This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-05-12 15:19:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Cursed

Wrapped thought around my mind warp and torture till concluded. I analyze, criticize, and am mesmerized by the process of decisive thinking. The pros, the cons are both unsatisfactory. One more, next less, neither best.  My future, my very breath at stake yet still I hesitate and vacillate. Momentarily thinking this, later that. Mayhap better, possibly worse,  I am, most obviously cursed.  Change is transition from today. I wished I'd run away, yesterday.

Copyright © May 2005 Dellena Rovito


This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-06-05 18:35:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78261
This is so very true of most of us isn't it? Fear the great factor in this I feel. Afraid of change, of taking that step of making that choice, and there we sit, and only dream our dreams, to afraid to life them or make that first step. I love the way you used the inline rhyming through your poem, made it read so fluidly. examples of this are "criticize, and am mesmerized"..."I hesitate and vacillate."...and again "away, yesterday". and with all this your poem or rhymes never seemed forced or a word used just to fit. Very intelligent writing here Dellena, I enjoyed this very much. Nancy


This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-06-02 19:06:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, This poem is pretty awesome. i believe that you are writing about writing or even poetry. Well, that's how it appears to me. The language in this poem, as well as the words and style, seem a little different than what you normally submit here. I like the title, and I believe the last line leaves readers stung and stunned. This is the poem that every writer writes at least once in his her life, and sometimes or most often, they never share it with a soul. Thanks for writing it and sharing it. I think this is one of your best poems, not that I've read them all. Let's say it's one of the best ones I've read. It's dark, but it's truth, and that makes the best poetry. I write the best poetry from very dark places, places of my own or other people's places. There's so much to be said for honesty; it's poetic justice. Well done. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-05-27 07:33:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, Dellena, Thoroughly enjoyed this poem, the depth, the questions, this is what makes good poetry. A personal side to life is brushed upon by most but you add complexity into this showing the confusion that arises and the curse of life is displayed. I see rhyme when it is needed, I see prose where it blends, three well presented stanza with a thought presented for the ending wishing that one does not have to live the curse. Outstanding piece of work. Thank you, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-05-20 14:14:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89474
Hi Dellena, 'wrapped thought around my mind warp and torture till concluded'...I hate this, especially when it happens at night! Somtimes it is very difficult to turn off the brain for it never sleeps and even tho we analyze, criticize, and memerize, we can't always be sure if we get it right or even understand the problem. The second stanza perfectly explains our dilemma...pros, the cons, are both unsatisfactory..one more, next less, neither best....I hesitate and vacillate...very well put...sometimes the more we try to solve a problem the more we out-think it...momentarily thinking this, later that...your sense of humor really comes through here and makes this piece so delightful but at the same time addresses the problems we all have with indecision...change is transition from today. I wished I'd run away, yesterday..very clever...so much of your work as a twist at the end making it a pleasure to read...but you must promise not to run away!! Blessings.....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-19 06:59:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
I often wish I too had run away long before now for those thoughts fill my mind daily.........but why? Where would we have gone Poet? Would our life had been different in some way or did we complete and still completing God's whole plan...........good structure, word flow, images, emotionally packed as well.......I am glad you did not run away for who knows if your voice would be heard as it is today.......thanks for posting and sharing my friend.....God Bless, Claire For the record, you are not cursed........
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-05-16 00:42:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Dellena The poet is not cursed, the poet is simply a human mouse trying to stare down the cobra of an intellect that knows too much for its own good. Or thinks it does. Unfortunately God built us so that the total psyche is infinitely larger than the ego ... as Jung puts it, with respect to the psyche "we are not the masters of our own house"... And you have captured the dilemma very nicely: the weightiness of the decisions to be made and the tenuous shape-shifting basis on which to make them, all rolled up with a good dollop of angst and discomfort. I'm glad you didn't run away ... would never have gotten to read this if you had! Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-05-12 16:59:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
You still didn't correct the spelling~vacillate s/b vascillate. Okay...like a said, "change is good" so what's keeping you?...and I still hate that typestyle.
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