This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-05-03 03:55:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Retail Therapy "Lean forward and smell the leather"
her red full lips were slightly parted when this was said.
The heady aroma of manicured skin hit me!
They lay in the open blue box,
on a crinkled bed of musical tissue.
Excitement barely contained,
she lifted my gift as if they were the sacred chalice.
This, the talisman to modern feminity.
In her hands she had "the" shoes to die for.
Placing them reverently on the floor,
easing in eager pedicured feet.
Our eyes took in the vision!
They were adorned in delicate hand crafted flowers.
Black material to reveal blushing toes.
Shaped and sculptured arches suspended the tailored feet.
Ankles framed by cultured lines.
Ties of silk bound defined calves.
Things of beauty.
Presented on an architects stiletto.
Heels had never looked so elegantly sophisticated.
Our eyes met and all she could say was a breathy "O".
A happy woman courtesy of Karen Millen.
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Copyright © May 2005 stephen g skipper
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-03 21:45:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
You have definately painted a picture and captured that little secret place us girls try not to let others know about. It is a funny thing how giddy a pair of heels can make a woman feel. Unusual and captivating, I could not help but to read on.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-02 19:46:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
Well, I must say, this is one superb piece. Grammatically it's perfect. The tenses and sentences
make adorable reads. Things like "musical tissue" and "architects stilletto)...btw architect's
could use the apostrophe...but that's a small point. Well done stephen. I don't know who Karen
Millen is. I assume the lady in question?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-05-30 11:10:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Stephen:
I’m always happy to find another of your poems. This one a lyrical
tribute to feminine beauty, intensely drawn, with the focus on her
slim, elegant foot. You paint this portrait with vivid yet delicate
colors.
The title didn’t quite prepare me for the poem. I think because of my
own bias toward shopping – I don’t enjoy it unless in a bookstore, or
plant nursery. But as I read into the poem, I really got into it,
because of your very well-done visual, tactile and other sensual details.
""Lean forward and smell the leather"
her red full lips were slightly parted when this was said."
Leaning into life, inhaling the loveliness of scent,
with almost a child’s anticipation of Christmas. Giving the
speaker and the reader the cue that to be fully present
to life, one has to “lean forward” to receive it.
"The heady aroma of manicured skin hit me!"
Hmm, sounds as if you are prepared for the experience
but surprised by it. :)
"They lay in the open blue box,
on a crinkled bed of musical tissue."
“musical tissue” is lovely, the auditory image delicate
nice use of color, with ‘red full lips’ and ‘blue box’
"Excitement barely contained,
she lifted my gift as if they were the sacred chalice."
Splendid sounds of “lifted/gift” – the soft ‘f’ like a whisper
The reverence which the speaker (you?) hold for the woman
is shown with “sacred chalice.”
"This, the talisman to modern (femininity).
In her hands she had "the" shoes to die for."
<smile>
"Placing them reverently on the floor,
easing in eager pedicured feet."
Once again, “reverence” directly stated.
"Our eyes took in the vision!
They were adorned in delicate hand crafted flowers.
Black material to reveal blushing toes."
There’s a sweetness to “blushing toes” that delights me. The poem contains
a definite erotic tone, done tastefully, with joyful innocence implied.
"Shaped and sculptured arches suspended the tailored feet.
Ankles framed by cultured lines.
Ties of silk bound defined calves."
I think the one for whom you have written this tribute might be especially pleased
to see herself reflected in your poetic mirror this way.
"Things of beauty." Lovely. Beauty should never go unappreciated, wherever we find it.
"Presented on an (architect's) stiletto.
Heels had never looked so elegantly sophisticated.
"Our eyes met and all she could say was a breathy "O"."
Nice, with plenty of sensual allusions, as mentioned earlier.
"A happy woman courtesy of Karen Millen."
Some poems are ‘about’ the celebration of life, in all of its variances. It is a treat
to read this, Stephen. I was a bit surprised to read the shoe designer’s name. Are you
thinking of sending this to her as a ‘thank you’ perhaps? A thought.
I used to enjoy such shoes, but currently mostly live in my sandals, sox, bare feet,
boots or sneakers. I used to wear shoes like these in my twenties. I had to take them
off to drive. Your poem brings back memories! (Some sweet, some of painful feet.)
Thank you for another one. Take care. Keep sending us more of your poetry. :)
Best wishes,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-16 07:24:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Stephen,
I'm not sure if I've had the pleasure of critiquing on e of your poems before but I was deeply impressed by the craft you have put into 'Retail Therapy'. I will be keeping my eyes open for more of your work.
Written in free-verse, this unique poem grabs the reader from start to finish with its gravity of sensuality and focus (the foot of a woman -often considered one of the more sexually sensitive parts of a woman).
You've given this poem an atmosphere through vivid imagery ('They lay in the open blue box, on a crinkled bed of musical tissue', 'They were adorned in delicate hand crafted flowers', etc) and supported this with great descriptives that enhance the power and appeal of the gift you offered her ('Presented on an architects stiletto','Heels had never looked so elegantly sophisticated', etc---- excellent and original----It's amazing the way you are able to create magic from a pair of shoes!!)
'Excitement barely contained,
she lifted my gift as if they were the sacred chalice'.
This line stole the moment. The image of her holding your gift as if it were the sacred chalice is a stroke of genius as it conjures up a lovely image in the mind of the reader and also adds a whole ocean of depth to the importance of the gift and its meaning to her.
I liked the touch of Karen Miller. I wonder how many new clients she earned after this one :-)
The poem flowed well and the title was fresh and apt.
Yes, I'm all praises for the piece and I wouldn't change a thing about it.This was sheer craftsmanship and I hope to read more in the very near future.
Take Care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-11 15:07:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Stephen,
What a sensual evocative poem.
manicured leather skin, to musical tissue to stillettoes.
Black, flowered, silk tied by Karen Millen.
I think this poem should advertise her shoes!
I like the title, to me it infers a zing was needed in the romance and
the shoes did it!
Your lady made all the right moves and words. O!
Sounds like a great time in the ok corral!
Good for you.
I like sculptured and cultured together.....
shape,sculptured, suspended.......s'
easing eager..feet....eyes.....e'
I'm looking for something to 'beter' this poem but alas I'm
to involved to think clear.
I think this is a winner in my book.
"and a happy women I am for the read"
Wow
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-07 05:16:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good Morning Poet.....Enjoyed the read, the emotions presented along with the images projected with the flare of your pen.....well structured, easy word flow and so alive.......like the thought and sound of musical tissue.....it was actually very sexual to read, imagine her slipping her feet into those shoes she loved so much........great job my friend....thanks for posting and sharing with us. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-05-06 19:19:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Stephen, This is the first piece of yours that I have read.
I very much enjoyed it. This is comming from woman with a shoe addiction :)
The switch up of structure is done brilliantly in this poem.
Nicely done,
Audrey
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