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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-05-31 15:27:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Stars Alive!

Tiny fantasies Flit and glitter through the trees Children’s captured prize Lanterns snatched from summer skies Sparkling stars in mason jars

Additional Notes:
tanka poem

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-03 14:56:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I like the way you have captured the fireflies and the imaginary fantasies that come from an innocent age. Having never been fortunate to actually see fireflies this instills a rich imagery and helps to fill a space that hasn't been fulfilled....... For me it read fluidly, good rhythm, thank you.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-06-02 07:09:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89583
Hi Nancy, You are doing an amazing job with this art form, painting such beautiful pictures in the process. Fireflies have always been one of the more intriguing species of creatures in Nature's vast treasure chest and this poem brings back vivid images of my childhood days when bottling fireflies was as engrossing as magic. The poem title is at once magnetic and draws the reader in with an element of curiosity. Stars Alive! How true and apt. This poem is two-fold in its ability to highlight the beauty of the fireflies and the thrill of the little children as they go about their merry-making. You bring the trees alive with glitter, the faces of the children alive with smiles and fascination. I remember how i would cling to my bottle of fireflies as if it were a trophy. 'Lanterns snatched from summer skies' --- BRILLIANT AND ORIGINAL. I like the soft rhyme scheme employed here - fantasies/trees; prize/ckies; stars/jars. It's always a pleasure to find a poem such as this at the end of a tired day's work. This was refreshing for the senses. Great job! Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-06-01 13:57:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Nancy, the structure of this one is perfect. Well done. The title I feel works well, especially with the exclamation point. The imagery you present here is wonderfull: 'flit and glitter through the trees' and 'snatched from summer skies' these words not only create a picture but also a feel of warmth and wonder. Nicely done, and thanks for posting, Audrey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-06-01 08:01:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy, Another well written tanka poem. My disadvantage in reading this is I just finished reading another one of your exceptional tanka formated poems. The flit and glitter did not entice me as much as the dancing of the butterflies. The first two lines although well written made this reader ask questions like: Tiny fantasies - they are to the eyes but so much larger than anything we can fathom. Through the trees - depending upon the season and type of tree. Now where you bring it home to me is the captured prize - within the childs eyes. Lanterns snatched from summer skies - the brillance and wonder received. Sparkling stars in mason jars - To reflect upon. This is only my take on the poem but it is really another outstanding one but your butterfly one captured me. Thanks for sharing, Thomas.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-31 18:37:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75342
Beautifully done my friend........to me they are the fireflies that dance across the open field from our home here in Tully on a warm summer night........so many they do indeed look like stars in the evening sky, yet closer to earth so we are a part of them.....children venture out to capture as many as they can, keeping them in the mason jar for when night falls they light the way home....... loved the expression....lanterns snatched from summer skies.......... great form, word flow and images projected with this one.....brings back memories of many yester years......thank you for posting and sharing with us.......God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-05-31 18:25:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This was refreshing Nancy. You took me back to my childhood days with this one. We used to catch the fireflies and watch them sparkle. They were so amazing to me. I like that you have compared them to STARS, live stars, in your poem. We get a sense of their beauty and just how radiant they are. I also love the line "Children's captured prize." Back then we thought that to have caught a mason jar of fireflies was to have Christmas in July. I do remember seeing who could catch the most. We also caught June Bugs (smile). Lanterns snatched from summer skies . . . another great line. You know, my grnadma used to think that it was mean to do this to the animals/insects, to capture and cage things of nature. I think that you were smart to use words like "captured" and "snatched" in the poem because it brings out the other side of this argument. This is an adorable and well written piece. Thanks for sharing it. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-05-31 18:12:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, I've seen the Tanka before and love the form, which is a flowing and sometimes rhyming soemtimes not form, with it's 31 sylables. Reading this particular Tanka is quite nostalgic, haven't we all captured lightening bugs and put them in a jar? It's a timeless hallmark of childhood. Just reading this reminds of the warm summer nights, running around at dusk with bare feet in the front yard, arms out at my sides, pretending to "be" the lightening bug. And Dad poking holes in the jar for me so the magical creatures would have air. Then letting them go all at once and watching them fly away lighting up the sky. I have to thank you for putting me in touch with such a fond memory. That being said the poetic devices used are really quite spectacular. This is a delectable little morsel that flows beautifully and I enjoy the rhymes of fantasies/trees flit/glitter, prize/skies, stars/jars. The alliteration of fantasies/flit, childrens/captured, summer/skies, sparkling/stars nearly knocked my socks off! Also the assonance of lanterns snatched is a real treat with an image that sticks in the mind. But that last line just blows me away...."Sparkling stars in mason jars" I feel full and ready for my nap, thank you. :) Seriously, I enjoyed this poem very much. Thank you for sharing! I will be looking for your work after this. Blessings, Jennifer

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