the sink and nothing drained down. grabber of a first line as it is a situation with which we can all identify. Incoming water spilled out and over. An abundance of dirty water was flowing out into the universe Here we make a giant step out of the kitchen and into the world - this line grabs us by the collar and shouts: "Listen" and engages our attention on a lot of levels. without any boundary. Seeping [-into] everywhere more and more over us - shades of The Sorcerer's Apprentice and all things which overwhelm us and for which we find no immediate solution gravity leading the force on [its]s downward course. [good orphan rhyme here] Everything in its path swept along with the flow and away we go…. away we go - this could mean a lot of things from - hell, let's just enjoy the ride - to we are all dommed... and that is what a good poem does - addresses us all where we live. Marvelous piece Dellena, best Rach

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-04-26 08:06:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Dellena, this poem is so replete with poetic justice that it assaults the senses as much as a nasty plugged up sink does. However, that said there is a certain commonness to this that will draw anyone who has ever struggled with technology, to read and think, “glad it isn’t me”!! The mop plugged the sink and nothing drained down. Incoming water spilled out and over. – The nightmare, to stop the bleeding, let us not expectorate and reduce the moment to dyke leaking, and finger stopping, all out recourse. An abundance of dirty water was flowing out into the universe without any boundary. – Although there is a commonness to this situation all of us can bond with, I wondered at this line, and the lines to follow, and decided, (yes with my unaided introscopic minds eye), that there is something more going on here than just a nasty sink overflowing. Maybe you are “embellishing” and that is really what this is all about, but I’m going to have some fun anyway. It sounds as if the universe had collapsed to a singularity, and finally the “stopped sink” explodes…. and here we are – the flow into the universe. (not exactly right, because the “bang” would have actually created the universe it is flowing into, but that is far to advance a mathematical theory for me to condense down to “stopped up sink” analogy. Seeping into everywhere gravity leading the force on it's downward course. Everything in its path swept along with the flow and away we go…. – so, as the universe expands, the stopped up sink has become the mighty Mississippi – and the flood causes such destruction and despair, but wait.. in the flow, as it wanes, as it is… transformed, has brought new fertility, and “away we go”,… the earth, is born, as the wheat is harvested. And the watcher, writing, wonders when next the sink will become, an obstacle to creation, or, shall we say, the vehicle of creation?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2005-04-26 03:27:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 7.66667
Dellina, I have felt like this. As a matter of pure fact, I am going through a period right now. I so want to rid myself of this debris after having mopped it up, but to avail. I am over-flowing with with yesterdays footprints. Funny how this poem manages to put this in perspective for me. But then, your work usually does one way or another. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-04-25 18:37:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The mop plugged the sink and nothing drained down. Incoming water spilled out and over [her rims?]. An abundance of water was flowing dirty into a universe without [] boundar[ies], Seeping [] everywhere gravity l[ed] the force on it[]s downward course, everything in its path swept along [in] the flow [another ending]... "and away we go" is too easy. make it hurt.

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